Stop Punching Yourself in the Face: 13 Self-Defeating Behaviors to Avoid

It’s not good to knock-out yourself.

Self-defeat is inevitable until you acknowledge you’re punching yourself in the face.

13 Self-Defeating Behaviors:

#1. People pleasing that motivates to stress-out over opinions and approval.

#2. Perseverance in the face of futility.

Stop rolling the same stone up the same hill. (Sisyphus)

Find a new stone or find a new hill.

#3. Defending your position instead of exploring options.

Your need to win defeats your team.

#4. Putting off important work until the last minute.

Procrastination is an excuse-maker’s back door.

#5. Perfecting before you go instead of perfecting as you go.

#6. Hanging from the knot at the end of the rope before seeking help.

If you want to go far, seek help early and often.

#7. Rejecting reasonable risk.

If you want things to be different next year, step out now.

#8. Giving feedback, but never seeking feedback.

The first function of leadership is model the way. Practice a behavior for three months before you ask others to practice it.

#9. Practicing pugilism on yourself.

Leadership is hard enough. Why not learn from mistakes instead of beating yourself down?

Obsessing about mistakes is a subtle form of arrogance. “I shouldn’t have done that.” But real people make mistakes. Wise people learn.

#10. Refusing to enjoy benefits and advantages.

#11. Avoiding elephants.

Only a two-year old believes monsters go away when you cover your eyes.

Difficult situations get worse when you avoid them.

#12. Dominating conversations.

The person who talks the most has the most power. If you want your team to feel powerful, listen to them talk.

#13. Dreaming without taking the next small step.

Any dream you can’t act on today is a self-defeating fantasy.

Tip: Sometimes the next step is learning from someone.

What self-defeating behaviors have you seen?

Which self-defeating behavior should you avoid today?

Bonus material:

7 Ways to Get Out of Your Own Way and Get things Done (Success)

10 Self-Defeating Behaviors to Avoid (FastCompany)