The Nefarious Danger of Avoiding People

Introverts enjoy people but need time to recharge after being in groups. This post is not about them.

I’m talking about withdrawal for nefarious reasons.

The meaning of nefarious isolation:

Early in life we begin telling people what we want. Toddlers throw tantrums, for example. As time passes, we get more sophisticated.

Children take their toys and go home when their friends don’t play “right.” Today, you might close your door like an angry teen, not answer your phone, or find excuses to avoid people.

Nefarious isolation means you want something you’re not getting.

Dangerous ability:

It’s easier to throw a tantrum than to say what you want. It takes courage to express heartfelt desires.

In our world we can live and work in isolation. On one hand, it’s advantage; on the other, it’s dangerous. A connected team goes further faster than a group of isolated individuals.

The person who withdraws loses the ability to turn big aspiration into reality.

In isolation your ability to achieve drops to one person.

Isolation as a nefarious message:

  1. Don’t ask me to do anything I don’t want to do.
  2. You’re not giving me what I want.
  3. I’m a control freak and only play with people who do everything I say.
  4. People can’t be trusted. A wall is safer than a window.

A person who isolates:

  1. Expects you to change but has already made up their mind.
  2. Wants to teach you but refuses to learn. A closed mind is self-affirming.
  3. Serves themself, not the team.
  4. Enjoys expressing their opinion but is bored when listening to other’s ideas.

Work hard to connect – when isolation is easy – so you can bring noble aspiration into reality.

Not nefarious:

All isolation isn’t nefarious. Self-reflection requires time alone. Occasional isolation enables higher productivity, for example.

How have you seen isolation cause damage?

What do you do when you see the desire for unhealthy isolation in yourself?

Bonus material:

When Isolation Becomes Dangerous (Psychology Today)

Why Successful Leadership Depends on Connection (Forbes)

The Great Leaders Guide to Connecting Emotionally with Others (Maxwell)