7 Rules for Overhelpful Leaders
Don’t hand the ball to a person who habitually drops it. Turbulent days have enough frustrations of their own. Don’t enable people to frustrate you.
First reflection:
Examine yourself before you complain about others.
- How are you helping in unhelpful ways? Negative patterns are leadership’s fault.
- Why aren’t you bringing up negative patterns?
- How are you doing the same thing, but expecting different results?
- What leadership development skills will improve your ability to help others effectively?
- What do you expect of yourself when negative patterns persist?
7 rules for overhelpful leaders:
#1. Don’t help too quickly. If your first response is doing something for someone, you are teaching people to depend on you, not themselves.
Leaders who help too quickly are despised by the people they help. No one respects you when you treat them as if they were incompetent.
#2. Don’t help too much. Before offering help, ask, “What do you need from me?” People need to hear their own voices asking for help.
Leaders who help too much enable helplessness.
#3. Don’t help too long. Provide help when people are learning new skills, rising to new responsibilities, or taking on new roles. Never habitually do someone’s job for them.
Competent people need to run.
#4. Always bring up issues with optimism. Don’t bring it up if you don’t believe in their desire and ability to improve. Reassign them instead.
#5. Help people who outgrow the need for help.
#6. Don’t talk about anything you aren’t going to do something about.
#7. Don’t worry about concerns you won’t confront. Accept mediocracy.
When to stop helping:
Stop helping when you encourage dependency.
Stop helping when:
- Competent people don’t step up.
- Competent people expect help.
- You do more and they do less.
How might overhelpful leaders learn to be less helpful?
What are the secrets of effective help?
How might overhelpful leaders learn to be less helpful?
Let those in need come to you, granted if you know there exisits a situation that need immediate remediation beyond the capability of others, offer the guidance to fix the issue.
I like the option “If you need anything let me know”? How can I help you today? What did you do already? Perhaps establish a flow chart for those to work with in common situations of progression that eases their stress..
What are the secrets of effective help?
I like to believe we are building the knowledge base of others so they can lead. Don’t be afraid of letting them run the project, you hired them for a reason, let them do what you hired them for!
Ask questions to see if they truly understand the assignment or tasks they will be performing.
Learning when to Mentor and when to stay silent.
Encourage them to think and use all available resources on their own to find a fix.
Thanks Tim. You shared so many useful tips. One thing I notice is the importance of questioning. You want to be sure there is enough direction and clarity for people to excel.
Before you start coaching, make significant observations of people’s behavior? What are the patterns? In areas where they underperform, do they lack skills or motivation?
The right amount of coaching gives people just enough information at the right time to help them improve.
Too much coaching can often feel like micro-managing and can frustrate employees’ motivation. They wait to be told what to do and then do just that.
At the other extreme, some leaders provide little or no coaching. Not good!
When coaching:
–Ask questions—Are you open to discussing how you did? What was your goal? What would you do differently next time? What did you learn?
–Take advantage of teachable moments. The person is most open to hearing your comments.
–Be precise. Identify specific actions to improve.
–Stay flexible.
Evaluation—
a. Does your coaching help the person improve his performance?
b. Are there situations where you provide too much or too little coaching?
I am putting the first line — Don’t hand the ball to a person who habitually drops it. — on my wall! I especially see this in volunteer organizations. Some people consistently step up, which lets other people sit back and get the credit for the work done by others.
I’m leaving volunteer leadership for a while because of just the opposite problem. It’s only when I resign and commit to dissolving the corporation that help has arrived. I’m glad to open new doors, but sad to close them under these circumstances. Is the fault with me? Do I make things too easy for others to not step up? I’ve gradually increased the time between my asking to my doing, until it’s almost not happening, until the silence screams, but even then, nothing until the big drop. I question my own capacity for leadership. Any tips to see results like you see them?
Julie,
Trying setting deadlines.
“By 4:00 pm tomorrow, I need a volunteer to take the lead role on this project. Please call me or email me if you would like to take on this challenge.”
If no one volunteers, try communicating this approach. “No one volunteer to take on this project. Here is my new request. I need a team of two or three people to volunteer to take the lead on this project. I need your help. Please let me know by 3:00 pm today.”