5 Ways to Spot Common Blind Spots
You accidentally crowd into the wrong lane because mirrors have blind spots. Offended drivers scare the crap out of you when they blare their horns. First, you’re scared, then you’re mad!
It bugs you when someone brings up your blind spots.
Like mirrors, you have blind spots.
Self-perception is fuzzy.
People see things in you that you don’t or won’t see in yourself.
4 sources of blind spots:
#1. Over-using positive traits.
My ability to bring up difficult topics is a gift when used sparingly. It’s tiresome in every conversation.
- Focus becomes, “You’re so intense.”
- Curiosity becomes, “Don’t be so pushy.”
- Confidence becomes, “You’re arrogant.’
- Adapting becomes, “Make up your mind!”
- Listening becomes, “You never give direction.”
“Being pushy isn’t that bad. I’m just getting things done.”
You judge yourself by good intentions. Others judge you by your behaviors.
Confidence with ignorance leads to destruction.
You think you can do things you can’t. When I walk into the kitchen and tell my wife how to cook, it’s over-confidence.
#4. Past success.
It worked in the past. It will keep working, even if there is some fallout.
A blind spot obstructs our highest potential.
5 ways to spot common blind spots:
#1. Notice irritating feedback.
Remember this one, “You’re just like your mother?”
#2. Believe feedback.
When someone shares something they see in you, they’re right, at least from their point of view.
#3. Reject excuse-making.
Say, “Thanks for your feedback.”
Whisper to yourself, “What if they’re right?”
#4. Explore instead of resist.
“What am I doing that makes you say that?”
#5. Seek solutions.
When someone says you’re pushy, say, “I aspire to energize people. What suggestions do you have for me?”
Bonus: We go further with others. Seek out a blind spot buddy. Marissa Levin
Sudden Breakthroughs in Subtle Blind Spot
5 Ways to Find Your Blind Spots
Some great points. But you didn’t leave a question at the end of your post for us to respond to.
It’s one of my blind spots!!
Thanks for the reminder Paul. I’m not sure why I didn’t add a question.
@paul Thornton, why are you being so pushy about the questions? 🙂 I couldn’t resist
Hi Michael, I know Paul, and smiled at his nudge. 🙂 And, I continued smiling when I saw your note, too. I’m having fun. 🙂
I like #3 and #5 in how to find your blind spots. I can see #4, though, coming off as resisting. It puts the onus on the other person to explain why they are right, which contradicts #2. Suggestions on how to ask in a way that doesn’t come across as defensive?
Thanks Jennifer. Your insights are much appreciated. I think tone and demeanor make the difference between seeming resistant and open.
The other thing I think about are the sentences before the question. Thanks for your input. Could you help me out?
Or, I value you your input. I’m working to improve xyz. Could you help me out? What exactly are you noticing?
I think the answer to #2 is to remember it’s from their point of view. No reason to be defensive if you are curious to learn more about their point of view!
Thanks Amy. Your thoughts are helpful. We should remember that sometimes other people’s opinions might not matter. The downside of feedback is other people run your life.
“You judge yourself by [your] intentions. Others judge you by your behaviors.” – wow, eye opening!
Thanks Jackie. I forget where I first heard that. It’s not original with me.