Choose to Hug New Ideas Before Killing Them
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Killing new ideas:
When you don’t have a good idea, it feels powerful to shoot down new ideas.
It’s comforting to shoot down new ideas when you’ve invested so much to create the status quo.
Choose to hug new ideas:
Learn to go-with before you push against.
People learn to keep their mouths shut when new ideas face a firing squad.
Exploring an idea is different from agreeing with it. “Tell me more,” is better than, “That won’t work,” when new ideas are infants.
Get over feeling smart when you shoot something down. It takes a genius to go-with for a few minutes.
Questions that enable you to hug new ideas:
- That’s interesting. What are you striving to accomplish?
- I wonder. What would be true if we went in that direction?
- I’m just curious. What caused this idea to come up?
- What’s important about this to you?
Dangers of agreeableness:
Have a backbone. Too agreeable is dangerous.
- Your ideas get lost.
- Avoiding conflict is eventually destructive.
- Express a viewpoint. You’re worthless if you always agree.
7 ways to disagree in an agreeable manner:
- Go-with before you push against as a matter of practice.
- Be sure you understand before you demonstrate how smart you are by disagreeing.
- Ask open questions with curiosity. Don’t use questions like bullets.
- Develop a reputation for pulling-with when good ideas come up.
- Soften your tone. The harder you push back the gentler you should become.
- Don’t pout when your idea loses. Row like it was your idea in the first place.
- Ask two questions before making one statement.
Reflection:
Who will pull with you? The person you consistently shoot down or the person who feels like you are part of their team?
How can leaders hug new ideas before killing them?
4 Questions that Define a Useful Idea – Leadership Freak
7 Ways to Immediately Open Your Mind to Useful Ideas – Leadership Freak
John David Mann and I collaborated on a book about humility. Everything good in leadership begins there. If you’re reading The Vagrant as a team or a group, send an email to thevagrantbook@gmail.com and let me know. I’d love to setup a short video call with you to meet you, answer questions, and help you get the most out of your experience.
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what is the title of the book on humility, Dan?
I liked the recent post on Humility and how almost everything in business is connected to it.
It’s The Vagrant. Thanks for asking.
I find it’s helpful to consider what the proposed idea would look like when it’s implemented. That extends the discussion and tests for feasibility.
It’s eye opening to move from theory to real world, even if it’s in your mind.
What happens if we implement this idea?
Who is impacted if we implement this idea? Ideas that impact others are easier to come up with. I would rather you change than me.
Who is going to implement this idea? Are they giving you a job or are they seeking an opportunity to do something themselves?
It’s always about asking those curious questions to learn more about the idea because that new idea might be missing piece that you on your own couldn’t figure out! Great post and I’m looking forward to asking some of these questions this week!
Great point, Aaron. We can easily miss something. I think I know more than I know. A few questions help shift me into learning mode.
Great post. TONS to learn here. I tend to be agreeable, so creating a solid viewpoint (doing my own thinking ahead of time) is some of the work I need to improve at.
I love how you shifted the table stakes on us with this statement: “Get over feeling smart when you shoot something down. It takes a genius to go-with for a few minutes.” If I believe this, then I’m actually “smarter” when I give new ideas a chance. That’s a great way to view it.
Rick Warren has a great phrase that has helped me put my “new idea six-shooter” away – “Love it for 5 seconds.” This idea helped me “hear” my husband, kids and co-workers ideas better – so that’s worth a lot. 🙂
OOoooo. Love “Love it for 5 seconds!” Thanks for sharing.
Clarify your own thoughts first. Before I search for something on the Internet or go to chatgpt, I figure out what I think. It gives me a lens.
I *love* the Dangers of Agreeableness part here. Because finding that balance is so important.
Also, this: “Ask two questions before making one statement.”
Specific and actionable. Thank you for that!
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