In praise of Questions
(This is the “Q” installment of the series, “Alphabet for Leaders.”)
Momma said it isn’t polite to answer a question with a question. Don’t tell momma, but I think, at least on that one, she was wrong.
I bet you’ve done this. Someone asks a question and immediately you give a brilliant answer. After dispensing your pearls of wisdom, the questioner explains that you didn’t understand the question. Duh!
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Not all questions are good.
Employees who don’t want to follow directions use questions as tools to get out of performing assigned tasks. They keep asking for clarification until reverse delegation occurs.
Some questions are tools of distraction. Devious people squirm out of the spotlight by using questions to put the spotlight back on you or others. Their questions aren’t explorations they are protection devices.
Questions are the most powerful statements you can make.
Questions open windows of enlightenment. “It is not the answer that enlightens, but the question,” Decouvertes.
Questions overcome resistance. Make a statement and others naturally question it. People are pushed away. On the other hand, ask an honest question and people lean in.
Questions enable others to own their own conclusions. When I tell you the answer, I own the answer. If you arrive at the answer yourself, you own the answer.
Stupid Questions?
You may falsely believe that giving answers makes you seem wise. The opposite is true. Peter Drucker said, “My greatest strength as a consultant is to be ignorant and ask a few questions.”
Tell me who you are.
I make conclusions about others based on the questions they ask. If they don’t ask questions, I conclude they are self-absorbed and uninteresting. (I’m just being honest) Voltaire put it this way, “Judge a man by his questions rather than his answers.”
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How do we ask questions poorly?
How can we craft good questions?
What other leadership “Q’s” can you offer?
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If you enjoyed this post, you might enjoy: “The Ten Best Questions Ever.”
One way of forming poor questions, is when these questions are to lead for a specific conclusion or answer. These question lose honesty, undermine the wisdom of the listener, and don’t open the window for useful insight, they simply exercise authority and oppression on others, while some people will challenge the intended answers, others would nod their head hopelessly, and lose-lose situation results.
The good questions are those that are honest and will lead to useful ends, they help us explore the issue and connect the dots in a reasonable, meaningful, and engaging ways.
Thanks Dan, a really good post!
Huda
So nice to see you again Huda.
I’ve seen the person who uses questions to manipulate others. It’s not pretty.
Great comment,
Dan
Dear Dan,
Asking question creates confidence and increases options. Asking right and relevant question connects and irrelevant question disturbs and disconnects. I think asking question also increases your acceptability. But only asking questions with really no options exposes you and people come to know that asking question is your weakness to protect yourself. So, asking question with many options increases your reputation. And this increases your confidence and decreases fear.
Asking question poorly is the sign of ignorance, lack of subject knowledge and lack of preparedness. We can craft good questions overcoming these weaknesses.
The other Q of leadership are- quest, quiet etc. Leaders should have quest to know more and should not keep quiet where his attention is required.
Ajay,
You keep adding value to the conversation. Thank you.
I particularly like the idea that poor questions indicate a lack of subject knowledge. While leading introductory computer classes, I’ll ask if there are any questions. Frequently there aren’t because the participants don’t have enough information to ask a question. They need to know something before they can ask something. Unless they ask, what should I know.
That leads me to questions those who don’t know should ask – questions like, “what should I ask” or “what do I need to know”
When I read the “Q” for quiet I anticipated you would say “Be quiet and listen.” However you took my mind by surprise, in a good way.
Best regards,
Dan
Ajay is a featured commenter for the LF community. Read his bio at: http://leadershipfreak.wordpress.com/featured-contributors/
Hi Dan,
This topic of “questions” is a deep and meaty one. I must echo your thoughts that not all questions are good.
I do a fair amount of “change” consulting and one day there was a true resistor in the session — and he had a very weak team leader. The changes were going to move ahead based on upper mgmt vision yet here was a resistor in “analytic question” disguise. He just kept posing more and more questions that subtly suggested the org. should not move ahead. I finally looked right at him and said “You use questions to stop change.” He replied ……. “Yes” ! It was at that point that all the team leaders reconnected with what they needed to do to move the change forward.
#2 How can we craft good questions? If you mean open-ended questions, the good ones truly are open-ended to elicit honest responses. Rule of practice — the simpler the better.
EXAMPLE: In this situation, what would you do?
The more words you add to this question, the limiting it becomes.
ALTERNATIVE: In this situation, knowing what we know now and giving full import the serious risks involved, what would you do? — This format pressures the respondent in ways which may produce a less honest answer. So depending on what you want to achieve, craft carefully.
#3 Another “Q” for leaders is “Quintessential”. When leaders speak, act, and inspire around the quintessential values or mission — the results are powerfully positive.
Great post. I missed the last couple of the alphabet. Glad I caught this one!
Kate
Kate,
You always give me something to think about. Thank you.
I can see you calling out the guy who was using questions as a roadblock… you are so shy and all 😉
Thanks for the tip on keeping questions short. I’m taking that one to the bank. Maybe it’s the quintessential truth about good questions.
Your participation in these discussions encourages me and LF readers.
Dan
Kate writes a great customer service blogs at: http://katenasser.com/articles/
Covey wrote “Seek first to understand.” Powerful questions lead to clarity, alignment, and often new discovery. Dan and the community nailed this one!
Mark,
I’m with you. The conversation is enlightening!
Best to you,
Dan
Mark writes a thought provoking blog at: http://fastgrowth.biz/blog
Hi, Dan!
Another good one. Asking questions to help guide people to their own conclusions is important. Using the socratic method helps people to examine their own underlying assumptions, rather than just blurting out the most convenient answer, or the one that’s been developed through their own personal heuristics.
Ankit Patel discusses the Socratic approach in an older post on his blog (http://www.theleanwayconsulting.com/2010/05/socratic-method.html), and Paul Cary of Vibco also discusses the role of the Questioning Sensei in the LeanRI blog (http://www.leanri.org/2010/07/one-thing-sensei-should-always-try-to.html)
David,
As always you bring value to the conversation. Thank you for leaving useful links that expand, extend, and enhance the conversation.
You neglected to mention your own blog at: http://myflexiblepencil.com/
And although it’s not on the topic of questions I think your “Change Management and the 5S Framework” is a truly useful post.
http://myflexiblepencil.com/2010/07/12/change-management-and-the-5s-framework/
Dan, from a life coaching perspective, questions are invaluable. They are the tools of the trade. On the flipside, here’s what I think of answers:
Answers are good because they answer our questions.
Answers are bad because they answer our questions (and we stop questionning).
Nice post.
Scott,
Thanks for coming back and thanks for the good word.
You made me think about the idea that an answer is the end of thinking. I think that’s a De Bono quote.
Best to you,
Dan
Scott blogs at: http://www.servingstrong.typepad.com/
I enjoyed Huda’s comment and am guilty of having asked unauthentic (not necessarily manipulative) questions myself. In business school, we learn ‘techniques’ to be more polite, engaging, and interesting – but that can backfire. I recently talked to a neighbor who is a car salesman and he, over the course of two days, asked me many questions; too many questions. The conversation ‘lost honesty’ and he ‘exercised authority’ over me leaving ‘no window for useful insight’. Asking too many questions might be a sign of being self-absorbed as well.
WDYWFT,
Shazaam!
Love the statement, “he exercised authority” using questions. I’ll admit that I’ve used questions to control conversations. You really nailed it.
Thanks for stopping in and adding value,
Dan
WDYWFT’s blog site: http://wdywft.wordpress.com/
Imagine if a physician were to hear a single symptom and tell you that he wanted to perform surgery, without even running tests or diagnosing the problem. Most of us would say that was malpractice. Yet, we often do that in a consulting or sales environment. We often get excite, take short cuts and begin to tell prospects or clients how we can fix them. Many times, we are off the mark and may never get another chance to diagnose the real problems.
I think Huda was correct when commenting on leading to a specific conclusion. Properly done, the questioning should lead to a conclusion that was not obvious before the probing.
When we take time to ask proper questions, we show a genuine caring of the problems. We will then be more trustworthy to any prospects or clients. All things being equal, people will do business with people they trust. Even when things are not equal, they are looking to do business with people they trust.
Marty,
Super illustration that drives home the importance of questions. I’m going to remember that one.
Cheers,
Dan
Marty’s blog: http://advantaquest.com/
I cannot quarrel with ‘questions’ for Q, although have always championed a Quixotic philosophy…something about the leadership quest of tilting at windmills that is very noble and the quality thing to do.
So, experts in questioning. other than Socrates…Columbo’s approach was always insightful, start general, open-ended, build rapport and then seek to clarify gaps and nail ’em.
Miller & Rollnick’s Motivational Inteviewing technique is based on respectful questioning to help identify change options and resistance issues as you noted Dan. Very effective tool for leaders to plant seeds of change.
Quippingly…from Scott Adams, “If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions?”
Yay Doc thank you for bringing up Scott admas, I sometimes feel guilty indulging in his cynicism, but you can not deny his brilliance. Unfortunately too mny deny his truth. Richard
If it is any consolation Richard, I think Adams, from time to time still is facing the same issues he draws and writes about. He has to be. His perspective is far too timely to not still have to deal with the Dilbertitude of the world.
Dan, how did we leave out Humor when we did the ‘H’????
Doc,
Maybe we left out “H”umor because we are like fish in water. The humor is everywhere like water and we don’t even see it. It’s just there.
Hahaha,
Dan
Hey Doc,
As I write this series of posts I anticipate reading your comments. Love how you keep working the letter of the day in.
I had to read your Scott Adams quote to my wife. We both cracked up.
Thanks for adding content, interest, and useful information to the LF community.
Queep your Quoments Quoming,
Dan
Doc is a featured contributor of the LF blog: Read his bio at: http://leadershipfreak.wordpress.com/featured-contributors/
Hi Dan, the question you asked 4 motnhs ago chnaged my life – and you didn’t say anything!
an example is a question – just very well disguised.
i love your intellignet and thoughful followers, such good discusion on this one.
I love the quotes you offered up here as well. i think my first comment to you included the quote of someone i ccan’t remember – I’m so stupid I’m brilliant.
both questions and answers can kill conversation, stop growth , innovation and freedom and put a barrier in front of the very best ideas and intentions.
Few things are worth anything if we don’t care for the audience and measure our communication in that context.
From Antwerpen i say – may we meet soon (although we already have!)
Richard
Richard,
Wonderful seeing you. I know your life is changing and you haven’t been able to comment as frequently as usual. I miss you but I also understand life’s pressures.
I love how you share your own experiences in authentic language.
You are so right! Questions or answers without respect for those being spoken to actually hinder connection. Well said.
All the best to you and your family,
Dan
Richard is another featured contributor on the LF blog. See a picture of he and his two daughters at: http://leadershipfreak.wordpress.com/featured-contributors/