Life grows cold when you feel alone.
Find someone who keeps you warm.
Relationships make or break us.
Everyone grows, develops, and succeeds in the context of relationship.
Feeling alone comes from choosing the cold.
- Devaluing the centrality of relationships.
- Refusing to help or support others. Stop expecting everyone to adapt to you. Adapt to others.
- Pulling away and closing out. You’ve chosen safety over relationship. Walls propagate the cold.
- Arrogantly believing everything depends on you.
“If you lie down with dogs, you will get up with fleas.”
But here’s another, opposite, proverb:
“Two people lying close together can keep each other warm. But how can one be warm alone?”
Nothing is colder than feeling alone. Find someone to lie down with, but don’t choose a dog with fleas.
Lie with those who:
- Aren’t like you.
- Kick people in the pants. Apathy is easy.
- Speak and act humbly.
- Push for excellence and give second chances. Look for compassion not mediocrity.
- Share their journey. Do they share personal stories of success and failure? How do they talk about their mistakes? Don’t lie with fakers.
- Give of themselves.
- Speak with candor. Those who say what you want to hear are driven by self-interest.
- Dream for themselves and others.
- Energize rather than drain.
- Earn your respect and respect you.
Bonus: Lie with those who receive as well as give.
Leaders on their own are individual contributors,
doomed to fail.
- Make relationship building a priority.
- Choose to fuel fires. Be a person who energizes others. Like Bob Burg says, “Be a go-giver.”
- Choose to open yourself to others. Some will step in. A few will lie down. All warm relationships require vulnerability.
Why is it hard for leaders to build sustaining relationships?
How must leaders change in order for them to enjoy heat-making relationships?
Great post. Sometimes the relationships w the shaggy dogs are the most fulfilling. They seldom have fleas.
Great great great post Dan!!!!!
My experience is what I have learned in living the principles in AA is the ONLY way to keep what I have is to give it away.
My opinion of Leadership is leading by example, getting my own house in order to be able serve others. I grow to serve you. Period. What I am getting at is leading my own life doing my Higher Powers will, the next right thing right in front of me is Supreme Leadership. In my opinion.
That ought to be worth about 5 thumbs down!!!!! Lol. Still working towards a 10 thumbs down day!!!!! Hehe
The GREAT thing about the way HP set up the AA program for living is the ONLY way to keep it is to give it away. ONLY WAY
Successful fulfilling living translates to work too does it not? There is no separation.
The ONLY way for me to keep what I have in my work life is to give it away. True purpose fulfilled in my experience can only be had in this way.
Why I work the Steps today is to be prepared to have something to give to the next person HP uses me to help. I do that and they come and I give and it is AMAZING. AMAZING
Wish everyone clearly understood what this stuff is all about. It is not about not drinking, drugging, overeating, over gambling, basically being obsessed about anything but loving and serving God’s other kids. The dealio is about the solution, not the symptom.
Yeah no way I slice it that is what Leadership is all about for me.
By the way one of the buzzwords of Leadership I have seen a lot lately is transparency. Anyone reading this blog believe in the transparency thingy?
Anyone intrigued at all….free on YouTube a ton about this program for living and how it has worked for people. Odomtology on YouTube and just click and listen to any if those speakers.
Why not go out of the box and stretch and spend an hour listening to something different? What you got to lose except not knowing what you don’t know about something? Is that a bad thing? Learning something new? Is not learning Leadership?
Tara B and Matthew M are two especially powerful examples of what I am talking about.
Ok downthumbers get busy!!!! Maybe today is the day I get to 10!!!!! Lol
Scott Powell, I am intrigued, impressed, and inspired that you share the importance of your faith as it applies to leadership, and quite frankly every part of our lives. I am in agreement that ‘nothing’ provides the total satisfaction of helping others, “with NO alterior motive”. Most might say that by being transparent, one show’s his weakness. I am not one of those people. As a matter of fact, I feel just the opposite. Being transparent shows others your honest, human, humblel, and that you got trust in those which you are sharing your shortcomings with. Which only inspire’s them to open up and share thier weaknesses and challenges with you, leading to positive relationships. “I believe you could refer to this as KEEP’N IT REAL”! Hard to find these days. Have a great day Scott…
You know Sarge before I read what you wrote I was gonna comment on your post! Lol
As I read what you wrote I was thinking(yep dangerous) this guy is writing what I think!!!!! This guy gets it!!!
Then just read what you wrote commenting on what I wrote.
Cannot thank you enough. How better Sarge could I show the folks reading this blog what it looks like when two people who have the why’s connected sounds like.
I believe what you believe. Respect
I hope you go a step farther Sarge, hope you go to youtube and see what Simon Sinek says about people and business. Think it is about 34 minutes.
If you do please let me know what you think.
Think you will discover Simon puts lots of what you and I believe into words. Plus it is biological. When people communicate from why it is from the limbic portion of their brain. Google it, I am not making it up for goodness sakes. That is why when you communicate with a person who believes what you believe you think, man that guy gets it!
It might not be “it” but it is what both of you feel it is. Make sense?
Anyway I don’t drink but if you must do-sock-ezz my friend!
If I do ever drink again and end up in prison hope I am in the corrections facility you are working at. We can have some great discussions, right!!!!
Hey join me and Simon, we are changing the world inspiring one person at a time.
Enough of all that 80’s stuff, you know working from the outside in!!!! So backwards and SO 80’s!!!!!!
Building relationships is important to the success of any work environment, and I found that to be especially true at all levels in schools. But we must remember to tap into those relationships when we are struggling with too much to do, projects that challenge us, changes that we must lead, etc. We often hunker down and close out others when we are stressed just at the time we need those people most to give us a hand, a fresh perspective, a new idea… But why build relationships just in our work world? They work for us in every aspect of our life… personal, civic, church, etc. By all means, share the journey, but keep in mind Jim Collins’ advice to ‘put the right people in the right seats on the bus’… and that journey will be so much better!
Hey Vicki check out Khan Academy if you want to see what’s next in education!!!! It is AMAZING! Bill Gates thinks so he gave Khan 150 million for starters to move forward what they are doing.
It is clearly what is next in education! How cool is dat?
Great post! Difficulty here is that we are asking leaders (generally strong personalities) to be vulnerable. “Drop those insecurity walls”, “Unlock your emotional doors”, “Leave your boss/owner weapons outside”, “Make yourself equal”. Eeek!!!
Of course when this happens, we actually listen (take in) what people are saying and allow trust, respect, team building and all those other good things to grow, but….. well…time to read your whinning post again.
Good morning Dan! ‘Nothing is colder than being alone’ did not strike me as the usual title to your leadership blog. Till I read on. There are many in my line of work, (Corrections), that just don’t subscribe/agree with your blog,refering to it as, “too much touchy feely talk”. Yet with thier next breath they go on to say “we just aren’t treated properly, or, no one respects or appreciates what we do, why doesn’t Managment do more to cultivate better ‘QUALITY LEADERS”. I could go on and on. Funny, all these comments and observations sound alot like “touchy feely talk”. The truth is, to be successful in any buisiness you had better recognize that your people are your first customers that ‘must be pleased’ if you want your organization to be it’s best. It’s not ‘touchy feely’, it’s simply the good judgement, common sence approach that make you a Fortune 500 Company as opposed to one that’s closing there doors forever. It’s not rocket science, it’s how you run a successful buisiness, truth isw, “it’s how you live a happy and productive life, PERIOD”! Thanks again Dan, stay thirsty my friend…
Wonderful Post Dan.
In one word TRUE
Life grows cold when you feel alone.
Find someone who keeps you warm.
Love this post Dan. It’s applicable to your social life as well. You seem to write stuff, possible solutions for my problems when I most need them. Spot on!