Facing the “F” Word in Leadership
I asked a world famous leader about frailty and leadership. He looked at me like I had ten heads. I felt embarrassed to have used the “F” word – frailty.
Leaders who changed the world like Gandhi and Jesus had frailties.
Frailty and strength live together.
One does not eliminate the other.
Mask-wearing is propagated by leaders who pretend they’re more than they are and followers who like it that way. Masks indicate:
- Frailties. Masks are for hiding, protecting, and pretending.
- Hypocrisy. Mask-wearing cultures need hypocrisy. Weak followers need “perfect” leaders to take responsibility for them. (See, “Whose Your Daddy”) Never trust anyone who does everything well.
- Authority is unbalanced. Mask-wearing leaders use authority and its associated trappings to hide frailties. In time, some come to believe they’re who they pretend to be.
The more you reject your frailties the more
you reject help and resent competence in others.
Example of frailty:
Jesus said to three of his followers, “I’m so sad, I think I might die. Stay awake with me.” (Paraphrased from Matthew 26:38)
- Share progress. Let others know your frailties by telling them about struggles you’ve faced, progress you’ve made or ways you’re mitigating them.
- Focus on strengths; acknowledge frailties. Whiners use frailties as excuses for poor performance.
- Transparency isn’t complete openness. The world, business, and leadership aren’t a hand-holding self-help group.
- Reveal what’s useful. Frailties, shared well, encourage. Poorly shared frailties discourage.
- Let others in. Frailties make room for the strengths of others.
- Share some frailties with a select few, not the masses. Don’t excuse, temper, or let it all out to everyone.
- Maintain optimism and confidence. Frailties aren’t an excuse to become a cry baby.
What benefits might emerge from sharing frailties? What dangers?
Check out the great list of leadership F’s on the Leadership Freak Facebook Page. While you’re there, add leadership G’s for tomorrow’s post.
Said it before, will say it again, I can’t transmit what I do not have.
Being human at times I am frail, if I am being authentic with others and not sharing this part of myself I am a Fraud. People do not build Relationships with such people to the point trust emerges.
Benefits of not being a fraud? Character, Integrity, Trust, Loyalty, Love all great stuff.
Here is a great F word……Frisson-means shiver, shudder, thrill.
Can happen for you IF you open your mind and do not have contempt prior to investigation, SO MANY DO! Closer than you might think.
I was in AWE just yesterday watching a story, qualifications if you will of a Leader.
Took over a failing 20 million dollar company. Turned it around to a 1.5 Billion dollar company. Harvard Business School actually went and did a case study trying to understand how this Leader did this. Good enough for Harvard, hmm interesting.
Did a public offering in London, hoping to get a couple million in capital. End of one day had loans paid up and 28 million in the bank.
Went thru economic downturn 08 09 like the rest of us. Lost 35% of their business. Had 7000 employees and Financial team tells him he needs to cut workforce back to meet the amount of business they have. What’s he do?
Instead THIS LEADER did not lay off ONE PERSON. Found ways to cut bonuses and 401K contributions to the tune of 20 million dollars. NOT ONE PERSON LAYED OFF.
Business picked up again and BOOM! The loyalty built with workforce because of this Leaders Love for his PEOPLE, TEAM MEMBERS they have a 72% Team Member Love Their Job RATE!
Other leaders with other qualifications 70% employees hate their jobs. Go ahead keep following them if you wish.
Yeah Truly Human Leadership—-check that out if you want some Frisson.
Then I found out they have a program on this video called From Our Hearts to Your Hands. Employees contribute their money to a fund to help employees that have troubles. Fella has his daughter get burned in an accident and this program is THIS company LED by THIS LEADER had money to help this Team Member help his daughter. What Leaders company you following has a program put together by the company like that?
And oh yeah, Warren Buffet, Gold Standard Money Dude. His stock over the last 10 years 4% dividend. This company with this Leaders Qualifications……15%.
So making money AND Team Members love their jobs.
Now think REAL hard and answer this question: what other company do you know in the WORLD do you know with these qualifications?
Right, NONE just like me, know of no other company with RESULTS like these in the last 10 years.
So what now? I hope you do not choose to be fugacious(to run away or flee) from these facts.
I hope you are fascinated and want to know more.
Truly Human Leadership is a Beautiful thing and if you want to know more……….simply google youtube Bob Chapman Defining Moments
Promise it will be a better use of your time than regurgitating info from the folks who have given use Leadership info whose results are 70% employee disengagement.
You are 1 hour and 9 minutes away from Shifting your Leadership Paradigm….if you wanna.
I Concur with Truly Human Leadership.
Shifterp back in!
Dropping F bombs this early? That shouldn’t be done till at least 19 cups of coffee! embarrassment and frailty in one post? Great thoughts. Its “Freak” ishly painful to not be this superhero god whom all should bow before. It is truly better to be a frailty leader than to have to live up to that. Great post. Enjoy the weekend!
Nice post Dan;
Speaking of “F” bombs, what’s your stance on Fear? Seems to play a key role into how we do and don’t display courage, don’t you think? I’ll think about your advise to reveal what is useful – I advise clients to share what needs to be shared to create context and engender trust. But “useful” is just a word I suppose. I bristle at the notion of using frailties as a manipulation, and “useful” sounds like trying to turn a liability into an opportunity. I think that’s true, but the opportunity might just be dropping the crap and speaking truth.
“hand-holding self-help group” I shudder to think what Scott might say?
I agree with Jim Morris “dropping the crap and speaking truth.” Jo
Yo Jo, no need to shutter, just ask.
I am not sure exactly what you meant but no biggie.
Ok my Truth, so you do not have to wonder. In. the decades I have studied Leadership and human behavior I can’t say I have run across anything like what Bob Chapman is doing at Barry Wehmiller.
Truth, fact, no crap, gallop poll 70% of American employees hate their jobs.
Truth, fact, no crap Barry Wehmiller Team Members 72% love their jobs.
So it is interesting to me here a blog about Leadership more folks here are not curious about how in the world a Leader gets a 180 degree different result working with people in a business?
How is it possible that is not what Leaders are hungering to find out more about? There is a video where he explains what and how he is doing what he has done! How is it possible Leaders don’t want to SEE?
So hey Jo, you ever want to know anything from me, about me….anything….I offer you a friendly open place to ask.
Just doing the best I can in every way, everyday to find, share, implement what works better for everyone.
70% disengaged is the crap
72% love their jobs TRUTH
Now think long and hard before you decide your opinion disagrees withy opinion of the Truth. If you disagree you are saying you own and love and want that 70% disengaged is acceptable and 72% of team members loving their jobs is not.
Agree with me or not I will stand by my passion to try my best what I have found that might help folks do better.
More specifically Any person saying transparency is somehow different at work and or business than in their personal relationships is a knuckle dragging mouth breathing idiot!!! Lol
There is no separation!!!!!! Who I am in my work life and who I am in
my personal life, the SAME dude! All my relationships are personal! At least they are to me. You?
Anyone proposing any difference is a person not to be listened to. Or do, your choices are all up to you! Make um!!!!
Just my opinion, Doesn’t mean I am right or wrong or u are, if your opinion is different. Different just means different, google it and read the definition on Wikipedia !!
No ill will intended, just passionate about what I believe!
Hey Jo have a great day!
I wasn’t criticising. I only meant the self help group reference. In Australia many bosses either are in AA or they adhere to the principles. They employ AA members and support them.
I agree with you. I got the movie you sent me and I definitely think that the 12 steps are the way to go.
I am not saying anyone is right or wrong at all!
I listen to everybody. Sorry if I upset you in anyway.
Did you realise that I work in rehabs and have a really good handle on the steps.
So I think I better be more specific. People who say that business is not a hand holding self support group may not realise that in some places the boss encourages AA and talks with employees using that language.
Viva he who thinks to each his own.
Have a peaceful week. Jo
Reblogged this on IAm Synt.
I can’t write what I want now. Don’t feel like it. But what you are referring too is being Transparent. I took the position in my Master Degree program that leaders especially, in many Black Churches can’t be transparent because it let the cracks of their character be known and vulnerable. People are always looking to attack a person from their vulnerabilities. Would say more but the bottom line is a compentent leader must keep some skeletons in the closet.
Fault. people who never, never, ever admit any fault but blame others, so they can feel superior, refusing to admit there is a problem, they are responsible for demage, they don’t have to deal with a problem, change and grow up. and that means also accepting that people around has worked hard and has improved and they are no more inferior.
leadership is about superiority(I will follow someone who can help me becoming what i want to become), if the leader isn’t superior, he must a) work harder than anyone else or b) connecting with people at the same level, that’s partnership, not leadership or c) fake superiority/diminish others, which seems easier at first.
the problem is, any leader can’t lead everyone evrywhere, trying to lead someone you have nothing good to give them forces the leader to be insincere and severe.
but why so many people want to be leader even if they cant lead for good, in the first place? unfortunately our society rewards heavily power positions where is easy to fall Fault at someone else. but is it power, money, social recognition the same thing as leadership?