3 Ways to be the One Others Love on their Team
Frustration with people must be the number one frustration in organizational life. Wrong teammates distract, drain, and hobble.
People, not work, make organizational life misery or joy.
Success on teams often determines career success. But, it takes more than technical competence to succeed on teams.
3 essentials for success:
#1. Love learning. Those who can’t be wrong can’t learn. How good are you at admitting mistakes and moving forward?
Success is transitory for those who hide mistakes.
Everyone who says, “I’m learning,” confesses they’ve been screwing up or falling short.
Love learning by:
- Withholding judgement.
- Exploring.
- Taking another’s perspective.
#2. Invite feedback. Receiving and learning from feedback is good, even if it is rare. Seeking feedback is extraordinary. When was the last time you asked,
- What am I doing to make your job more difficult?
- How am I hindering our team?
- What am I doing that gets in the way of my own success?
I asked a trusted friend to give me feedback. He said, “You’re too black and white. You put people in the awkward position of being on the right side or the wrong side.”
His feedback is hard to hear. I prefer to think of myself as confident, not being black and white. I view myself as a pussy cat. But, he’s right and it’s transforming the way I approach challenging topics and difficult situations.
The first response to all feedback is always the same, “Thank you.”
#3. Develop relationships. How successful are you at developing new relationships. “Works well with others,” isn’t enough. Are you taking relationship-initiative?
Consider:
- Helping someone on their pet project.
- Mentor/mentee connections.
- Social interactions outside work.
Challenge:
Those who succeed on teams go further than lone-ranger types.
What if you’re the one making others miserable?
What are you doing to work on work relationships?
What qualities are essential for success on teams?
I think that the love for learning is crucial. It keeps your mind young, irrespective of your age. It keeps you relevant
Thanks Rajiv. If I had to choose one quality in a person on the team, it would be loves learning. MOst of the other stuff falls in line. I suppose the exception to that is trustworthiness/integrity/honesty, may be an exception.
Dear Dan,
It is true that people make life miserable not work. Few weeks before one of my friend was working in the corporate office in human resource department. He was honestly engaged into his work and less tend to engage to other activities. Many people used to engage to gossiping and boondoggling activities. He used to keep away from those activities. One day when he interacted with the management, he suggested to be more communicative. He could not understand what is the meaning of communicative. Whether engaging into frivolous activities is communicative or doing duty honestly was communicative.
After one year, when he could not get promotion, someone came to counsel him. He tried to convince him but it came out clearly that management needed information and rumor related news about others where my friend failed to do so. Finally, he came to know, he can not change the perception of the people. He decided to take posting in field . Now he is working more than working in head office. Sometimes he become tired, but he is happy. He has direction and knows that things are based on performance. Though influencing factors are also active here, but in day to day activities, he does not need to act in a way to impress someone.
Taking clues from your concept of ‘people initiative’ and relationship initiative, I think, leaders should focus primarily on performance and initiate relationship with the employees. They should refrain from activities that do not contribute to healthy relationship with the people.
Thanks Dr. Gupta. Love the story. It really shows the power of relationships as it relates to our satisfaction. You also remind me that people usually don’t leave organizations. They leave bosses.
Don’t stop learning and never stop Loving works for me! Most important to remember is you have choices, do what you know is right, when in doubt seek help!
Thanks Tim. Yes, love the little tag on the end… when in doubt seek help!! 🙂
It’s also important to listen. A tip that I once heard was to restate what you heard and ask for clarification. For example, “So what you are saying is ____. Is that right?”
The professional life is mix of the people and organisational perception. There is no dearth of people who create the wrong perception about their peers for their own benefit. As far as feedback is concerned it is alright, however this feedback sometimes becomes a big talk in the group and people start assuming the feedback as a negative sentiments. I am on the same page with you that we shall always love learning and shall also develop relationship. developing relationship in today’s fast moving world is known as networking,. If you want to create a right impression about yourself, if you want to get promoted, if you want to live a comfortable life in the organisation, you should network with your bosses and supervisors. But let me ask one question, what about those people who are good at work but not so good on network, which way organisation should deal with those kind of people. It is observed that in many cases, some people become blue eyed boy of the bosses, because they are always searching for the opportunities when they can please their bosses. It is observed that many a times people in the organisation go to their bosses, asking for suggestion for frivolous and petty things, they,l themselves know the solutions, but they want to give the opportunity to their bosses to provide the solution so that their bosses are happy. Is right ?. This is one part , many a times many capable people are ignored in the organisation, only because they are capable and they are in a position to find the solution for the problem. My thinking may be little bit idealistic but I can’t help.
Thanks Melissa. Great add. It’s pretty hard to connect apart from listening. Cheers
Don’t assume that when you are finished with your task that you are finished, Help others even if it seems below you.
Get out of the way and let people do their job even if it is to watch them fail. (of course make suggestions if they receive that great but…)
Don’t act like you know it all.
Thanks kymeem. I’d add something but I don’t want to act like I know it all. 🙂
Seriously, that first is great. I can see in my mind, teammates going home while someone works late… downer. But, I can see another image in my mind, where the team works late together. I realize that schedules don’t always allow this, but I like the sentiment.
Of course you do know it all, That is why I read what you have to say daily.
Keep them coming.
Kymee
I always go back to the idea of caring. People notice people who care about what they’re doing. Not the fanatics, not the over-achievers, not the brown-nosers. But people who genuinely care. The good thing is that it is a choice. But it can also be encouraged and nurtured.
I was just writing about this topic. I called it “What if I didn’t Care?” You might enjoy it.
http://intothechange.wordpress.com/2014/07/17/what-if-i-didnt-care/
Thanks for another good thought-provoking post.
Thanks Joe. When people don’t care, they are just going through the motions. They disrespect themselves, others, and the organization. You got me thinking. Much appreciated.
Nice article and very true, particularly important when going through organization changes. Others need to know that you care first before you tell them what you know. There are elements of Covey’s 7 habits in the article related to the “emotional bank account”.
Thanks James. Change gives the behaviors we expect of each other even more urgency and value. Powerful and challenging.
Thanks for bringing up Covey’s work. His stuff is great.