7 Ways to Succeed at Telling People What to Do
Being told what to do eliminates ambiguity, uncertainty, and confusion.
When I travel, I’m often told where to go, who to meet, what time to be there. Before going on stage, for example, someone pulls back the curtain and tells me when to step out.
There’s freedom in being told what to do.
5 benefits of being told what to do:
- Freedom from worry that you’re missing something.
- Confidence to act with boldness.
- Focus for energy to do what matters.
- Liberation of your strength.
- Clarity for your mind.
7 ways to tell people what to do:
- Agree on the destination. It’s frustrating to be told what to do when their goal isn’t yours.
- Understand people. It doesn’t matter what you tell others to do if they can’t do it.
- Build teams who love to do what needs to be done, then tell them to do it.
- Tell people to do more of what they love.
- Tell people what to do so they can participate in something bigger than themselves.
- Remove barriers and obstacles. Make it easier for people to do what they love to do.
- Surround yourself with people who love to do what you hate to do. Remember that the people who love doing what you hate may rub you the wrong way. Diversity takes you further than uniformity.
Bonus: Ask people how they like to be told what to do. Adapt.
What is the wrong way to tell people what to do?
How can leaders create freedom and energy by telling people what to do?
All true. I like being told what to do when the ‘teller’ has my best interest at heart. It makes me feel like they’ve got my back, I feel more secure and deepens my relationship with them. Of course, it goes both ways and I try to support others the same way too. Thanks for the post, Dan. It really resonated with me.
Thanks Laurie. Your first sentence says it all.
This is a thought provoking post. I have to watch out telling people, “I need you to ….” I have discovered that it can come across quite demeaning. I have had more success when I ask instead of tell. For example, I might say something like, “Could you give me the analysis by today at 4:00?” This is much softer than “I need.” We all need to be more sensitive to how people respond to certain types of language and requests. Thanks Dan!
Thanks John. I really like your thoughts about tone. I think we go wrong when we confuse a soft tone with lack of clarity.
“I need…” is bad communication. It is a self-serving statement. “Could you…” Implies ability and is optional. “Will you…” or “Please…” are much better and centered on the attitudes of bothe the speaker and the receiver.
Number 7 is important. We often stay in the same crowd or industry or social class as everyone else. Not knowing that someone loves doing what you hate to do, or they may get you to see another side of something you hate ..and maybe you wont hate it so much anymore. –
-http://stylesocietyguyblog.com/
If you can find things people want to do, you’ll barely have to tell them what to do. If you can get them on board and keep them there, they’ll tell YOU what THEY want to be told to do!
If YOU are doing what you want your team or organization to do, you can simply lead by example.
When reading your post it made me think of the swing big band I play in. Every musician wants what is best musically for the ensemble, and everyone has input at some point, but the leader calls the shots.
The exec meeting in the boardroom is pretty much the same, just a different kind of show.
The only concern this raises for me is that when there is less than great congruence or it is done in such a way to be excessive or overly detailed, it can meld into being perceived as bossy or micromanaging or even “constructive criticism” if there is some perceived corrective aspect to it.
One can become oversensitive to this kind of thing if one is being constantly told what to do and how to do it or if that support always contains an element of “I’m doing this only because I want to help you do things better.”
In good teams or in high trust situations, this can work well. Where there are some negative or overly-sensitive frameworks associated with getting “the advice,” then it can create problems.
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Thanks Dan for the great inspiration
… and they promote the mental agility of thought. 😉
I think sometimes the intelligence of the unconscious – advantageous
– Yes – is very good.
It has finally not always have the time – to analyze and weigh everything.
Many good ideas are just spontaneous.
When we trust ourselves, which is often a good solution or supplement.
Experience teaches us that there is often more possible than we first believe.
Courage and the spiritual freedom of the individual can deliver
amazing results, this is my experience.
Maybe enriches believe that something is possible – just the intended surprise.
Follow your heart.
… and connect it with their lucid mind.
We can all, if we believe in ourselves and to others!
I think there is a limitless consciousness, which promotes us
and thus transformed when we are challenged.
<3 Love is creative power. The will moves …
Best greetings Beate
Supplement …
“At the intuition is no way around -without them we would bring into being little …!
Two recommendations – of award-winning nonfiction:
“Gut decisions: The Intelligence of the Unconscious”
and “Risk: How to make the right decisions” – by Gerd Gigerenzer
“Man only plays when he is a man in the full sense of the word,
and he is only completely human when he plays!”
by Friedrich Schiller
Who hates himself, which we have to fear, for we will be the victims of his resentment
and his revenge. So let’s look at how we seduce him to love yourself!
by Friedrich Nietzsche
As always Dan, another thought provoking leadership approach. I’m often working with leaders to move out of “telling” and more into enabling and coaching. You’re so correct that there are important times to tell people what to do and I like that you’ve given structure and information on the right approach. My faves are #3 and #4!!
Excellent pointers, am forwarding this to all the leaders on my team as well!