How to Deal with Honest Self-Deception
You know when you deceive others, but you deceive yourself with a clear conscience.
Self-deception feels like honesty.
You beat yourself up when you should encourage yourself. Or, you let yourself off too easily. Don’t feel bad. It’s natural.
Self-reflection requires honesty.
7 Signs of self-deception:
- You’re always wrong. Everyone else is smarter and more talented.
- You’re always right. You don’t intentionally choose wrong. Who does? Of course you’re right.
- You deserve better. Self-justification blocks useful self-reflection. Employees pilfer because the company or boss has done them wrong. They deserve it.
- Defensiveness. Strong reaction to small disagreements, correction, or resistance points to self-deception.
- Blame. It’s always their fault. Self-help doesn’t work if everyone else needs the help.
- Entitlement. You deserve special treatment because you’re the boss.
- Martyrdom. No one cares as much or works as hard as you.
- Would you like to be your friend? Every once in awhile, my wife treats me like I’m treating her. I don’t like it.
- Reflect on your behaviors with values in mind, not other people. Self-reflection, that’s mostly about others, is self-deception.
- What does your controlling attitude say about you?
- Consider the opportunities of your weaknesses.
- Ask others what behaviors hold you back. A person who never sabotages herself has arrived. Chances are you haven’t.
- Explore the possibility that you’re wrong, if you’re the person who always feels right.
- Explore the possibility that you’re right, if you’re the person who always feels wrong.
- Explore the possibility that you’re partially right and partially wrong.
- Listen to frustrations. What do recurring frustrations say about you?
- What did you do yesterday that moved you toward greater service and fulfillment?
- Why, at the end of the day, do you wonder what you did all day?
- How are you moving toward personal goals? Honest self-reflection requires goals.
How might leaders deal with self-deception?
How might leaders move toward honest self-reflection?