The 10 Practices of Coaching-Leaders Pt. 2
You’re a jerk-leader if you aren’t passionate about developing people.
Develop your coaching skills in order to effectively develop people.
The ten practices of coaching-leaders pt. 2:
#4. Cling to forward-facing curiosity. If you aren’t curious, you can’t coach. Therapists and counselors may dig into the past, but coaches focus primarily on behaviors in the present.
- Coaching concerns itself with present behaviors that produce long-term change. The distant future is a compass, but the only thing that changes the future is what you do today.
- Inquire about the past to help coachees gain perspective on the present.
- Forward-facing curiosity asks about the past to improve the near future.
- What did you do to accomplish your goal?
- How did it work?
- What did you learn?
- What did you learn about yourself?
- What would you like to try next time?
- Practice active listening, but mostly just talk less.
Few things hinder coaching more than trying to change something that can’t be changed like the past, for example.
#5. Engage in calm listening. Inner agitation suggests you’ve stopped listening and started fixing. Radically improve listening by calming your spirit.
- Slow your breathing.
- Transfer ownership of problems and solutions to coachees.
- Remind yourself that the solution they own is better than one you give. (Even if it isn’t quite as good.)
#6. Provide vulnerable reflections. Say things others are afraid to say. Compassionately let coachees know what you and others really see.
- Be willing to compassionately offend in order to address tough issues.
- Reveal your own struggles when it enhances connection and affirms their journey. But remember that coaching is about them, not you. Avoid one-upmanship like bad breath.
- Confess confusion, when you don’t understand something. “You lost me.”
- Make observations about apparent inconsistencies, even if it stings.
Which coaching practice do you find most challenging? How do you address those challenges?
What coaching practices might you add to the list?
Part 1: The 10 Practices of Coaching-Leaders
Part 3: The 10 Practices of Coaching-Leaders
Loved the opening sentence!… Great reminders that there are always many ways to get from Point A to Point B and even though it may not be the best way or the path I may have taken when the “coachee” comes up with the plan it’s always a better option. When I think they may be missing something or there could be an easier way even though the outcome will be the same, I use open ended questions to ask the person “If you take that approach, how would you consider addressing XYZ scenario” or “if you take that approach don’t forget to consider xyz factors” so that I am not directing but getting them to think outside the box. I think pointing to past successes and also using past failures as learning opportunities is helpful to consider changes for the present,
I am so happy you came out with Part 2 to the Coach’s Playbook!! What a great gift to the coaching community Dan.
As a strong Type A / Engineer by Training one thing that I have to be very aware of when coaching is my own presence – great point you have highlighted here :
“Inner agitation suggests you’ve stopped listening and started fixing. Radically improve listening by calming your spirit”
I love to solve problems … 🙂
Thanks Dan. For mighty post.
Behavioural aspects are always first identified properties of coacheee.
Behaviour norms doesn’t affect performance path way from first day or more precisely it’s belong to old die hard habits which forms character and finally become part of professional life and hamper progress In multiple ways.
From here feedback mechanism starts and world of opinions takes place like This is bad or good. Fun is that opinion given by those guys who don’t want to correct situation.
Such instances Leads to criss cross situations. Environment leads to poor productivity and devalued culture. So
coaching = feedback+character of coachee+ current habbits+ role of immediate boss+opinion of colleagues within department and —- is environment right for coaching= then right performance can be expected.
Coaching is now courageous authenticity.
This one really got me when I read #5. “Inner agitation suggests you’ve stopped listening and started fixing.” Ouch! That felt like a poke with a sharp stick. I realize how often I do just that. I’m coming up with “solutions” before the other person stops talking. I have even been so anxious that I interrupt them…to “help” of course.
I’ve really got some work to do in this area. I appreciate your thoughts on this. Thanks!
I must say, I am in the midst of leadership training, and when I read these blog posts, it reaffirms for me, that I truly am on the right path. Your words speak directly to my spirt. I get it. I understand it. I naturally apply these philosophies you write about as if it were second nature.
I often question how I already know this stuff. Why it’s so familiar? I mean, I have had no prior leadership training. I find myself nodding with agreement as I read. And wonder why it’s so hard to find others who think the way you (and I) do.
I love reading your posts. Keep them coming.
Sent from my iPhone
#5 Engage in calm listening. Inner agitation suggests you’ve stopped listening and started fixing. Radically improve listening by calming your spirit. Resonates.
I work with colleagues and understand why they become agitated – I will often successfully steer a positive outcome; I’m seasoned.
How does one help a ‘green’ colleague learn to “breathe” learn to deal with a #5 personality?
Do you ever want to spare someone the stress; in the end it is an important coaching opportunity for them and without the experience of learning on their own it may not be educational.