7 Ways to Get What You Want
You don’t have what you want because you haven’t asked for it.
Fear of asking for what you want results in not getting what you want.
7 ways to get what you want:
#1. Ask for what you want.
Maybe you advocate for others, but can’t bring yourself to speak for yourself? Learn how to advocate for yourself by following the pattern you use to advocate for others. (Inspired by Adam Grant’s book “Give and Take”.)
Ask small. Ask to run a pilot program that aligns with big goals, for example.
Make your ask about others.
Ask for opportunities to add value.
Ask for help. Stop waiting for people to magically give you what you want. People enjoy helping. Something’s wrong with your approach if you’re always giving, but not receiving.
#2. Eliminate self-sabotage.
- Talk yourself ‘into’, not ‘out of’.
- Think of things you can do.
- Stop repeating good behaviors that yield disappointing results.
- Don’t think so much. Knock on a door and see what happens.
#3. Explore potential opportunities with weak ties, friends of friends, and relationships from the past.
#4. Help others get what they want. “You can have everything in life you want, if you will just help enough people get what they want.” Zig Ziglar
#5. Get real about what you want. Pursuit energizes. If you got what you wanted, you’d want something else. Fulfillment is more in pursuit than achievement.
If you aren’t sure what you want, go with a general idea.
#6. Prepare to hear, “No.” Tighten your belt. Don’t judge yourself. Adapt. Try again.
What would it take for you to enjoy doing what you’ve been putting off?
#7. Poor performance precedes good. You won’t be great at what you want until you’ve practiced it a lot.
Bonus: Read The Go-Giver by Bob Burg.
How do you get what you want?
Dan, Zig Ziglar’s quote is one of my favorites! It rates right up there with Winston Churchhill’s ‘never never never give up’. I may have left out a never!
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Thanks Mom. The context of Churchill’s quote makes a simple statement powerful. Cheers
Dan – this one made me stop and think – “Stop repeating good behaviors that yield disappointing results” – can you talk a little bit more about what you mean here?
Thanks Paige. My experience is that I choose to just put my head down and work harder when I’m not getting where I want to go. I’m learning to step back and ask if working harder is really the answer. Just the act of stepping back and taking a look at the situation is helpful for me.
We never intentionally choose ineffective behaviors, but we somehow end up doing them. We choose the behaviors we employ because we think they will work… they’re good behaviors. But, we need to stay open to the possibility that the behavior we think is good, may not be that good.
“What other behaviors might achieve the results you’re looking for?”
What do you think?
Wow Dan, that quote from Zig Ziglar should be on top of everybody’s bed indeed lol. It’s also amazing how people react to the word “NO”, for me this is where things start to get interesting 🙂
Can’t wait to read your next post!
Really good stuff Dan. All too often people are afraid to jump in with two feet and simply ask. As a sports junkie, there are important parallels for our personal and business lives.
The best athletes fail more than they win: Babe Ruth had a lifetime batting average of .342- this means two thirds of the time he made an out. Rejection and failure is part of our lives and not a personal rejection of us.
Courage comes from our moral compasses. Opportunities come by being honest, transparent, and potentially bringing value to others.
Great post. Lots to think about here. 🙂