5 Lies About Self-Confidence

The ability to drain self-confidence from others is a foolish leader’s talent.

“Nothing can be done without hope and confidence.” Helen Keller

confidence is a transfer of belief from one heart to another

Skillful leaders know how to inspire self-confidence in others.

5 Lies About self-confidence

Lie #1. Self-confidence prevents fear.

Confidence presses through fear. Leaders who have no fear are wildly overconfident, out of touch, or both.  I’ve been giving presentations since I was 16. I still get nervous before I speak to a group for the first time.

Lie #2. Self-confidence eliminates need of others.

Confidence happens in connection, not isolation.

Encouragement works because the opinions of others matter. I’ve watched self confidence go up right before my eyes. It happens when people feel others believe in them.

Confidence is a transfer of belief from one heart to another.

Lie #3. Self-confidence comes when you don’t fail.

Confident leaders know that falling short is necessary to achieve excellence. Confidence is best seen by learning and trying again, after falling short. 

The need to succeed without falling short produces insecurity.

Lie #4. Self-confidence exempts from sweat.

Excellence always takes work, usually more than you expect. Overconfidence shows up as lack of preparation.

A track record of incremental progress bolsters confidence.

Lie #5. Self-confidence is feeling smarter or more talented than others.

The need to feel superior is a sure sign of feeling inferior.

Confident leaders enjoy rubbing shoulders with people who are better than they are.

4 ways skillful leaders instill self-confidence in others:

  1. Help people create a track record of growth, progress, and incremental success. Confidence is more a matter of hard work than positive self-talk.
  2. Be an accountability partner. Make commitments to each other. Follow-through bolsters confidence. Inaction increases fear.
  3. Stand with people as they press through fear. Confidence comes after you press through fear, not before.
  4. Provide constructive feedback. Improvement fuels confidence – feedback fuels improvement.

How do leaders drain self-confidence from others?

What are you doing to infuse self-confidence in those around you?

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