How to be a Badass Without Becoming a Jerk-hole
You can’t succeed as a leader if your need to be liked exceeds your drive to achieve.
There are three options in the tension between results and relationships.
- Results without relationships. (Jerk-hole.)
- Results through relationships.
- Relationships without results. (Pushovers.)
My wife and I are watching Counterpart on TV. The main character is Howard Silk.
Howard is a nice guy who keeps his head down and does his job. He’s disciplined, kind, and loves his wife.
Howard, in episode one, is a pushover.
Howard meets a badass version of himself from another dimension. Badass-Howard kills without remorse. His wife hates him. Badass-Howard stands up for himself.
People-pleasers need a little more badassiness.
#1. Love goals. Badass Howard has little time for chitchat. He’s always thinking about getting the job done.
#2. Drive for results. Progress is nice, but badasses are like caged animals when it comes to results.
#3. Don’t need to be liked. A badass needs to get things done more than they need you to feel good about them.
#4. Walk on anyone who isn’t on board. Relationship building for badasses – if it exists – is about getting things done.
#5. Do hard things because they need to be done.
Tension between “drive for results” and “need to be liked” is your badass score. Badass scores less than 5 mean you’re a pushover. Scores higher than 8 indicate you’re a jerk-hole.
How to be a badass without becoming a jerk-hole:
- Value relationships.
- Develop goals that require courage. Stretch goals bring out your badassiness.
- Surround yourself with people who believe that results are more important than relationships, when the choice needs to be made.
- Work on bringing kindness and drive together.
- Need to be liked by a few people, not everyone.
What does a badass leader with heart look like?
How might people-pleasers develop a little badassiness?