Navigating People-Threats with Confidence
In nature the strong eat the weak. We live in a threatening world. Thankfully, no one is trying to eat you, at least literally.
Threats happen when:
- Competitors gain a foothold with your clients.
- Boundaries blur and colleagues intrude on your turf.
- Someone wants your job.
Malevolent people are bigger threats than difficult circumstances. The most dangerous people smile while they cut you down.
Navigating people-threats with confidence:
#1. Listen to what people say. Believe what they do.
Threat wants to be perceived as a friend. It approaches with a smile on its lips and a knife behind its back.
#2. Obsessing is natural. Don’t condemn yourself.
Fear demands attention. Before long all you see is fear and all you taste is bitter.
#3. Recurring thoughts are magnifiers.
The more you think about something, the bigger it gets. Yes, take threats seriously, but focus on solution-finding, not catastrophizing.
#4. Agreements aren’t solutions.
Negotiated agreements with a threat might help, but they don’t remove concerns. The enigma of Ronald Regan’s statement comes to mind. “Trust but verify.”
#5. Protecting yourself is only half the battle.
When threatened you tend to build walls to protect your turf. But the walls that keep others out, hold you in. The added question is how you will expand your boundaries and add more value to others.
#6. Reconnect with your best self.
Threat pushes you off center. You forget yourself. When you forget yourself, you are never your best self.
Never let a threat be an excuse to do things you can’t tell momma about.
#7. Grow through, don’t simply push through.
- How will you be a better person as a result of growing through a threat?
- What’s going to be different about you when this threat is over?
- How will you live up to your aspirational self today, not when this is over?
The above list is only a beginning. What suggestions do you have for succeeding when facing people-threats?
For sure Dan!
In the Business world everyone wants a piece of the pie, trying to keep the whole pie for oneself is a challenge. Years ago you devolped a client base, based on handshakes and trust, now days its 30 pages of gibberish and “a Lawyers convuleded segments of Gotcha’s ” that take the enjoyment out of doing business. They will threaten and punish you when we make a mistake, you have to fight, negotiate, beg to not lose your shirt and pants anymore, let alone turn a profit. The team aspects develop, you now have Lawyers on corporate payrolls, multiple individuals trying to conduct Business in a sense of normalcy that can be a Gambit of challeges everyday that soon take the starch out of us.
So what did we learn? Pay attention to details, listen to your innerself that knows the difference between right and wrong. Don’t forget your body armor (Layers on the payroll). Conduct Business with integrity and honesty.
Everyday the hungry are replaced by the hungier, the bigger buys out the smaller, “its survival of the fittest” or become a vacant spot on the block.
Thanks Tim. The powerful reminder that I’m taking from your comment is “Conduct business with integrity and honesty.” You might make a mistake, but it will be an honest mistake. Cheers.
Dan, Yes that is my intention, if we make a mistake own it and admit it, sometimes the “Humble pie” is bitter.
“Loud threats often indicate deep fears.”
— Napoleon Hill
Thanks for sharing this, Rusty.
Working for over 40 years in the public sector, mostly for elected officials, I experienced my share of “people-threats,” primarily self-promoters and backstabbers who would throw their own mother under the bus to get a bit closer to the center of power. They had no qualms about stepping on others as they climbed the ladder of the hierarchy. I always took the long view that “time wounds all heels” and seized the ethical high ground. I was surprised at my retirement recognition event that some of those I had “problems” with over the years came to express their appreciation for my guidance. Maybe they just showed up to make sure I was really leaving!
Thanks Jim. Your experience is a useful reminder. I doubt if the compliments you received were just because you were leaving. Although, one person leaving is often an opportunity for others. 🙂
I guess my retirement did create opportunity; the incoming sheriff hired two people to handle my previous responsibilities. 🙂