The 4 Trajectories – Seizing the Intentional Future
“Your words are rudders. They take you places.” I wrote that 14 years ago. I recently learned a new way of visualizing the rudder principle which I’ve adapted for this post.
Conversations have trajectory.
The four trajectories:
- Intentional future. Conversations focused on the future you choose.
- Scaffolding past. Conversations about past experiences that equip you to build the future you choose.
- Troubling past. Conversations that spiral around disappointments and hurts.
- Foreboding future. Conversations about potential storms and dangers.
Conversations that seize the intentional future:
Questions have destinations. Choose your destination before you speak.
- “What’s bothering you?” invites people to focus on the troubling past or foreboding future.
- “What worked?” turns people toward a past that equips them for their preferred future.
- “What could go wrong?” opens the door to future difficulties and dangers.
- “What do you want?” is opportunity to create an intentional future.
Above the line the past equips you to live into your vision. Below the line you spiral into a troubling past and a foreboding future. Most people live below the line.
Leaders create above-the-line conversations. There’s a place for below the line conversations. Leaders open conversational doors to the intentional future.
Your job isn’t to judge people. This tool isn’t for fixing broken people. The four quadrants enable leaders to understand the trajectory of their words.
Turning toward the intentional future:
You can provide opportunities to create the intentional future. You can’t make people go there until they’re ready.
5 questions that move conversations above the line:
- Remember some past challenges you worked through. What did you do?
- I see what you don’t want. What would you love to have?
- What are you learning?
- What do you want to do about that?
- What preparations would take you where you want to go?
What are ways leaders can open the door to above-the-line conversations?
Haesun Moon explains the model I adapted for this post here: Model #1: Dialogic Orientation Quadrant (DOQ) — CCBC (briefcoaching.ca)
Wonderful! Thank you so much for sharing this with us!
My pleasure, sir.
This is great information to help guide conversations with team members. Thank you for sharing.
Thanks, Brandi. So true. If it’s transparent you can discuss the trajectory of your conversation. Another use is understanding each other. It’s not about judging. It’s noticing. Some people think you have to resolve the past before moving forward. Others think the opposite. Move forward and resolve the past as you go.
Hi Dan. Really good stuff this morning! “Above the line” is now a thing for me!
Thanks, Michael. It’s pretty hard to lead when you’re below the line. One exception is using the foreboding future to prepare. We shouldn’t ignore any of the quadrants. As a leader the concern is trajectory. Where is this conversation going?
Hi Dan
To keep conversations going in the rite direction. I like starting meetings/conversations with one simple suggestion. “If your comment does not help someone or something, by all means keep your mouth shut!”
Yours truly
SGT Steve
There’s only one reason to open your mouth – make something better.
Great post! I like the ‘scaffolding past’ idea. It’s using the past as a platform to build the future you want, instead of allowing the past to hold you back! Thanks!
Thanks, Michael. Moon calls it the troubling past. That’s useful. From a leadership perspective I prefer scaffolding past. Glad you found it helpful. Sadly, as you say, the past can be an anchor that holds us back.
Often, I find that I direct conversations away from the past altogether where we can focus on the future. This reminds me however that past experiences can be reflected upon in a positive manner where we learn from them rather than dwell in them.
Thanks, Matt. Ruminating – circling the black hole – drags people toward oblivion.
Like you, I always tried to avoid talking about the past. But I missed the opportunity to acknowledge and affirm people’s journey. Listening to someone’s troubling past helps people feel understood. It’s a powerful way to connect. You can listen, acknowledge, and affirm. You don’t have to explore. You do don’t have to dig in it. As a coach, I’m not a therapist. I need to know the story to connect. But I don’t need the details. I’m not there to fix people.
The other thing to remember is there’s not power below the line. We’re helpless. The past cannot be changed. The future can only be changed by doing something now. The present is the only place we have power. Wandering around below the line makes people feel weak.
Good morning Dano
“Our words are who we are, at the end of the day be proud of who you are!”
SGT Steve
Thanks for dropping in, SGT. I hope you are well.
Thanks for the useful illustration! I especially appreciate the “above-the-line” focus in intentionally planning conversations and choosing words that are more apt to lead us in the direction we want or need to go.
Unfortunately, I tend to be less proactive and more reactive in my conversations. In order to help me quickly recall your chart for use in the middle of a conversation, I tried to simplify it even further by summarizing the quadrants (counterclockwise from top left) as wistful, regretful, fearful, and hopeful.
Utilitarian application: in conversations, ask myself which of these sentiments do my words reflect? How about the words of my interlocutor?
* If nostalgia/wistfulness, let’s enjoy the moment, bond, and move on to preserve opportunities for us or others to experience similar outcomes in the future.
* If regretful, let’s mine for lessons learned and move on, mindful of avoiding a repeat of the choices that gave rise to the regret.
* If fearful, let’s identify the threats, prepare accordingly, then move forward optimistically, assured that we’ve named and considered the monster.
* If hopeful, then let’s relish this moment and step on the gas.
So helpful, Jef. Simplicity rocks. It’s fulfilling that you made this your own.
Above the line speaks to me as well. We naturally live below the line. At least most of the people I know do.
This was very helpful! I appreciate the graphic!
Thanks, Cato. It’s interesting how a graphic helps.
10yo: “How many more cookies can I have?”
Mom: “How many have you already had?”
10yo: “Stop living in the past.”
The kid get’s it 🙂
Love it! 😊