Don’t Share Your Feelings – Tap into Them

Image source: Matias Costa for The New York Times

You can ignore how you feel, you can share how you feel, or you can tap into your emotions and use them to lift others.

Four days ago I got up feeling blue. I didn’t feel like writing an article but eventually I banged something out. It was 22 Powerful Ways to Overcome Discouragement. It didn’t seem good but I posted it out of habit and obligation. It connected.

The post I wasn’t going to write is already #4 on the list of most viewed posts for the last 30 days and #10 for the last 120 days.

4 Ways to Tap into your emotions without sharing them:

  1. Reach within even if what you see isn’t pretty.
  2. Shift from feeling alone to realizing others experience the same feelings.
  3. Connect with the feelings of others by connecting with yours.
  4. Serve others the way you would like to be served.

“Tapping into” versus “sharing”:

I didn’t want people to write “encouraging” comments to me so when I wrote 22 Powerful Ways to Overcome Discouragement I didn’t share my feelings; I tapped into them.

It’s not appropriate, in many cases, for leaders to publicly share negative feelings. Keep some of those emotions to yourself for the sake of your organization.

Share your negative feelings in smaller contexts with people you trust.

Tap into your feelings, including negative ones, to connect with others in ways that enhance your service.

  1. Need encouragement, give it
  2. Feeling joyful, celebrate another’s joy
  3. Worried you’ll be overlooked, ease another’s worries


How do you tap into your feelings in ways that build connections and enhance your service?


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