Six Positive Ways to Rise Above Negativity
You’ll never be great and negative at the same time.
The positive side of negativity is you’ll eventually be right. Bad things happen. Problems arise. Crisis is inevitable. Being right, however, doesn’t create success.
Negativity blocks your future, limits your potential, and stymies your achievement. Negativity creates paralyzing dead end thinking.
Your greatness depends on your ability to deal with negativity.
All great leaders believe they can make a positive difference.
Dealing with negativity:
#1. Own your negativity. You can’t fix what you don’t own.
#2. Own your negativity but don’t excuse it. Get over saying, “I’m not a pessimist, I’m just a realist.”
#3. Not all negativity is bad. Anticipating problems, resistance, choke points, and other difficulties helps leaders devise strategies and solutions. The down-side is imagined problems block forward progress.
#4. Confidence reinforces positive attitudes. Lack of self-confidence energizes negativity. If you can’t believe you’re capable, believe you can become capable. Confidence transforms “I can’t” into “I’ll learn.”
#5. Stop making negative statements based on speculations. When you don’t know the facts, sadly, you may make them up. Get the facts rather than feeding negativity with speculations.
#6. Establish aggressive deadlines. Long time-lines are the seedbed of negative speculations. Aggressive, yet achievable deadlines, lead you away from speculation to action. Action beats speculation every time!
Bonus: Focus on what you want rather than what you don’t want.
How can negative people develop positive attitudes?
I needed to hear this today. I’m standing up today to say, “I’ll learn!”
Cheers and best wishes!
Great post, positive attitude and confidence are required as much as awareness.
Thanks Micael… you offer a trinity of qualities. Cheers.
THank you so much for this post!
Hi Rebecca, Best wishes. Dan
Hey Dan,
Thanks for your blog! I’m new here and I am working through your past posts great stuff! I have always had a passion for leadership principles and am recovering from a difficult time trying to refocus on that which matters. Your thoughts have been helpful.
Welcome, Joe, and make sure you chime in. One of the great things about this blog is all the great comments it inspires.
Hi Joe,
Leadership has its challenges. Your comment reminds me that I want to be a leader-lifter.
Greg’s comment is true. The comments are a favorite part of this blog.
Best wishes,
Dan
Great post, Dan. I like the list, especially #5. Cheers, Paul
Hi Paul,
Thanks for the good word.
Regarding #5, when I think of my past, I think of so many things I talked myself out of because of speculation. Today, its so obvious to me that a solution orientation takes us much farther than a speculation orientation.
Best,
Dan
I don’t remember who said “Do not take counsel of your fears.” (Winston Churchill?) but you reinforce his point wonderfully, Dan. It’s easy to spend energy on badness that hasn’t, and never will, happen. All of the really successful people I know face reality head on, but with an unquenchable spirit that says no matter the circumstances they can make them better through their own efforts. To me that’s the first thing to beat into your head: no matter what’s going on, there is something you can do to shift things in a positive direction. So do it.
Hi Greg,
I did a quick search and your quote is attributed to several people. I guess it’s just public domain at this point???
Thanks for the “do something” approach you encourage and thanks for participating and encouraging the LF community.
Best,
Dan
Negative peeps can suck the life force out of a room, a meeting in a nanosecond. Toxic to a culture to be sure.
#1 Dan holding up mirrors again, dang it.
#2 You mean I can’t be a pessimistic optimist? Or a pragmatic Pollyanna!?
#3 I agree, the downside of imagined problems is stagnation and you may not even be aware you are wallowing in it. Coupled with the power of inertia, yipes! (2nd law of thermodynamics)
#6 Very powerful point Dan, make the deadlines aggressive, attainable and then publicize it when they are achieved.
Hey Doc,
The only mirror I have is the one I’m looking in myself. If the mirror fits, however … 🙂
Thanks for your affirmations. Regarding #6… its a point that popped into my head at the last minute and I’m glad it did.
Enjoy your day,
Dan
Doc is a featured contributor on Leadership Freak. Read his bio at http://leadershipfreak.wordpress.com/doc
And maybe, in keeping earlier posts, with #6, we also embrace/celebrate deadlines missed as they are opportunities to learn what we didn’t know or factor into setting the original deadline.
Great piece Dan! I recently wrote about my journey in dealing with negativity and pessimism on my blog, and your content blends in well with what I wrote.
What struck me was the nuance between anticipating problems (#3) and making negative statements based on speculation (#5). My interpretation is that #3 represents anticipating problems and devising contingency plans to address them should they occur (being at cause, responding to circumstances), while #5 is purely speculating and accepting the negative consequences (being in effect, reacting to circumstances).
I’m interested in hearing more of your thinking around these 2 items.
Hi Gary,
You capture the essence of the distinction I was thinking about and communicate it better than I did.
Contingency plans have their place. What if our best efforts fall short? Be prepared for but don’t plan on failure.
#5 is a serious problem and reflects conversations I’ve had about what might happen and what might people think and what if…. IT DEATH to forward movement.
Thanks for offering your insights.
Best,
Dan
Dear Dan,
From past few days your every post some or other waydeeply talking about positiveness , confidence, courage , change, encouragement, motivation etc which really helped me a lot. Thanks. I like the most 6#Establish aggressive deadlines. Long time-lines are the seedbed of negative speculations. Aggressive, yet achievable deadlines, lead you away from speculation to action. Action beats speculation every time! because at present I am following the same. Also I am trying to bring some positive change in me. I feel A great determination & strong will power is very much needed when we try to change something whether internally or externally. Being positive is both an art & science. Its all about controlling your brain, training & polishing it to remain positive no matter how odd the circumstances be. One good way of being positive is to be in the company of optimistic people. as our surrounding plays a greater role in molding and shaping us.
Hi Richa,
It’s a joy to read your comment. Thanks for being an encourager.
You something in my writing that reflects my own journey. I’m working to develop and hone positivity in my own life. In the past, I’ve been a dark cloud behind every silver lining. It got me NOWHERE except comfortable with underachievement.
You have my best wishes,
Dan
While I am a naturally positive person, one thing I have noticed about negativity is that it is contagious. One comment at the wrong moment can turn a negative personal thought into a negative group experience. We can all complain that it is raining today or we can be happy that the plants are getting needed water, that we won’t have to cut the grass tonight, or that it is not snowing. Sometimes stopping a negative train of thought with a positive one can help immensely.
What a super article – love to use it as a guest blog for my parents ……
Sue Atkins
Author of “Raising Happy Children for Dummies”
You wrote this for me personally, didn’t you Dan! Really, this is the sort of thing I know I need to hear. I don’t believe it, because my experience has shown me otherwise, but this thinking is the way I want to be, so I don’t believe it – yet 🙂 You’ve given me another topic to blog about, thankyou!
Great article, Dan! Thanks. I am putting this into practice, the best I know how, immediately.
Hey Dan or anyone else,
while reading here I couldn’t help but ask the question:
Since I am a married man and the relationship I have with my wife is to be just that a relationship how do I integrate thoughts like number 6 and have it not be self centered and offensive. I may desire to be aggressive in accomplishing but that may affect my relationship in a negative way….
Balance thoughts?
Joe
It might be a multi-step process, ask about goals, desires, dreams, how to make them reality. Ask your partner to take some time and write them down, give them a life of their own. Do the same. Then, since you are a team, sit down and go through them, value them, and eventually prioritize them. Commit to helping your partner and ask what you partner will commit to. Just a few random thoughts…
Dear Dan,
I liked your point # 4. ‘Confidence reinforces positive attitudes’. Very much true, for which one needs to develop a positive thinking and solution-based approach.
As regards your question as to how can negative people develop positive attitudes? I strongly feel that one needs to provide an encouragement to such people to think and act differently, make them believe in final good results with their changed attitude and even act toughness if they are part of the team, family members or loved ones.
Often, negative-minded people are a neglected lot who have experienced failures and have dragged them to be all alone cursing the destiny. They need to be consoled and shown the right path of success with positive thoughts. Give them right books to get self-motivated, take them on outings and force them to enjoy the moments of happiness from surroundings.
Success comes to those who are positive and who make things happen with sheer determination, hard-work and creativity.
Great post!
In my case, a lot of my negative thinking is the result of my mindset of ‘being prepared for the worst’. It’s like when you expect the worst possible outcome, anything that happens is bound to be better than that. Like you said, I cloak my negativity by calling it ‘realistic thinking’ or ‘preparing for eventualities’.
And while it is necessary to think of all possibilities, it is equally essential to not assume that things are bound to go wrong. This is where the line gets really thin.
Positive thinking is underrated but very important. And at the same time, you must know and prepare for what can go wrong. And so, I have learned to adopt the strategy of ‘prepare for the worst and hope for the best’.
– Sindoora (http://beyondhorizons.in)
“Focus on what you want rather than what you don’t want.” — Powerful stuff. If we don’t want to fail avoid focusing on what we are trying to avoid, instead we need to focus on what will bring us success.
Interesting how you can find inspiration when you’re not even sure you need it. And then you read a post like this and things become clearer again. It’s easy to get caught up in life and be influenced by others’ negativity. This is a timely reminder to focus on the positive. Thanks again.
I love your #1 – Own your negativity. So many times people look outside of themselves for excuses that are driving their thoughts and behaviors when all they have to do to turn it around is to start from within. Thanks!
Yeah, see, I’m generally a laid back, “make love, not war” kinda person. But there are only so many brick walls that one can bash their head against before it becomes impossible to “rise above the negativity”.
#4. Confidence reinforces positive attitudes. Lack of self-confidence energizes negativity. If you can’t believe you’re capable, believe you can become capable. Confidence transforms “I can’t” into “I’ll learn.”
I actually think this contributes to the problem. There are so many people out there with loads of unwarranted “confidence”, who bounce around like Odie saying that everything is wonderful, when it’s actually not, that it makes it impossible for the rest of us to identify and resolve glaringly obvious problems, so we subsequently get sucked further into the quicksand of negativity. Downside is that these overexcited puppies usually end up yapping their way into positions of influence simply because they make things out to be rosy all the time. Education is increasingly becoming a world of veneers polished by these type of people, and I’d argue that it’s probably a contributing factor to why western education is in decline.