The Most Awkward Leadership Topic

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You got to the end of your rope because you feel misunderstood and uncared for.

You serve, understand, and support others.

Who serves, understands, and supports you?

I’m not asking, “Who finishes tasks for you?” I’m asking, “Who supports you as a person?”


You’re alone because:

  1. You pretend you don’t need others.
  2. Those around you are fakers, pretending they don’t need others. Authenticity frightens pretenders.
  3. You won’t receive.
  4. You haven’t told people how to support you.


You need supporters who:

  1. Dream big for you. Many want you to stay average or at least below them. Supporters aren’t threatened by your success.
  2. Think about your humanity. Nearly everyone wants something from you. Supporters think about you as a person as well as what you do.
  3. Strengthen you by understanding and accepting you. Feeling understood and accepted energizes everyone. Vitality fuels the future. It’s not lazy self-indulgence.

Bottom line:

Leaders who don’t feel supported, end up hanging from the end of their rope, drained, disillusioned, and discouraged.

Everyone needs a “with.”

No one ever makes it on their own.


Stop whining about self-centered people who care only for themselves. The world is full of generous people.

  1. Train supporters. Explain what support looks like to you.
  2. Welcome and enjoy support when it comes. Stop brushing off support with embarrassment.
  3. Jettison the omnipotent leader façade.
  4. Develop trusted friends and, most importantly, be honest with them. Stop lying about your struggles. Don’t spill your guts in public but spill them somewhere. If you don’t open up in private, it often happens in public.
  5. Never make others responsible for you.

Help others care for you by caring for yourself.

High and mighty leaders, who have it all together, find this the most awkward leadership topic.

How can leaders develop personal support structures?