I Felt Like a Leader But I Wasn’t
Carry-on bags are stowed “below” in small planes where overhead storage is small. After landing, passengers line the jet bridge waiting for their luggage. Most contact friends or chat. People in the back can’t see. Bags pile up. Nobody does anything.
I decided to take matters in hand by holding bags up and calling out last names. Fellow travelers said, “Finally, someone is doing something.” It felt good to help.
Meeting needs makes you valuable.
When my bag arrived, I pulled the handle and walked past the long line of waiting passengers. I felt I’d been useful when I heard someone ask a fellow traveler, “Now what are we going to do?”
I’d done my duty. Besides, my connecting flight was boarding in fifteen minutes. For a moment, I felt like a leader, but I wasn’t.
Leaders mobilize others to meet the needs of others.
Leaders would:
- Identify fellow passengers with the skill to lift bags and call out names. (talent)
- Ask, “Do you think we can make this process go quicker?” (mission)
- Model behavior and then invited capable passengers to help.
- Affirm helpfulness by thanking helpers.
Successful leaders never hear, “Now what are we going to do?” when they leave.
Leaders enable others to work without them.
I’m glad I did something to help. But, I was mistaken when I felt like a leader. I was an individual contributor.
Individual contributors are essential. They get jobs done. But, individual contributors often think they’re leading when they aren’t. Getting jobs done isn’t leading.
It’s easy to think you’re leading when you’re busy at the center of things. But, enabling and motivating others to perform is leading.
How can leaders do less so more gets done?
Great story, Dan! How did you feel when you heard “Now what are we going to do?” and what was your response?
“Now what are we going to do” is a really typical reaction in a crisis situation. When training our leaders, I always tell them that they will spend their whole career trying to get people to listen. Sometimes they might even think they are invisible and silent as their teams continue just doing what they normally do, but the day there is a crisis, everyone will be all ears, looking at the leader and saying “Now what are we going to do!?”
What is it that motivates people to perform and follow the path of the leader? I believe it all starts with caring. The more a leader genuinely cares about people, genuinely cares about the challenges the team faces and genuinely cares about getting the team good results, the more the team will be motivated. I strongly believe in care as a motivator, so much my department’s motto is “Always Care”.
Stay safe,
Paul
Thanks Paul.
Love the focus on caring. Truth is, I was caring for myself. I figured if I expedited the process, I’d get my bag quicker. I succeeded.
If I’d cared for others, the scenario would have played out differently. KaPow
I love your honesty!
Well kinda backwards for me as usual. I know my Value so I meet needs. Can’t help but.
I am also kinda feeling if I spend my time self obsessing about how I am doing I am kinda missing the point. Who was that dude staring at his reflection in the pond all day! Dummy still not figured out it ain’t all about him! Who was that guy Dan?(Nar-sissy-ez, right)?
If I am focusing on serving others like I want to be served, getting my own house in order, putting others needs ahead of my own all sorts of wonderful exciting things happen.
Then YES after the day is complete or close to it in my CANI strategy, continous and neverending improvement dealio THEN I can take a breath and add up the total, REALLY NOT THE POINT THO!
So far 3800% this month(growth) 2 days of helping people left!
Seems my applied strategy is working out rather well.
Share with anyone willing to listen.
Shifterp(scott) Out!
Great perspective. We act when we believe we have something of value to add… Love it.
Frank Kern. The Dude Abides. Free to learn about what he shared on YouTube Core influence and three simple steps on how to sell anything.
Following this simple plan. Staying sober and clean life flourishing.
It’s all about putting others needs before my own.
SP Out. Funny isn’t it Dan people read that and they don’t hit the like button!!!! Wowie!!! Hehe
Cya. Got art of struggle in the mail thanks! What if I am not struggling but flourishing?
SP
What a fantastic post. I too am guilty of taking over in places that are not my place…. delegating in such circumstances can seem pushy. Often I just do stuff as an individual contributor.
I did jump into delegation mode once when my choir was singing at a neighboring church. An older man collapsed behind me during rehearsal before the service. I waited a few seconds for someone to do something other than look at him… figuring it was not my church (and I knew nobody accept other guest singers). Then I yelled out and started giving orders…. delegating for 911, clearing the choir out of the way, asking who knew him and if there were any family or close friends around. I felt like a jerk, but it worked. He went to the hospital and was just fine.
Great story…it’s funny how groups of people just wait for leadership. When it arrives people are thankful. Makes me wonder why we don’t step up more frequently. Perhaps it’s fear of criticism…and in your case, we just don’t think it’s our place…
Agree, excellent post again Dan, thank you.
I was in a similar situation to letsgrowleaders a few months ago at a pre-Christmas fair. An old lady fell over quite heavily on a hard floor. Went with quite a thud. She didn’t seem to be moving and no-one seemed to be doing anything, so I called out “Call an ambulance, is there a doctor here” and stepped forward to help. The old lady had a friend (who had hitherto remained silent) who rather scornfully said “Oh, no need for any of that, she’ll be fine in a minute.” And she was.
Sometimes, as was the case for letsgrowleaders, you feel like a jerk but it works. In my instance, I just felt like a jerk.
Not for long though 🙂
It is the friend that ought to feel like a jerk.. Had the friend called out.. She’ll be fine.. You would not have acted.
The insecurity of working ourselves into non-essential-ness ignores that there are new essentials just down the path. (…does that make sense, or does it sound like I’m paid by the vowel? 🙂 )
And often the people who do step up and become leaders are actually bullies in disguise. They want power so they get it. You have to be motivated to be a leader. You have to want to be a leader — but why? I find this on the sail boat racing team. And in sailing in general. Most of the time in my life I haven’t wanted to be a leader – you are generally chief slave. If you want to be a leader because you make more money, that’s one thing. If you own your own business it’s another – you have to be. I stepped up to leadership on a boat three times because there was a vacuum and I didn’t want to go onto the rocks – literally. In two cases we were dealing with an insane captain and someone had to make decisions and “take over” for safety reasons. and on a sailboat, when you’re not the owner, just a guest, taking over is fraught with cultural and nautical historical issues. But later all the crew thanked me for saving their lives. I didn’t want to lead, but I was the only one who had skills to make the decisions. And it wasn’t sailing skills, it was people skills, in two of the cases I wasn’t even the best sailor. It’s just that no one could rally the troops or make the decisions. But I could make the best sailors do stuff, by making decisions for them and having them do it. and stepping up to do the ‘carrying the luggage” to show I was willing to do whatever it took too, to get them to do whatever it took to save the boat. Weird.
Interesting. Honestly, I think you served your purpose as a leader. We all want to be the inspiration for change and all, but sometimes there are just people who are… Dare I say it… Followers.
I’m sure there was a magical sentence or a “lead by example” type scenario where the entire place would have sprung into action to help each other, but at the same time, I think you did a great job leading. The ball was on their court as to whether or not to follow you.
Great illustration!!! That is the difference between success and significance- Significance is about equipping others to be successful- To do what you do!! Anybody can be successful, but truly impactful leaders leave a legacy by helping and equipping others as well. Thanks for the thoughts-
Great Post! It helped me see that acting as a sole “contributor” can be less productive/successful than being a leader. It’s also generally easier to be a contributor than a leader.
Dan,
I really like this story. I have always believed that leaders are best judged by how the organizations they led operate after they are gone. Do they continue to move forward using the tools and skills that you as a leader have empowered them with or do they slow and stumble with out you to take them through the next steps?
I never thought of the distinction between an “individual contributor” vs. a “leader”. That makes a lot of sense to differentiate the two. However, I thought what you did was a little bit more “leader” than you think… You mobolized people.
Hi. Who knows what happened after you left? Maybe someone else picked up the task. Or maybe those same people in a similar situation down the road will be the ones that step up and do it. I don’t think leadership activities necessarily have immediate results. Maybe people need to process what they learned before they use it.
Classic Dan, thanks for sharing! From one lens, one might opine that the “nowwhatarewegonnado” would have been an Eeyore no matter what, no matter where…”you mean you aren’t going to carry my bag to my car!?” “Will you peel my grapes for me?” Sad be he.
You do bring to light another valid point-that of always planning and preparing for the next transition, your own.
If you truly value the service you provide, the organization you represent and of course value who you are and what you have done, do you want to see it continue? What steps are you taking today for tomorrow when you are not here? Who have you prepared? Have you coached and mentored them? Have you already stepped periodically to the side, while still being with, to help them experience the challenges and successes directly? Sure, they may not do it the same way as you, however are you both/all in alignment with the vision, mission, and values?
Bravo Dan!
It takes a true leader to recognize when you are not “leading”! No fault, no blame, no shame. This simply is a magnificent example of old habits die hard!
I recognized myself in this story a thousand times. It clearly demonstrates the need to engage the help of others with aligned intentions to help point out (kindly) when our actions are blindly defaulting to old habits. Because the motivation to help doesn’t change and in the end is fulfilled (we initially thought we helped out), there is no reason to re-examine the situation from a different perspective unless someone else opens up that conversation. Or unless you are one of the rare few (like you!) who somehow knows to take another look it.
Thanks for sharing this magnificent story and insight – so simple, so powerful!
“Leaders enable others to work without them” is a spectacular quote. Often, organizations collapse when their founders leave. This isn’t true leadership. A leader who can’t let go of the steering wheel isn’t a leader– he’s just the driver!
Awesome story and Awesome reflection Dan. How many times do people help and support others only for their own end. True leadership has strong links to servant leadership with integrity.
Dan,
If your story had happened in the 1950’s, you would have been leading by example and every able-bodied man there would have jumped in to help (and those who were not able, would have appreciated the service). In our current “entitlement” society, those same able-bodied men stand by to watch and then say; “Now what are we going to do?” when the leader/server walks away.
Does this erosion of initiative in our society create a need to modify our approach to leadership? Does the leader have to change his/her tactic to motivate this new breed of worker?
Dan, a few people here have said what I feel. We can’t all be brilliant leaders all of the time. You took the initiative.
OK, you then didn’t “delegate” to someone else. But was it really your place to do so? Those “now what are we going to do-ers” could just as easily have “who the heck does he think he is giving orders”.
But, as the leader you truly are, you reflected on the experience to see what lessons could be learned, and you have been open & honest and used the lesson to illustrate to others how it may have been possible to go another step (“it may have been possible” being in italics).
And, as others here have said, we’ve all been there and done less than our best on occasions. We’re only human after all.
Great post, great lesson, and prompted some great feedback. Thanks again.
Sometimes we are harder on ourselves than is fair (sometimes not :-)). For however long you led by example it was another persons turn to step in. You did the hard part, overcame inertia and devised a way to help, your replacement just needed to step in to a constructed prototype and keep the work flowing. Even a 70 year old grandma can call out peoples names to let them know their bags are available. They can lift their own bag. That’s still an improvement over the way you found it.
If there is one thing I remember from Behavioral Psychology courses, no one is 100% altruistic, whether we realize it or not on some level we do things because there is something in it for us, even if we think its in the next life.