How Need to Succeed Holds Back
The up side of the need to succeed is hard work and passion.
The down side of the need to succeed is it blocks lasting achievment. Needy leaders choose short-term success over medium or long-term wins.
- Make fear based decisions based on protecting themselves.
- Hold back others rather than release.
- Manipulate to achieve objectives.
- Worry too much about what others think and not enough about what they think.
- Lower the bar to assure success.
The need for success is like searching for diamonds and coming back with rocks.
Leaders who need to succeed live in a world of scarcity. Their need to win suggests your need to lose.
The need for personal success
prevents leaders from helping others succeed.
But, leadership is about others.
Leadership is about what you get others to do.
7 ways to overcoming the need to succeed:
- There’s neediness in all of us. Admit it.
- Set people goals along with project goals.
- Trust yourself. Show up and let others see you. (Inspired by Brene’ Brown)
- Think about the way you’re thinking. Does it create an enduring meaningful future?
- Believe progress on a noble mission is better than success on a small mission. Succeeding suggests you reached too low.
- Shift from need to succeed to need to achieve, serve, and make a difference. Achievement is a journey. Success is a mythical destination.
- Be willing to go slow at first. Develop others. The need for speed pushes others out. It’s just easier to do it yourself. Patience is love; impatience hatred.
How does the need for success hinder leaders?
What would you add to this post?
Check out the great list of leadership N’s on the Leadership Freak Facebook Page. While you’re there, add leadership O’s for tomorrow’s post.
The need for success is a hindrance when you do not put others first. It’s called servant leadership!
Thanks Rita. You remind me that leading others is about putting the interests of others first.
Good morning Dan!
Great way to start the day!
Kenny Powers said women are tough to deal with cause they have a gaping hole of need! I love me some Kenny Powers yes I do indeedy.
Don’t see eye to eye with him on who has this gaping hole of need tho. I think it is Human Beings with a Spiritual Malady doing any and all they can to fill that hole in their soul. Pretty much ALL of us!
For non druggies and drinkers(always feel sill saying it that way cause al-kee-hall is also a drug afterall) there is a symptom that can qualify you to the 12 Steps. Just pick one!
The 12 Steps can be worked and works EVERYTIME with anyone who follows the path. Just place EGO where you see Alcohol. Once again AA Big Book online FREE! It only costs your confusion, misery and ego.
Step One…..I am powerless over my EGO and my life is unmanageable! See how easy that was?
My N word Narciss-eez, not sure I spelled that right! Ok know I didn’t!!!!! Little Dude sitting by a pond and all he can do is sit and stare at his own reflection! Sound familiar Oh Self-Centered ones, yeah you, reading this! hehe
We are beyond human aid, but its cool, there is a solution! Ya wanna?
It isn’t ambition that gives us an empty result, it is ambition for what? To fill WHAT, with What, that is the question! Tis nobler minds, yada yada yada!
Ambition to fill our gaping hole of need by puffing up our ego, sure it feels good like peeing on ourselves in the dead of winter! Nice warm feeling FOR A LITTLE WHILE! Then not so much, right?
The ONLY thing that will fill my gaping hole of me is this, my opinion based on my experience………….truly being willing to and acting on the inspiration I receive from my Higher Power to serve God’s other kids.Being one of God’s agent, not pretending I am him/her! hehe Been there, done DAT!
Only thing, and I have tried about everything any of you can imagine to cure the cancer in my soul that helps is giving, not getting. Do what you need to do till you also are convinced any life based on self will and self aquiring will be a success.
You are either part of the problem or you are part of the solution. Starts with you, then we, then us! I, you and me ain’t cutting it as far as filling that gaping hole of need thingy goes.
You part of the problem or part of the solution? Only can be answered if you practice rigorous honesty.
12 Steps to Freedom waiting on you all. 300 12 Steps groups, pick your qualifying symptom! 50% of Americans touched by the Alcoholism thingy, that is over 150 million Americans. That means a lot of the people who follow this blog. Time magazine listed the 12 Step movement as one of the most significant contributions to Humanity in the last 100 years! WHY? Find out! Don’t suffer from contempt prior to investigation! Or DO!!!!!!!!!!
If you got a hole in your soul and looking to fill that gaping hole of need you MIGHT want to check it out! Free online, I suggest the first 164 pages of the Free Online AA Big Book. You know what that is called? A good start!
Have a Great One.
Strengthsfinder lists several strengths with this component. Achievers have a drive and desire for success. Personally, I find that my need to succeed is more a craving for significance than a need to see points on the board.
I love that you differentiate between short-term success and long-term achievement. Thanks for the reminder to focus on our teams and achieve together rather than succeeding individually.
How could I have forgotten the transition from success to significance… Good call!
No matter how hard I try not to, I always find myself trying to one-up the other guy. I am a competitor and I have to remind myself that not everything is a competition. Being self-aware and knowing how to change my behavior despite what my personality is telling me to do is a constant battle. That’s why I am glad that leadership is a process and that success is merely a journey, not a destination. Thanks for the reminder!
I’ve always been a one-upper, too. Like they say, acknowledging it is the first step to curing it… 🙂 Cheers
“Impatience is hatred”…wow that hurt!! I never thought of it that way. Thanks for the clarification.
I really like the distinction between win and success. Achievement is a journey and success is a mythical destination is even more powerful. You are right as I have seen many people striving for success. Desire for such successes often make them to engage into petty and accusative discussion that aim at damaging others. Those engaged in such practices perceive it as good tactics to get success. They even get short term mileage but they become handicapped for wins. They believe their success as win. They lack vision for success in long run. The interesting thing is that such people often find other places unsuitable for them. And they make all possible tricks to remain in places where they can play their game.
I also believe that need for success depends upon the orientation of the person. It makes lot of sense to them to define their definition of success. And such mindset actually hinder leader to see win. I would rather add the impact in the post that leaders should consider in defining their success. Any success that only promises personal growth is lop sided growth. One should strive for balanced growth responsibly and ethically.
Great post as always Dan. I have worked with many needy leaders that are always chasing the latest management fad trying to get quick results. They start to focus more on getting the end result then long-term achievements.