If You Can’t be with the One You Love

You’d love to avoid them, but you’re forced to work with them. Why can’t that “pain in the neck” co-worker, boss, or employee just go away?

But, “If you can’t be with the one you love, … love the one you’re with.” Stephen Stills

you hired them for their strengths

It’s difficult to feel good about people who have so many weaknesses.


Leaders fuel negativity when they focus on weaknesses and forget strengths.

You hired them for their strengths. Why focus on their weaknesses? You end up disliking the people you serve.

The things that irritate you about others are things you think you do well. I hate whining, for example. I don’t do it. I don’t want you to, either. But, I find myself whining about whiners. You believe you connect with people. But, is it just the people you like?

Love the one you’re with:

Cheryl Bachelder’s first reflection point in, “Dare to Serve,” is, “How do you think about the people you lead? Are they a ‘pain in the neck’ or essential to the future success of the organization?

“What are the specific qualities you love in the people you lead?” Bachelder

Today’s leadership project:

Write a list of the top seven qualities or behaviors you love about a teammate. Do this everyday until you cover every member of your team.

Next step:

After completing today’s list, go to that teammate and say, “One of the things I admire about you is ….” Don’t ask for anything. Just show respect.

Reality check:

Some teammates don’t fit your organization. Seek what’s best for them by managing them out. That’s another post.

How might leaders shift from a negative to a positive focus about teammates?

When is it useful to focus on weaknesses?


Book Giveaway!

Leave a comment on this post to become eligible for one of twenty free copies of, “Dare to Serve: How to Drive Superior Results by Serving Others,” by Cheryl Bachelder, CEO of Popeyes

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Buy, “Dare to Serve.”