7 Signs You Let Others Control You During Emotional Turmoil
You must know yourself to manage yourself.
Self-aware leaders choose how they show up.
Low self-awareness means you can’t manage yourself with authenticity.
Emotional turmoil seduces you into self-forgetfulness. When you forget yourself, others control you.
7 signs you let others control you:
Spontaneous responses during emotional turmoil don’t reflect your best self.
- Outbursts of anger. Every time you lose it, someone else rules you.
- Obsessive thoughts, especially about the offense of others. Inner chatter runs wild when you forget yourself.
- Obsessive focus on people-pleasing. The need for someone’s approval means they control you.
- You’ve lost yourself when you need the last word.
- Compulsive competitiveness. You won’t play unless you can win, means the performance of others controls you.
- Resentment and bitterness. Others control you when you resent their success.
- Backstabbing and gossip. The person you tear down is controlling your thoughts and words.
You surrender control when others become justification for self-defeating attitudes and behaviors.
7 ways to show up with self-awareness during emotional turmoil:
Self-awareness enables authentic service during emotional turmoil.
- Choose outcomes that bring value during emotional turmoil. How are your reactions or responses reflecting or violating your values?
- Align thought, speech, and action with your best self. Speak like momma is listening.
- Notice hot emotion. What does anger say about you?
- Seek input while formulating plans or responses. Emotional turmoil clouds thinking.
- Reflect on your words and actions. How might someone describe you based on your words and actions?
- Pursue feedback on interactions. Others help us see ourselves when they describe what they see us doing.
- Journal about your actions and interactions with others. Bring emotional turmoil to mind. Record your thoughts and intentions.
Use hot emotion to clarify and intensify self-awareness.
Self-awareness is the first step toward showing up as your best self during emotional turmoil.
How might leaders show up as their best selves during emotional turmoil?
Bonus material: How to Show Up During Emotional Turmoil (Leadership Freak)