Pretending Its OK or Freedom Through Real


Image source by George Hodan

Pretending you have it together indicates you don’t.

Pretending perpetuates problems, propagates failures, and strengthens stress. Worse yet, …

Leaders who pretend lose themselves, bit by bit.

Bill George writes, “One Stanford professor has discovered that the number one fear of top leaders is “being found out.” (The foreword of, “Leadership and the Art of the Struggle,” by Steven Snyder.)

You continue being the problem
until you acknowledge you’re part of the problem.

Get real:

Everyone struggles. Perhaps ignorance is bliss in some contexts but never in leadership.

No one has it all together; pretending won’t make it so.

The leaders you place on pedestals feel confusion, doubt, and fear.

Run from every leader who doesn’t struggle. They’re intentional fakers, deluded, or they wrongly believe being positive is pretending its OK when it isn’t.

Pretending it’s so doesn’t make it so.

The first danger of false positivity:

Problems take root and grow when you close your eyes and pretend.

You can’t address what you pretend isn’t there.

“Tuning out all negative thoughts and emotions can be a roadblock to the honest conversations people need to have with themselves and with others.” Steven Snyder.

The second danger of false positivity:

Ostrich leaders – those who pretend its ok when it’s not – propagate insecure cultures.

Fake faces at the top invalidate your struggle. How can they have it together when you’re falling apart?

Ostrich leaders subtly encourage others to bury their heads in the sand.

Freedom through real:

“Savvy leaders embrace struggle as an opportunity for growth and learning, as an art to be mastered.” Steven Snyder.

The first step toward real is admitting you’re not. Growth and learning begin at that point, not before.

The second step toward real is revealing your true self to trusted friends.

What false beliefs propagate pretending?

How can leaders embrace struggle without losing confidence?

Free chapter of, The Art of The Struggle.” (No email required. Just enjoy.)