Seven Simple Steps From Can’t to Can
Every organization has “can’t do” people in it. Their first words are no, can’t, or won’t. Successful leaders change can’t to can.
Real influence:
Coercion creates conformity; influence transforms.
Incompetent leaders pressure; skillful leaders influence.
Inept leaders us power, authority, and position to intimidate. Influential leaders move people from can’t to can by changing what people believe, think, and feel.
Seven steps:
- Stop pressuring people to change. You can’t change someone only they can. Peter Senge wisely said, “People don’t resist change, they resist being changed.”
- Go back to rule number one until you believe it!
- Give acceptance to gain acceptance. Their beliefs come before yours. Listen to understand. Understanding isn’t a contest; acceptance isn’t agreement.
- Pull back when they pull back. Create space for change. Pressure creates resistance.
- Identify and agree on a core point of resistance. State a sticking point. Do they nod in agreement?
- *Ask, “Can we fix this?” Say nothing more. Shhh! Wait! Thinking instantly shifts if they say, “Yes.”
- Ask, “What’s the next step?” after “Yes.”
“Yes” changes the brain.
Resistance:
Pressured people explain reasons it can’t be done and why it won’t work. Their brains are busy defending “no.”
People who believe it won’t work
find reasons it won’t work.
Changing Thinking:
The moment someone says, “Yes, we can fix this,” their thinking irresistibly, inevitably changes. “Yes” shifts brains from can’t or won’t to can and how.
You can’t say, “Yes, we can fix this,”
without also thinking how.
No:
What happens when they say, “No, we can’t fix this?” Find “yes” somewhere else. Ask, “Is there something we can fix?”
Only an UNbullied “yes” changes can’t to can.
***
*The first time I saw, “Can we fix this?” was in, “To Sell is Human,” by Daniel Pink.
Bonus material:
Facebook contributors share their insights on dealing with negative thinkers. 4/12/13
Blog post: Something Better than “I Think I Can”
How can leaders change “can’t do” to “can do?”
Good post, Dan.
Leaders can change a “can’t do” to a “can do” by working to change the environment. Leaders must allow themselves and the people they lead to be open to probability and possibility thinking. If something is not working, sit and talk with the people actually involved in getting it done and figure out why. Find out what the workers see and think. What do they think would help?
Bring your silos together and look for new angles. A similar problem has probably cropped up somewhere else. How did they solve it?
Break the issue down. If you can’t fix the giant-sized problem, what parts can you fix or change?
And lastly, celebrate the all of the successes along the way. Celebrate the processes and the people.
Dear Dan,
I feel leaders can change from can’t go to can go by infusing hopefulness. And it is nothing but challenging and changing our mindsets. It is the questioning the way, we think. It is the believing that the way we think is not always right. There could be other ways as well. In the process of change between leaders and followers, perception plays key role. Perception of being controlled, monitored, directed, forced create feeling of insult, disrespect and inhuman. And this makes people to react negatively. So, creating positive perception among follower about change, need for change, impact of change and ultimate beneficiary of change could bring positive behaviour.
Creating process of change takes time. It is not about rule implementing or following policies. Rather it is following fair, trustworthy practices, creating transparency, caring people etc. It means, creating environment where people respond positively is the first step. Second, leaders should create example of change and its impact, if possible. Third, they should initiate action by showing example and using environment as a launching pad. I am sure, this process will more positively, though speed of change may vary depending upon leaders and environment.
Great question Dan.
part of my weirdneness is I pretty much say why can’t I? Not I can’t.
I also have to be practical, no matter what I do I can’t and never will dunk a basketball UNTIL I get my trusty ladder!
Have to be honest, find people who have done what I want to do, find out WHAT THEY WERE TELLING THEMSELVES while they were doing it.
Groove those thoughts into my wiring till it is a habit, repeat over and over and over and over and over.
Ok busy busy day!!!!!!! Masters Weekend!!!!!!!!!! Love that place been there 3 times Grandfather was a member for 50 yearsQ!
Recommend everyone go if they get a chance!
CYA, Scott
Good points Scott.
Being honest with yourself and others about the things that you cannot do, or cannot do well, opens the door for others to step in, shine, and offer some fresh insights.
Have fun at the Master’s.
Thanks Martina, demmings empowering the lowest dudes and dudettes on the assembly line did what for the Japanese? WOW!
Figuring out even though I am really awesome I can’t do what needs to get done alone is so great!
Inviting others to the problem solving party has so many benefits. Letting humans know how important they are and how much I need and value what they have to contribute is SO rewarding! Plus gets stuff done!
Then adding the brain power of others kicks in the law of synergy like 1 and aren’t 2 but 11!! You get 5 or 6 break out the abacus to cipher the math!!! GroupBrain!!!! Horray!!!
People live lives of quiet desperation so being, “now for something completely different in their lives, not their work lives, their lives goes a long way to building a team who will run thru a wall for ya if you ask nice enough!
Have a great one Martina, I am SP
I really like… when they say “no”, find “yes” somewhere else!
Powerful thoughts on influence and buy-in, Dan. It’s tempting for older managers or even managers who have just been “in the business” for a while to nay-say younger subordinates or team members in the name of teaching them the business. Sometimes, knowledge or routine or systems become obstacles to growth. When you use such a negative teaching model, the only thing you’re teaching a younger or newer team member is to keep doing what you’ve always done. What a recipe for disaster!
I especially love your step #1. Moving from the mindset of changing people…to helping them to realize their strengths and further develop them is so beneficial. Good stuff.
I agree – Step #1 is burned into my mind. We can’t change people and only the person can make that decision. This is something that affects work and personal life. Focusing internally and working on our self-improvement is a sign of good leadership and hopefully inlfuences others.
Well said!
Dan,
Were you thinking about your Grand Children when you wrote this ???? It is a TV show.
[image: Inline image 1] *Bob The Builder “Can we fix this ?? Yes We Can !”*
Ok
Sent from my iPod
Send me messages with I message
Sent from my iPod
to get someone to perform better, I had to change. Funny how that works.
My last boss used to have an exercise he called IWWCW (In What Ways Can We). We would tackle issues by first looking at what we CAN do – the rule was that at this first stage we were not allowed to discuss why a “can” suggestion might not work.. The idea was simply to get as many possible “cans” on the map, regardless of their improbability or absurdity. I’ve always since believed this was genius, as it immediately set the tone for the discussion as positive and creative. I use this tool now myself, and have found it helps negative people be more positive as well as combats the scarcity mentality.
Great exercise, I’m stealing it! I like to ask “How can we fix it?”. It engages the brain and creativity.
I can relate this to my experience when i take over my current team. Remember those days when all the team intial say to every proposal made was cant do. But i managed to switch their mindset to CAN DO by 1) erased Cant do from their vocab 2) engage them on every suggestion and action plan just to get them onboard 3) create baby steps goal and when it’s achieved enhance confidence to the team 4) in addition i also personally takes up difficult task and made it happen to proof to the team that its workable and achievable 5) once the confidence is instilled within the team, they’ll automatically believe everything is possible.
I can feel guilty about the past, apprehensive about the future, but only in the present can I act. The ability to be in the present moment is a major component of mental wellness.
Abraham Maslow.
Thinking errors make us second guess ourselves. We want to know ” is who I am OK”? “Do I have what it takes”? and “Can I do this”? Past experiences tend to make us accept what was said about us as the truth. When is essence we are constantly evolving, building confidence and control. Fear is what holds us back.
http://trainforsales.wordpress.com/seven-simple-strategies-to-successful-sales/