Fuel for the Journey
Obligations weigh down. Expectations from others deplete. Dissatisfaction with yourself – the worst downer of all – saps energy. Add the problem of critics with personal agendas and you have a vigor-draining vortex.
Your vitality is your responsibility.
- Think of leading as serving. Serving – being useful to others – energizes. Who doesn’t feel great after being helpful? Tip: Focus energy on people who welcome and respect service.
- Let, even invite, others to help you. Lone-ranger-leaders die broken and alone. Tip: The need to appear like you have it all together is one reason you’re falling apart.
- Listen to your energy gauge. Do more things that enhance vitality and fewer that drain.
- Fuel others by understanding what fills their tank. Successful leaders monitor the energy levels of others. Watch their eyes light up and ask, “What generated so much enthusiasm?” Tip: Feeling understood increases vitality.
- Be still. Vitality finds you when you’re quiet.
Bonus: Accept people for who they are not who you wish they were.
I’m often asked, “How do you write every day? Where do the ideas come from?”
I usually respond,
“I put more in my cup than I pour out.”
I read and discuss leadership every day. Useful leadership books, not only inform, they help me think my own thoughts. All great books help us think our own thoughts. Most of my books have my scribbled notes all through though them.
Every week I have conversations with the world’s leadership experts, scholars, teachers, and authors. A few are selfish self-promoters. The vast majority, however, are generous servants who want to matter by making a difference. They fill my cup.
“Finding Vitality” – From a conversation with Francis Hesselbein
“Vitality: Collisions between Stability and Instability” – A look at vitality from an organizational point of view
What fuels your vitality?
How do you find vitality when it’s lost?
Fuel your journey by listening to the journey of Stephen M.R. Covey:
I really like the line :“I put more in my cup than I pour out.”…I too try to do so. Thank you so much for such inspiring post 🙂
And you constantly fill the cup of others. Thanks for all you do to fill mine. Namaste.
Thanks Karin. The cool thing about serving others is there is a return as well. It seems that when we put something in someone else’s cup, we put something in our own.
Well sometimes you read things that are just plain wrong, today this is the case. Of course that is opinion, mine based on the opinions of others. Again does not mean I am Right or wrong just means I am stating my truth. Also does not mean if your opinion differs you are right or wrong. Just means we have different opinions. No biggie.
One, Motion creates emotion, NOT be quiet and your vitality finds you. That is according to Anthony Robbins and I am sure you are aware of his work. So this is his opinion and his results based on 30 or so years of working with people and getting results. what are the results from the other opinion? Concerning results, size matters!!!
Also it is human biology that motion crested emotion. Work against biology if you wish.
Next one I am not too sure about. Treating others as they are. Absolutely 1000% wrong in my opinion. Why?
Remember the movie Lean on Me? Story of principal Joe Clark. Yeah go ask Joe Clark how treating people as they are is gonna work?
My opinion and Mr Clark’s is you treat people as you see they will be. I will take his results and where would all the kids whose lives he changed for the better be if he treated them as they were?
60 minutes did a story on him, movie made about him, Time magazine story about him. He was named one of the nations 10 Principals of Leadership. Results not ingredients.
So I will go with his opinion and results about how to treat and see people.
Choose to follow people based on the results they get, not how what they say sounds when I read it. Just my opinion backed up with examples.
Have a great one Dan. Ok not to always agree with what you share, right? Hope so.
Good thoughts, Scott. You’re right that we can all disagree. I enjoy and respect the examples you give here of leading by action.
In my experience, restoring vitality varies wildly from person to person. My vitality is best restored by finding a quiet place with a good book or getting alone with pen and paper. For me, it’s an inward focus that brings back the desire and excitement for pouring into others. Without these times of stillness, I would never be able to act and empower others.
I agree with your opinion on developing people with their full potential in mind. We have to encourage people and build them up. We have to remind them that they are meant for more. We also have to mind their strengths and pay careful attention to their own aspirations. We can open doors for people; when WE pick THE door for them, though, it becomes a trap door and we end up squandering our influence by strong-arming them into a decision.
Getting married teaches us great lessons about leading (and loving) people from/for who they are and not who you wish they were. “Project marriages” are never successful. Spouses may lovingly develop eachother over a life together. Nobody makes it to a Happy 50th Anniversary by forcing drastic and immediate change.
Thanks for your thoughts on this, Scott. The beauty of exchange is in appreciating the difference of opinions and experiences.
Great Justin and thank you for sharing.
Hope to clarify, recharging ones engine is not the same as turning on the key.
As a recovering person I am all about Step 11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve my conscious contact with the god of my understanding.
I get it But that quiet reflective time is quiet reflective time, not energy.
Run an engine all night them turn it off and let it cool down YES but cool down time is not the engine running full blast. See where I am coming from?
Justin if I could I would jump through this computer and sit with you and google Bob Chapmans tedtalk and watch it with you. You seem like such a good dude and if you ever expose yourself to Chapmans people centric leadership I KNOW you are going to have an ah-hah moment.
Only thing I can’t do is do it for you.. All I can do is treat you like the good dude who will watch and evaluate and give me feedback on bobs stuff. Hehe
Promise you will thank me if you take 22 minutes and listen to what Barry-Wehmiller is all about.
Suspend your disbelief for 22 minutes! What if what I am trying to share with you hits home with you like it has me? Would that make 22 minutes worth it?
Bob says when people win one of their awards, this one comes with a cool convertible to drive for a week their spouse and their moms are the first two people they take for a ride.
Bob interviews all the winners and they show their moms cause that is the one person they want to show in a the world they turned out ok.
One of their company videos says. We make great Moms. Justin. One of their company videos….. They manufacture hydrolic equipment dude.
What they really do is develop people and they make some stuff in the process
Anyway hope you take those 22 minutes, watch, listen and give me some heartfelt feedback. I promise you will spend 22 minutes less wisely in the next week. Why not take a chance to see what I am making such a fuss about?
Take care and thank you again for responding to me.
Thanks Scott…you’re always welcomed to disagree. This post is not a work of scholarship. I just looked in my own heart and to my experience and then described the things that give me vitality. Cheers!
Thanks Dan, wonderful when people feel inspired and feel a transformational moment. When that happens to me I want to share. Seems like it is a built in response. Think you might have had a moment like that and shared. If that was the case or not thanks for sharing.
I fill my cup by walking alone through the Grand Canyon (actually, I don’t think it’s me doing the filling – I’m just the thankful recipient of being poured into).
Thanks Joe! Nicely said.
Cup fillers of the world unite. 🙂
When you think about it, leaders have to balance the interests of various parties and help everyone (and themselves) to achieve their goals. That can drain energy.
I like that thought — “leadership is serving”… it removes the pressure from leader.
Personally I get vitality from moving. It’s simple. When I feel tired or drained I just keep moving, and I start
working anyway. That gives me more energy and discipline than anything else. Of course, I don’t push when I’m sick or exhausted or something like that, but most of the time I just need a small push.
And of course, some form of physical exercise can help… also stillness (as you mentioned) is helpful. Sometimes you just need silence.
Liked your saying, ‘Your vitality is your responsibility’ and ‘Think of leading as serving’.
I get my vitality with good listening and of spiritual/motivational talks and good readings. To rejuvenate vitality, I look at positive aspects of life and seek the blessings of God. Playing with children and going for walks also help in boosting fresh thoughts and solving difficult issues with ease.
Excellent advice, thank you. Another thing that saps fuel is negativity. I would add “Be positive and suuround yourself with positive people.”
The quote, “Accept people for who they are not who you wish they were” is so important. Probably one of the top things people do. Thanks for sharing
Sounds basic but my vitality comes from my personal energy level, starting with reasoning with myself to go to bed instead of trying to cram in more documentation or research to prepare for the next work day. With a 2 Red Bulls running through the mind “tired” doesn’t contribute to the “get to bed” argument. Making the decision to problem solve in dreamland doesn’t mean I’m well rested. No. But the decision to wind down and restart the next day brings life to the game. When I attack the day like it’s my turn to play (and win quite frankly), I’m focused, I’m flexible and I’m on to people’s sh#@! In a calm and relaxed manner is how I have the power to impact that sh#@ too.