33 Ways to Tell if You’re a Jackass
You’re a jackass if:
- People who think you’re a jackass are always wrong.
- Holding back negatives makes you a nice person.
- Having the last word is normal for you.
- Making others squirm keeps them on their toes.
- You know more than most.
- Others are jealous because you’re “all that.”
- Pointing out faults and problems comes before celebrating successes and strengths.
- It’s their fault you ticked them off.
- Status really matters.
- Time pressure excuses rudeness.
- Your voice is louder than others.
- The world is full of jerks. You’re projecting yourself on the world.
- Trust is something weak leaders do.
- Teammates are competitors not colleagues.
- Others lose when you win.
- You don’t care when people are upset with you. After all, you can’t please everyone.
- Talking is more powerful than listening.
- Jealousy is your response to a colleague’s success.
- You quickly write others off.
- The stories you tell focus on your vacation or last exploit.
- Enemies outnumber friends.
- Anger is a useful motivation tool.
- Taking credit for your team’s success is the privilege of leadership.
- Failure is the other guys fault. You aren’t responsible.
- You interrupt.
- Brownnosing the boss is the way to get ahead.
- Sarcastic humor is your default humor.
- Your team is the best team. All other teams are second rate.
- People are guarded around you.
- You enjoy proving you’re right and others are wrong.
- You always have an excuse or justification.
- People leave when you arrive.
- Texting during conversations is acceptable.
Bonus: You’re a jackass if you didn’t see yourself somewhere on this list.
Double bonus material: “Where I see myself on the jackass list” (2:53)
Check out the great list of leadership J’s on the Leadership Freak Facebook Page. While you’re there, add leadership K’s for tomorrow’s post.
What items can you add to the jackass list?
Where are you on the jackass list?
…And “if you did not see yourself”.
Thanks Ken… don’t let me interrupt you.. 🙂
I am a Jackass too.. Sometimes I am in 2, 25, and 28. Thank you. I will work on not being such a jackass! Happy Thursday!
Thanks and best wishes on the journey.
… I always have issues with black or white things like this. Some behavior that is traditionally seen as abnormal is often just a highly sensitive person unavoidable response to their environment. Half of these things are done *to* me by leaders here at work, while many describe my reactions (because after 5 years I’ve learned that there IS no way to rationally get through to them, so now I’m just angry). Being right doesn’t make one a know-it-all jackass…unless you’re a poor leader who finds that negative jackass is a convenient label for someone riled by your poor leadership. Many of these DO absolutely describe a jackass. Sadly pointing them out doesn’t lead to the jackasses mending their ways, it just leads to the pointer being labelled a trouble making jackass. I think there needs to be more nuance to how issues like this are addressed educationally. Nobody ever seems to highlight the passive, smiling, seemingly cooperative jackass bullies. Labels only seem to land on those who could easily be cast as such by surface investigation.
Still, I’m loving these posts!
These are great points and incredible frustrations, Andrea. I think we can all see ourselves being jackasses in some way. You’re in a difficult situation– stuck in the middle! I hope you find a way to serve others and reverse what seems to be a culture of jackassery in the workplace.
Such jackassery, you’ve no idea. I’m considering writing a book. Hahaha
Thanks for bringing a nuanced approach to this topic.
“Jackassery” … now there’s a word!
Hi Andrea, dude told me one day something I hated, disagreed with, rejected, ridiculed till I accepted it as self evident…….funny how Truth works like that everytime…..he shared……I am only upset if I am upset-able.
Shivered me timbers!!!!
OUR attachments cause, Oopppssss. My attachments cause me my grief NOTHING else.
I work on dismantling my trigger and poof……the actions of others don’t bother me in the least!
Takes practice. So does living a life searching for what will trip my trigger!!
Great book will help immensely if you want more to release yourself from your own trap than talk or write about it.
Awareness. Anthony De Mello. Can get a copy real cheap used on amazon. And listen free to a portion on youtube.
Life is a banquet, what you put on your plate from what is there you put on your plate. Don’t like it, empty the plate and put something else on it.
As YOU think you are, not as they act you are.
SP Out. Or you can listen to people who will console you and agree with you and repeat repeat repeat your experience. Your choice.
In other words you’re making the assumption that I’m the problem… A self awareness book is always great, but its far far more highly recommended for people who aren’t aware. Being highly sensitive, or even an Orchid personality isn’t a personal choice and, frankly, the world needs to learn and embrace those types rather than (interminably) demanding we confirm to the 1980’s social norms. Apparently you have never been in a Chinese water torture environment where you were continually pushed and pushed and pushed and then called out for not liking or handling it well. It’s a *real thing* not an imaginary complaint. And therein lies my point. People who don’t experience problems need to be mature and evolved enough not to be the jackasses who therefore insist the problems don’t exist.
Let me say it more simply. One persons normal inborn reaction to a negative stressor might be not to even notice it, while another persons genetic and normal reaction to negative stress might be strong and emotional. Both are a result of a negative stressor, the common denominator, the REAL problem. Both are valid and entirely normal reactions for each persons biology. But only one of those people are traditionally labelled the office troll. Leaders have a responsibility to learn and value before they judge.
Wonderful!!!! Thanks for sharing your deep and heartfelt beliefs!!! Very well read as I can clearly see.
Let me try this another way!
I have celiacs disease, I eat pasta, bread my intolerance to gluten causes a skin condition called uticaria! Boy does it look awful and ITCH!!!!
Green drink, raw foods good, gluten bad, let me tell ya!
So Andrea I love our discussion so far. Lets say we continue over dinner?
You eat pasta and bread and I don’t break out. Your actions don’t cause an allergic reaction in my body.
Only me ingesting if you will gluten, metaphor for other people’s dysfunction, causes me to ITCH.
That is true whether it is 1, 10, 100, 1000 years old.
Truth is timeless unlike opinions which invariably change.
Now you can argue you are upset not because you are upsetable, you really can. Just like I can say I have uticaria because you ate pasta.
I can say that, hope for it, beg it to be true.
It just isn’t.
Many thanks for sharing. Will read over and over to see if what you shared can help me.
Great comments. And Andrea really touched on an important topic: how to work for a jackass with some degree of serenity.
I found the challenge when working for jackasses is to somehow emotionally disinvest in them changing. Because they won’t, unless there is some very compelling reason to do so. Usually, a subordinate’s response is not compelling.
Anyway, I found for me that anger and frustration at a boss is a way of continuing to hope that they will change, a sign that I still believe they can change, and definitely a symptom of the “shoulds” – they should change. Abandoning that hope was essential to getting on any kind of even keel emotionally and professionally.
Accepting that the person isn’t going to change somehow liberates me to return the focus to me and my behavior and attitudes – the one person I actually can do something about. I’m not saying I’m the problem, I’m saying that I don’t like feeling frustrated and angry all the time, and what can I do to stop feeling that way.
Managing myself begins with accepting the situation as it is, not denying it or thinking it’s all my problem. The reality is that the boss is a jackass. OK, now what? That’s when I move toward a solution. How do I want to behave? How do I want to feel? What do I need to do to get to that place?
Venting is important to get rid of those negative feelings. And then the hard work of recognizing my behavior and attitudes, and consciously identifying alternative ways to behave that don’t aggravate my situation. Behaving in ways that I’m proud of, that are in alignment with my values – that’s the solution.
🙂 Great perspectives, thank you Julia.
So Julia would I or might I have a more enjoyable dinner with you cause it seems you are more agreeable to my point if view???? Lol
Such fun pondering this human condition isn’t it!!!
AA pamphlet on acceptance tells this story of a dude comes up on these whirling dervishes!!
They make quite a commotion and everyone seems really annoyed, but this one guy!!!!
Dude goes up to him and asks him, “how do you not let theses whirling dervishes upset you”?
Fella just says, “I just let them whirl”!!!!!!
Jerks being jerks don’t effect me unless I make them important to me.
Misery loves company, it demands it!!!
I can choose if I wish not to participate!!!!
So Julia are you saying you gave up being Ruler of the Universe!??
The AA Big Book free online says. We must be convinced we can’t Wrest satisfaction and happiness out of this life only if we manage it well!!!!!
All the works is a stage all the men and women merely players…they would all be happy including me if they would only follow living their lives like I thought they should!!!
Didn’t they get the memo from god to act like I think they should!?? Lol. They would be so happy if they did, promise!!!!
Goes on to say I have a spiritual malady!!!! Says the solution is first I have to stop playing god!!!!!! Ballsy huh to say stuff like that to a guy like me?? Lol
Saudi have a problem beyond any human aid, I have a spiritual problem and the only solution is spiritual.
Yeah, bummer I had to quit playing God!! Then again it was a disaster and I was miserable!!!
Now I am one of Gods agents here to do his bidding. Next right thing and depend on my ever increasing sixth sense to guide me to the next right thing!
It is a beautiful thing!!!
Hey Julia, about that dinner……… Hehe
SP gratefully Out!!!!
I believe Scott has effectively proven my original point. Actually, he’s effectively portrayed both sides of my original point. (golf clap)
I saw myself at several places on the list. I know I can be a jackass. Where I think I am improving is
1) I can recognize when I am doing it,
2) I can stop the behavior, and
3) I can make amends, if necessary.
To me, that is the hard part of being a leader. Seeing the behaviors as they happen and making the adjustments on the fly.
Thanks Anthony, Love how you take the “where I’m improving” approach. That’s real leadership. YOur not self-indulgent whiner.
I think you are spot-on. I, too, know that I can be a jackass — and probably through my career have been guilty of almost all 33 “ways” at least once. As a leader, the important takeaways are just as you say . . . be self-aware, stop doing the jackass things, and take corrective action to prevent any further episodes.
#2, 16, 19, 27 and a few other ones sting me! Once we start studying our defaults we begin to start using them less and less. How else we going to change?
Thanks Butchering…absolutely… sometimes seeing and/or naming is all it takes to head in the right direction. And often improvement isn’t doing something new as much as stopping something old. Cheers
The first run through as I read all 33, i felt joy that I was none of these. The first time through I had put names (not mine of course) of those who I thought fit the statement.
Then, as usual, your ‘questions to make you think’ caught me and I realized I needed to go through that list again.
The second time through, I realized that I was making excuses for some of my behavior. I’m a huge #27, and now I’m off to Google to find out how that impacts my leadership abilities, style, and opportunities. (Oh, i fit others too!)
Thanks for another thought provoking post that hit home. 🙂
I love sarcasm but found that when I travel to California from New York that it’s not quite so funny. My friends and I still enjoy sarcastic humor with each other… When someone screws up we make the “L” on the forehead and call them loser. But of course we are all eager to help, be helped, and make things better.
HOnestly.. I just wish everyone got me… haahahah
hahahaha good luck with that Dan! Sandy, great, now I gotta go back through all the numbers again and assign names of others committing those heinous acts of jackassery! Thanks a lot! lol kidding! Cheers!
Oh the jackassery! Love that you included your audio introspection. It’s an important model for us to follow as we read through the list. I found myself putting others in my life into number-sets of your Jackass List…until I got to the bottom! Oops! I’m a jackass. I think I most click with “Enemies outnumber friends”. But for me, it’s a lie. I often feel like the man against the world, but it isn’t true.There are lots of friends around me that I ignore or under-utilize who would love to help. Instead, I often retreat into myself. That makes me a jackass. Thanks for another great post, Dan!
Thanks for the good word Justin. I’m with you, I have to intentionally notice all the great, caring, positive, committed people around me… One bad apple seems to pollute my vision… I’m impressed with your self-reflection on this topic.
#34 Look in the Mirror, stay there long enough and eventually you will find you will perform the role of a jackass perfectly.
Ok ok ok haven’t I shared enough to be effective SHARE ONLY MY EXPERIENCE! Then I go and say YOU in number 34!
See what a Jackass I AM? hehe
The AA Big Book says there is some of the best and worst in all of us. I find you put me in the right circumstances and I am capable of an astonishing level of Jackasism! It is all good, I am just human and that is way cool!
Pivot, I would rather you hate me for being who I really am than love you for buyng into who I am pretending to be.
Here is who we are. A group of supposed Leaders whose results add up to 70% of the employees in America leave their jobs everyday feeling no one at their job cares about them. FACT!
Recent Gallop Poll, google away if you do not believe me.
There is a 180% different way, proven result FACT. 72% team mate satisfaction. There is a company whose PURPOSE is to make better PEOPLE. And they make money hand over fist, imagine that! Better yet investigate THAT!
Me, like me or not saying WE STINK with the facts to back it up. The Emporer has no clothes. Like that? Honestly, I do not care!
What I care about is those 70% of people who don’t feel anyone cares about them at their job?
What I do care about is THIS. Can I jounce you? Jounce means bounce or jolt! J word for the day!
Can I JOLT your grey matter to the DISGUSTING results WE are getting and share with you there is a better way? Can I? Up to you.
Then YOU. Will you accept the FACTS, hey take it up with Gallop if you do not like it. I am the messenger, not the message. You have the right to your own opinion, not your own facts. Keep pretending we are ALL THAT! Keep repeating and going over the stuff that apparently is not working. We aren’t doing very well! BASED ON THE RESULTS, WE STINK.
Ok so what is your opinion of failing 7 out of 10 people! Maybe you feel that is ok? Do ya?
How can any of you consider yourself a Leader and know 70% of people leave their jobs feeling no one cares and NOT BE DISGUSTED and start projectile vomiting? How is it possible this is our report card, and it does not cause you to THINK maybe we ain’t going about this right? How is that possible?
Is it cause you are gonna have to start doing something different and get outside of your famiiar comfort zone?
So I will get thumbs down maybe LOTS for saying this from my soapbox but what will the people you supposedly Lead get? The same thing you been given them that leaves 70% disengaged?
They, our people deserve better from us so I hope my JOUNCE jolts you into action in searching for a better way. You can find that by starting at a website called Truly Human Leadership.
Here is a concept, you think I am WAY off base? COOL! Go to that website, read through it then come back here and share in YOUR NOW INFORMED OPINION where I am off my rocker! I would LOVE that. I got no problem people disagreeing with me! What irks me is APATHY!
You? How you feel about apathy?
If you care, get jiggy with the Facts, then decide you are gonna do something, anything different. We just can’t keep doing the same lame jackass stuff and patting ourselves on the back for how great and wise we are.
Results don’t lie. People do. How about you?
Would rather you hate me for being who I really am rather than love ME for you buying into me pretending to you who I am.
Just a quick note on “love me for who I am”… I think distinguishing between love, approval, and acceptance is relevant here. In others words we can love someone but not approve of their behavior or accept what they do.
Sarcastic humor is sometimes the only way I can make it through the day! I think it depends on how it’s directed. I often direct it at myself or the situation. I know it can be a bad thing, but it can also be a survival skill in my opinion.
I’m with you… the focus or brunt of sarcasm is important. I do the same thing you do with my sarcastic nature.
Help! I am probably 33% jackass!!
Me too… and depending on the day…maybe more… Maybe we need a JAA program … Jackasses Annonymous
Great news!!!! You have it!!! You want it???? Lol
Just go to the AA Big Book online and every where you see alcohol insert jackass!!!!!
Be careful what u ask for!!!
It is already waiting for all of ya!!!
Only question is will u use it to help you with ur issue, YOU!! Hehe
How spectacular it will be one when one of you actually does that and understands what I am talking about! He wasn’t really crazy and an a-hole, he was right!!!!!!! Lol
Yeah, one day….
It is about the human condition not about the qualifier that gets one there.
Emily while I am not 33% Jackass maybe I am now for getting a giggle/chuckle out of your response. Not because you are 33% but just because I loved how you just stated your observation and asked for help! I am guessing you most likely are not JA just a funny caring person. But them again I am guilty of #2 and # 16 and I was just getting ready to send Dan a message. :0)
Number 2 is one of my absolutely favorites… why can’t think of myself as being positive simply because I withhold negatives? Cheers
I would appreciate hearing some thoughts and experiences on the ‘addiction to status’. Is this craving a natural part of human beings finding a place in ‘the pack’? Do you have to experience high status before you can relinquish chasing it? How did achieving it/losing it change you?
For me, having status and using it to get what we want or put others down are two separate matters.
When I look down my nose at the waiter in a restaurant or flight attendant, I know I’m too big for my britches.
I wonder if the need for status is one of our less attractive qualities as people??
#8 reminds me of the great line Christopher Walken says in the movie The Rundown: “Put him out of my misery.”
Robert, never watched the movie but almost want to after that line! It must have been the other persons fault entirely!! haha, cheers
Love it Robert… I fear I may want to use that line!! ugh… back to #27 on sarcasm… I feel like a dog chasing his tail… 🙂
Yes I think there are a few of those numbers that make you a complete Jackass, I think the big picture is that you are a “real” jackass if you don’t recognize you are doing 1 thru 33 and are not making strides to improve on the ones you are doing.
If we were perfect we would be a “real” jackass because we do not recognize that we are not perfect.
Great point! Most of us haven’t walked on water yet… 🙂
And . . . I’m a jackass!
Welcome aboard… I honestly didn’t expect this post to be this much fun.
Oh No, I have Jackass tendencies!
I knew you did… (dang there goes that sarcasm again!)
yes i am all of those and thanks to my job i have delts with all of those lol.
I see jackasses.
All the time!
Love this post, mainly because I recognized a former boss and a current friend. My sword is #31. Excuses, excuses. I learned how not to be late all of the time. Now I can work on that one.
Thanks Notes… frankly, the reason I have a reason is because I did what I did because I thought it was the right thing to do… so there! If you can follow that sentence you get to go to the head of the class.
Thanks for being a jackass who saw himself in the list and reminds the rest of us that we are on that list, too.
Great post- and a good reminder that nobody is perfect so it is good to not take these things personal possibly rummaging this image of a jackass when these things come up might be a great way to smile and walk away…LOL!!
You’re getting the intent of the post…. a little sarcasm, humor, and a touch of truth… now lets keep keeping on… 🙂
Dan I hope you don’t mind, but I intend to run off a copy of todays blog, (Your a Jack-Ass if). The next time and everytime I do some self evaluation this list will be by my side. Actually it was a bit humbling as I made my way down the list I found myself asking, (a time or two, ‘no’ though) “could Dan be talking about me”?
Hey SGT… sadly, I’m mostly talking about me… ugh… 🙂 Best wishes…
Most leaders belong to one of the two camps: Altruists or Jackass. Altruistic leaders are leaders that would go all out to please their subordinates which create a good work relationship, but the downside is that it interferes with the efficiency of their work. Jackass leaders are those that do not care much about work relationship because you are there to work and follow their directives. If you cannot follow their directives or ways of doing things, you can exit or veer to another job.
Love this. Everyone has a jackass trait. 🙂 Guess we just have to keep helping each other get better. Thanks. Really enjoyed this. We discussed it around the dinner table. Each of us found at least two within us.
ROFL. I failed to read the bonus. I was just asked about it in our discussion. The bonus is priceless. That’s why I keep telling everyone to follow Dan. You will learn if you are willing to look in the mirror. Weak people need to read this but many won’t. Weakness is afraid to face what’s really weak. You can’t change without acknowledging the need to do so. Love this Dan! Love this! Keep it up! I get better by the day!
Reblogged this on IAm Synt and commented:
This is awesome. A must read and listen.
#25. Ouch. Even though I work on this and my brain bursts with ideas…interrupting people = jackass. Dang it.
oh crap. I did see myself on this list. I have alot of self development to do.
Holy cow. This post was hilarious and yes, I see myself on this list. I had some of the same items as you. Great post for all leaders to reflect on. Loved the embedded sound clip. Gotta do that to my blog. Thanks for writing this.
Does judging your boss with this list, make me a jackass?
Sorry to say this but you’re oh so very wrong. Only a poor leader would post that.
I enjoy many of your posts. However i dislike this one. oh so many of what you listed relate more to leader than subordinate. I feel it undermines your reputation.
As usual, I LOVE this article. However, I must ask: Do you mean to suggest that sarcastic humor SHOULDN’T be one’s default humor? Is there another kind? (and yes, I recognize the implied sarcasm)
A suggested addition to your list: “You are a jackass if you needed this list to know that you are”!
Great list. I am in need of therapy!