The Illusion of Desire
Recurring gossip, blame, and complaining indicate you want things to change, but you haven’t done anything about it.
Wanting change increases frustration when old behaviors continue.
Tell me what you’re doing to achieve what you want.
The value of frustration is it tells you what’s wrong.
Nagging frustration indicates it’s time to take imperfect steps to achieve unmet desires.
Leadership has seasons of frustration. The question is, what behavior will you adopt to address frustration. Trying harder isn’t the answer. More of the same won’t work. Try something different.
New behaviors, not desire, changes things.
What makes you think things will be different? Give behavioral answers.
- You respond poorly to negative feedback. What specifically will you do next time to create a positive response.
- You’re stuck at your current level. What new imperfect behaviors must you adopt to rise to the next level?
- The team fell short. What behaviors will make things different next time?
Life remains as it was until you change what you do.
Wanting different results is great, but inadequate.
An aspiring leader failed because others felt he was aloof, arrogant, and a know-it-all.
“What do you do that makes people think you’re aloof.”
“I stand with my arms crossed and tell them why their ideas won’t work.”
“What could you do differently?”
“I could uncross my arms.”
At the time of our conversation, his hands were on the table, clasped and pointing at me. I asked if he could remove the barrier between us by unclasping his hands and spreading them apart. He sat there with a quizzical look on his face, not moving.
Until we adopt new imperfect behaviors, the past will continue as it was.
How might leaders overcome the illusion that wanting things to change is the same as working to change them?
What new imperfect behavior would you like to try today?
“It’s time to take imperfect steps…” I’m often afraid of taking a step unless I know it will be perfect. It’s a terrible burden to need to be perfect. Yet taking action, even imperfect, leads to the change needed and the desired outcomes. Thanks for that reminder.
Do SOMETHING, even if it is wrong! There is an old saying about the definition of insanity. . . doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different outcome.
this is a reaffirmation of the old saying I learned in a bowling league decades ago “change your line, change your luck”
Don’t sacrifice great for perfect…begin somewhere…amazing changes DO happen!
Great reminder — it starts with ME! Also reminds me of another saying from Ken Blanchard, “A problem only exists if there is a difference between what is actually happening and what you desire to be happening.”
Before you change anything, make sure nobody is going to nail your hide to the wall because you didn’t follow the required procedures, sign off on all the protocols and ensure everything was fully compliant with the latest version of the quality manuals and SOP’s. Structure acts to reduce your ability to change.
“Imperfect Steps” with a goal is far better than seeking the perfect procedure. Self-assessment through careful reflection, leading to refining of future steps will optimize outcomes. We can’t shoot from the hip, we need a plan. But, engage hoping for no imperfect steps – however, expecting there will like be some: learning opportunities, NOT negative downers…
Good morning Dan;
Frustration is a part of every leaders life. What sets average leaders apart from great leaders is how they react to frustration. Average leaders allow frustration to cloud thier vision of organizational mission. Progress slows to a screaching halt as indecision begins to set in. Some folks will simply amp-up thier present approach. Problem is, that appraoch most likely contributed to our frustration. Great leaders will remain positive during these times. They remain focused on ‘The BIG Picture’ while celebrating small victories along the way. (REMEMBER); your not the only leader who’s had to deal with frustration, many have been down the road you are traveling now, survived, and walk away a better leader for the experience. This is when your individual positive Networking efforts begin to pay dividend’s. It all starts with ‘YOUR’ willingness to help others during ‘thier’ time of need. When we are there for others when they need our help, chances are very good they’ll be there for us when we need help. It’s what makes the world go round.
It’s the little things we do when nobody’s around & we think no-ones watching that determine our integrity. To succeed you must have the power & determination to take action with great conviction, coupled with strong communication skills and an eloquent speaking manner. This powerful combination get’s your point across effectivley and with tremendous passion.
Keep focused, & keep doing the right things and eventually, “Good things WILL happen!”
Just spent two day’s at the academy working on Leadership Developement.
Dan we are getting dangerously close to officially sigining into effect the departments 1st “Faith Based Leadership Developement Training Program.” I AM SO-O-O AMPED…
I love the idea of “imperfect steps”. That’s very freeing. Also simple, but not easy!
Thanks Edie. I’ve taken to using “imperfect steps” most of the time, when I talk about forward movement. “what’s the next imperfect step forward?”
How refreshing and right on time! Thanks for the reminder. I needed to be reminded that it is easy to complain about what I think should happen and how I think it should be done. It all starts with me deliberately approaching life situations differently!