The Truth About Self-Kindness
It’s hard for me to believe that I’m even thinking about self-kindness.
I’m old school. Words like self-love and self-kindness set me on edge. We need responsibility and hard work, not self-kindness. Us old schoolers don’t need self-kindness. It’s for the weak.
I’m not saying it’s right. It’s just inside me.
My thinking changes when I realize that high performance requires eating right, knowing my peak performance rhythms, honoring my strengths, and challenging myself.
Self-awareness is useless until it includes taking care of yourself.
Passionate full engagement is self-kind:
Any form of self-kindness that ultimately aims for ease is gift wrapped self-sabotage.
It’s unkind to yourself when you aim low, give up easily, and bring half your heart.
There’s nothing satisfying about half-hearted effort.
Self-kindness includes self-respect. Sweaty effort is how we learn to respect ourselves.
Leaders with self-kindness:
- Reach a bit higher.
- Set short-timelines.
- Forgive responsible failure.
- Start again. Success is built on second chances.
Meaningful satisfying work requires full engagement.
Self-kindness sets you up for maximum success.
Be kind to yourself:
#1. Extend your effectiveness.
Sustained efforts to reach high requires self-kindness. Think sleep, for example.
#2. Deal with difficult issues in a timely manner.
Delay increases anxiety and stress. Putting off a tough conversation isn’t kind to anyone, including yourself.
#3. Reject rudeness – expect courtesy.
Don’t let others – even customers – treat you with disrespect or rudeness. Consider a rude customer who swears at you. Customer service isn’t elevated when you let someone treat you with contempt.
- Speak kindly. “Mr. Customer, I want to resolve your concern.”
- Speak directly. “If you continue to swear at me, I’m going to hang up the phone.”
- Make allowances. “Would you like me to call you back to discuss this issue later today?
What, if anything, concerns you about self-kindness?
If you were going to be kind to yourself, what might you do?