How to get others to appreciate your great ideas?

Being supportive means going-with rather than going-against.

I was having coffee with a few local business men when I realized again that going against can be annoying.

A negative listening habit:

When you make a statement, my inclination is to think or speak otherwise. I’m a “what about this” person. I used to think it was a sign of intelligence when I offered improvements or suggestions. After all, someone said genius is the ability to think otherwise.

In conversations with people, however, thinking otherwise is more likely irritating than genius. An ill thought out “what about” throws cold water on others.

A positive speaking habit:

When the jolt of my epiphany subsided I started “going with” rather than against. It’s amazing how others feel supported when you go with their ideas rather than against.

The right to speaking otherwise:

At this point, you may be thinking what’s the point? If we bury our head in the sand, stand close and feel all warm and fuzzy, what’s the point of talking?

You earn the right to be heard by hearing others. Going with someone’s ideas first, earns the right to go against later.

Principle: Listen more than anyone else and others will appreciate your great ideas and wise suggestions.

Understanding another person’s ideas opens their ears to your ideas. St. Francis of Assisi put it this way, “Seek first to understand, then to be understood.”

Not universally true:

Don’t discount the idea of going-with rather than against because it’s not universally true. There are times and situations where going against is useful, even expected. I’m betting you’re good at going-against but, like me, a little slow going-with.


How do you open the door so others will hear, understand, and appreciate your great ideas?


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