I Hate my Boss
I’ve been asking people if they ever had a boss they hated.
The follow up question, “How did you deal with them?” The first thing they usually say, “I avoided them.”
- Disenfranchise by hanging with other bosses and ignoring “the troops.” Snobbery, even if it’s unintentional, is off putting.
- Deflate when trying to motivate. They shame, make negative comparisons, and belittle, for example.
- Demoralize with favoritism. Quality of work is irrelevant when the boss has a golden child.
- Dishearten with disengagement and laziness. You’d be surprised how frequent the complaint of laziness comes up.
- Devalue effort by ignoring progress.
- Discourage by changing direction in midstream.
- Disappoint by excluding. They make decisions in isolation. Seldom seek input. Talk first and listen last.
Bonus: Hated bosses won’t make decisions.
Visit Facebook to read, “Top reasons people hate their bosses include _________.” (8/29/2013)
How to be loved:
- Win! Define wins. Create wins. Celebrate wins. Everybody loves a winner. What’s today’s win?
- Inspire belief. Help people believe in themselves, the team, the future. Loved leaders bolster belief.
- Talk about where we’re going, constantly. Work becomes drudgery if all it is work. Vision gives sweat purpose. Create a future.
- Spend more time creating happiness. Negative environments happen; positive require focused effort. One negative comment weighs three times as much as a positive. Smile more. Cheer more.
- Avoid the importance trap. Make others feel important. You matter most when you make others matter. Show respect rather than demanding it.
- Give away all the credit. Yes, all! Focus on what they’re doing, not what you’re doing. Don’t pat yourself on the back. It’s pathetic.
- Tell people what you want. Everyone hates self-protective, cowardly bosses who never get to the point.
What do “hated” bosses do?
How can leaders be more loved?
Forget that they are leading human beings…
Well resentment according to the AA Big Book is our number one offender.
Hope our newest group members pay attention. Try not to think your old thoughts much, they are what got you in such a mess.
Oh the new group. Procrastinators Anonymous. Remember how many of you bloviated on that topic the other day, means you qualify so pay attention I will show you the way out.
Acceptance is the Key. Things are unfolding exactly as they are designed too. Take a stance of an Interested Observer. Just watch and ponder, be entertained by the show. The show will go on inspite of your deciding to enjoy or hate it!!! You aren’t the show so quit playing God you silly wabbit!!!
Let God direct the show. You watch!!!! Spiritual, not religious. If you see a dastardly villain, just watch, do not engage emotionally, just watch. See how funny it is they think they are gonna get what think is gonna make them happy!! It won’t!! If they get “that” treating gods kids like that they still ain’t gonna be happy!!!! Just laugh at them and forgive them cause they just don’t know what they are doing.
Easy technique out of stinking thinking! Resentment keeps us out of NOW, the moment of creation. Refeeling past hurts distracts us from the show unfolding right in front of us. Don’t refeel all day long. Stay nimble in the present.
Technique, Emmett Fox of course!!! The Golden Key!!!! It is simply this…”Think About God Instead”.
A-holes are still gonna be a-holes so can you see how stupid you are to spend your time refeeling bad crap you think they did to you? They did something you chose to tell you what it meant!!!! See all past tense you idiot? Lol it is over and fine with let it go already!!! Lol. Saying idiot in the most loving and empathetic way I can by the way. I am an idiot too!!!! Hehe
So I suggest quit being stupid!!!!!! Lol. Stop refeeling stuff that already happened and think about God NOW!!!
Or try all that whatever Dan suggested above!!!!
AA Big Book says our thought plane will be place on a new level. Hope some of you might see that and start realizing this book ain’t about not drinking. Not drinking is a result of living this Spiritual Program.
I could go on for days on this subject but won’t. Just say what goes around comes around. Boss I got along with the least got fired two weeks ago!!!! Took 7 years after he fired me. Good news I did not spend 7 years refeeling him.
He had to live with him every moment, that was enough justice for me. I forgave him cause he is awfully confused what being a spiritual being having a human experience is all about and how to treat gods kids. Gods a working on him though of that I am certain.
Last, don’t jump in the mudpit and wrestle with the pig. You both get dirty and the pig likes it. Watch others do it as in Interested Observer! Only one problem which includes all problems, conscious separation from God. Only one solution, cnnscious contact with God!
I suggest you make your conscious contact NOW and as you notice with your undisciplined mind how many times away you disconnect, be easy on yourself and just reconnect is all. No need to be harsh on yourself as you relearn to think clearly. It ain’t easy, some dudes spend their whole lives in monestaries just practicing thinking and not thinking, all day long, everyday!!
I hear tell you hear this interesting sound when you don’t think at all!!!! That sounds COOL!!!!!
Mount up Procrastinating Regulators!!!! Clear thinking ahead!!!! Or maybe hearing that sound when we get to no thinking!!!! Wowza!!!!
I Concur, thanks Frank
SP back to my present….NOW!!!!!
Reblogged this on IAm Synt.
#7 can be a sticky one. You want them to come up with conclusions on their own, but you also want it done the way you want it.
I’ve had good bosses so I’m not qualified to speak to this… however, when I saw (or felt) misunderstanding coming I got ahead of it with a meeting. I avoided surprising them or telling them when it was too late. When “Plan B” was called for I engaged them as a resource. It worked for me!
I saw your article today. It’s interesting because I wrote an article about leaving my last boss. I never hated my boss, but I didn’t trust him. That was probably worse.
Lack of trust will destroy any relationship– personal or professional!
Hated bosses do everything that make them feel superior. They make almost everyone feel that boss only has power. Bosses try to realize others that they are important. One important quality of hated boss is that perhaps people can not escape from him. Boss try to find out people who are not visible or not meeting bosses. Hated bosses also expect people to appreciate them, satisfy their ego. And those who questions become targets. There could be two kind of hated bosses. First, those who are incompetent and hence create distance from competent people. Second, those who do not to overtake them, they want to remain in power. But in both the cases, Ego and ignorance play important role. They suffer from fear of losing power or being exposed.
And the way to overcome such behavior is to accept and engage with people. Accepting what they are is the key.
I find your comments really valuable, concise and compassionate. Appreciate your contributions to the dialogue, it adds to my reading
Leaders can be more loved when you make a mistake or really screw something up and you tell them about it, the first thing they ask or do is to try and help solve the problem. They dont blast you or berate you, They work toward a solution and guide you to the path of success…this automatically brings about the learning experience. The loved leaders NEVER have to bring up your actual mistake because they know mistakes happen..it’s a part of life. Believe me, after you have a boss like that it changes your entire mindset. The leader takes on the weight of your mistake and allows you to continue to perform. If you are a true professional, you realize this and will “run through a brick wall” for this leader.
Hated bosses also cause anxiety, fear, and uncertainty by bullying, perpetually second-guessing, and insisting to the extreme that no one else knows as much as they do or can do as good a job as they can. PLEASE don’t be that kind of person (whether you are a “leader” or not).
No one makes me feel anything.
I am the Master of My Emotions.
I am only upset if I am upset-able.
Till I GET THAT I am nothing more than a miserable victim.
Just the way I roll trudging the road to happy destiny.
SP back to the present!
I didn’t hate my boss but I feel as though I was despised by him…NOT A GOOD FEELING AT ALL. Especially for one working extremely hard. Hatred is such a toxic substance and it is also contagious especially from the top down…It can morph into a form of subtle bullying that infects others. They don’t want to be the object of scorn so they support, uphold, aid in the the continuance of the attitudes or behaviors in hopes that they will not be put into the line of fire.The thing about it is that once you have a reputation for being “hated” it is extremely hard to be seen in a more positive life. With hatred comes distrust and with distrust comes suspicion and fear. Not that every opinion of a person is valid but as leaders we must be aware of perceptions as they can affect productivity and morale.
Don’t worry about what other people think of you cause they rarely do.
They are worrying about what u think of them.
See the insanity?
Reblogged this on Movers, Shakers, Leadership Makers.
Thanks for a trip down memory lane. My last boss followed all the don’ts like a manual, and occasionally stumbled on a few of the do’s.
I look at it all as a stockpile of fuel to help me become the leader I am today. Your post is great inspiration to me and likely helps ignite in many others.
I cannot say i have ever hated a boss, perhaps I could say that as I did find not find them credible I then found to my own shame and subsequent learning that I hated my behaviour toward them as a result.
Other bad qualities include as mentioned being inhuman, insincere and when the trust goes then that tends to be it for me…!
I would say that I have learned more from the bad ones though over the 2o years I have been in management
There is learning in every situation, isn’t there? My daughter recently had a brutal boss and as she said, “Well, now I know what not do.”
“Hate” is a strong word that I try not to use. So let’s just say that I have had two bosses over the course of the years that were blockheads along the lines suggested above. In one case, I was able to manage up most days and between that and wearing asbestos underwear, survived the ordeal. In the other, I was younger and it was the cause of my being written up by HR for the only time in my career. Life lesson. As always, Dan, thank you for the thoughts to ponder.
This is so true of many organizations today with bosses who have climbed the ladder but with no leadership skills. As a leader of people you need to keep your focus on your direct reports, and keep them focused and happy making them feel part of the solution and not the problem. Leave that up to your boss and shield them from that.
I think that the boss that micromanages is probably the worst.
But the verbal abusive boss sucks also.
That is my two cents.
I had one boss who could do no wrong and ensured that we all knew that. He regularly blamed us for mistakes he made. I would have given anything to have had him admit an error…just once. I lost all respect for the man (who was a friend of ours). I quit that job because of him and our friendship has never been the same.
Refusing to admit error to avoid looking weak is one sure way of looking weak.
I find it immensely interesting and beautiful how good leadership traits are pretty much exactly the way Jesus did his work. Coincidence? I think not!
This is good. Hate is a strong word, I disliked a boss once. He asked me ” what is your next career goal” I replied..(the position I wanted was on the same pay scale as him). He looks at me ” well I can’t help you, I’ve never developed that level of employee”. I have always been one to take charge of my own career so this bothered me.. learning new skills is a challenge and a need for me. When my boss told me that, I was crushed and became deflated… and honestly it was the first time in my career that I started looking for other companies to work for. I thought if my own boss can’t see my passion and worth then what am I doing. I let it build and build until I was at a complete loss in my career. I was ready to run.I was doing the day to day without passion or drive. Bosses have the ability to really impact you. Its strange.. on one hand i wanted this boss to know my passion and excitement and on the other I wanted to be as far away as I could. I realized if I wanted career growth my boss wasn’t the person to ask. Instead of being angry, I asked myself.. how do i move past this barrier or challenge?. To me a great boss is someone who has more insight than myself ( can I learn from this person?)Someone who Can energize me and give me a purpose beyond monetary gain.A lot of bosses make a hiring decision to hire for the skills they lack ( makes sense). I need a boss that will challenge me to learn the skills that I lack. I want them to be candid and open.. tell me what I need to do to be successul and challenge me with a new skill. As an individual I have to grow personally or professionaly and when I don’t I get bored. I also understand that every one has opportunities. I would never say I hated a boss but I do know what I like in a boss. Good Post! Thanks
This in my opinion he was your greatest boss.
Maybe he knew there were things he knew were not for him to show u but to show you to discover those things in you. All your talents are in you.
Love Browning. To open a way whence the inprisoned splendor may escape.
Maybe what he did humbly was the purpose for you to see how you responded to not so guided guidance.
Lots of fakers tell others what they think they should do. How about teaching a person to learn to think for themselves?
I think you would benefit from working for that guy for many years to come. Years go by you woukd really know how to do what wirked best for u. Much more than some authoritative egomaniac telling you to do what they think is best. Who says they know what gods purpose is for u? Only you can find that out deep within u.
Just how I roll!!! If you like it great, if you hate it no biggie! Can only share what I got, don’t share my talents they disapear!!!
One thing left is are the temperamental bosses who routinely fly off the handle. Cool heads prevail in a much more effective manner to achieve measurable results IMO.