The Pussy Cat Problem

pussy cat

I’ll never forget the day an honest soul said, “I think you like to intimidate people.” I wanted to yell, “No I don’t!”

Stop pretending you’re a pussy cat. You intimidate, even if you don’t intend to.

Successful leaders connect.

You can’t connect with someone you intimidate.

Pussy cats and tigers:

You think you’re a pussy cat. But they think you’re a tiger.  You focus on the adjustments you’re making and say, “See how much I adapt to others.” They think about pleasing the boss and meeting expectations.

Intimidation is easy. Connecting, on the other hand, requires wisdom, focus, and humility.

Overcoming unintended intimidation:

  1. Think of leading as serving.
  2. Stop saying you’re just one of the boys. Failure to appreciate how others view you is part of the problem.
  3. Stop congregating in public with other leaders. Walk and talk with “normal” folk. Stop protecting yourself with an entourage.
  4. Get out more. Isolation is a self-protective excuse. It’s easier for you to stay isolated. Make it normal for people to see the boss.
  5. Learn how to handle inappropriate topics. “Thanks for bringing that up but I can’t deal with that in public.”
  6. Reject the pressure to give quick answers to tough questions.
  7. Show interest and gentle curiosity. But, don’t get too interested. They’ll wonder what you’re after. If you see a picture of the family, ask about it.
  8. Reach out first. Give yourself extra time when walking from one meeting to another so you can pause and say high.
  9. Smile for goodness sake. You don’t need to frown to demonstrate importance and power. Just turn the corners of your mouth up. Maintain gravity but frown on frowns.
  10. Eat in public places. Go to the cafeteria. Constant interruptions are tough but worth it.

You may feel like a pussy cat but they see a tiger.

How can leaders limit unintended intimidation?

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