7 Ways to Break Destructive Patterns
Lousy leaders solve the same problems over and over.
When problems feel familiar, negative patterns prevail.
The real problem:
The difference between success and failure is how quickly you see and deal with destructive patterns. How many times will you solve the same problem, before you acknowledge the problem isn’t the issue?
The pattern is the problem.
Dealing with problems is the work of leadership. Leadership begins with problem recognition and solution creation. But, leaders who keep solving the same problems don’t see the problem.
Solving recurring frustration and failure distracts from the real problem.
The real problem is failure to acknowledge that you’re solving the same problems.
The root of destructive patterns:
What you did or didn’t do – before you failed – reveals the reason you failed. Don’t solve recurring failures; solve root causes. When you repeatedly fail, in the same way, you are the issue!
What you know:
- You were doing your best.
- You were doing what you thought was good.
- You were doing what you thought would work.
It’s uncomfortable to own destructive patterns because you didn’t plan to fail.
You are the reason destructive patterns persist.
7 ways to break destructive patterns:
- Acknowledge your best falls short. (I know. It hurts.)
- Don’t blame others. Take responsibility. Own it.
- What are you assuming will happen that doesn’t? Why doesn’t it happen?
- Expose the pattern to others within your organization. See what they have to say.
- Listen to people who are closest to the work.
- Bring in outsiders. No one sees you better than someone who hasn’t seen you before.
- Identify key success factors. What are you leaving undone? What must stop? What must be done?
Destructive patterns boil down to pivotal moments when poor choices are repeated.
Why do leaders ignore destructive patterns?
What behaviors break destructive patterns?
Excellent. Always go to the root cause before fixing or setting policy. Another addition to the Rockwall, Dan.
I do have one question, though. I am wondering if “lousy” leader is the best term for weak or unenlightened or non-leaders in leadership positions. I mean, “lousy leader” has a nice cadence and alliteration to boot, but there is a side of me that would like to find a word that implies an opportunity for improvement. I can’t say that I have the word to suggest, but “lousy” sounds unnecessarily judgmental. Am I picking a point? What do you think.
Enjoy this glorious Saturday.
Thanks Steven. Like the addition of don’t set policy until you’ve explored root causes.
You are making a powerful point re: lousy. It makes me cringe. On one hand I want to poke at issues and instigate response. On the other, going too far doesn’t help the cause.
As a long-time reader, you know I tend to push things. I’d love to come up with an evocative term that feels more positive or forward looking.
Between you and I, I’ve been that lousy leader many times. 🙂
I’ll work on it, Dan. As leaders of leaders, it’s not the way we would want to speak to someone we are leading. I’m still at a loss for a word as compact, though.
Besides, I’ve also been that lousy leader too many times to count. It’s a large club, I imagine. 😃
I feel a need to confess that I would never use lousy leader to someone’s face.
Of course you wouldn’t, Dan. 😃
Once we’re confessing… I’ve been that lousy leader too!
I agree it is an excellent post- and that “lousy” may inadvertently interfere with the message, as it might alienate someone that might really benefit from it.
I was thinking.. maybe we need a word that describes the impact of the actions described rather than the nature of the person engaging in those actions. That way you are like a mirror to people, helping them to connect impact with intention without anyone feeling judged.
So, to that end… what about “limiting leader”… I am being deliberate in saying “limiting” which is about the impact rather than “limited” which is about the person.
I think the message is too important to risk getting stuck on hurt feelings.
Thanks for another powerful, important post Dan!
Have a great day!
Lori
I desire a sense of ease and comfort.
I have a mind 5% of the time focused on now in the present and 95% on how things did or did not work out before.
Then I got two fears running around in my head, losing what I got, not getting what I feel I need.
This is why I am preoccupied keeping me from ignoring destructive patterns, I am stuck in my own 95% of the time.
The way out…..conscious choice of thoughts now. Happy now, Vision of the future.
EpiGenetics shows environment the game changer for the cells.
My choice of thoughts therefore the game changer for me cause they are my environment in my head.
All very simple stuff when I have a grasp on how my mind works, without that all bets are off.
It is what precedes behaviors that are important. First things first!! Thoughts!!
Go ahead try a behavior with no thought first!!!
Get to the source.
Tough because even though I understand how this works I have an undisciplined mind and without Gods help I am toast!!
SP
EA
How can we get our political leaders to read this article? They could certainly do with a little “pattern busting”.
Leslie
OUCH. Helpful, informative, important and yes, a little work on ‘Lousy Leader’ might help but it may be the sting that pushes us forward. On the other hand, I’d be a more effective leader if I used encouragement as the motivating force for people rather than this kind of…judgment.
Thanks Susan. I appreciate your feedback.
fresh blood is new ideas.
Thanks billgncs. If we can just find the wisdom and courage to invite it in and listen….
Nice post. We all need to break our routine patterns.
“Why do leaders ignore destructive patterns?” Well a self-aware dishonest leader uses destructive leadership for their own gain. Some leaders use a modus operandi to perpetuate a negative environment to further their cause often with no regard to whom they may hurt. Sadly this probably happens more often than not.
Employees that find themselves in an organization of destructive leadership may have to step up and lead positively wherever they can. This may not be easy since stepping up may put a target on your back. But that is the true test of leadership, those who step forward during difficult times.
Thanks Michael. It’s always sad when unethical leaders put themselves ahead of their organization. It takes courage, resolve, and skill to step up in these situations.
Thanks Scott. The square wheels theme really works!
I just started following you – Great article. I have been the “lousy” leader at times – more importantly, I have been a “lousy” learner. What made me read the article was the word problem because I am a problem solver. While the word lousy may be offensive, it is only offensive to those that don’ t recognize the problem. At the root is me-you-us and behavior driven by motivation and desires. Maybe the words that describes this pattern could be Problematic (behavior) Leadership (me-you-us).
Great insight that has become your hallmark, Dan. Most of your articles gives me that wonderful feeling of joy one gets from learning and relating personally to that message.
I have been a senior executive in global companies for the last five years with accountability for regional sales. I have seen a repeating pattern by Exec management in the head office when sales slows or doesn’t meet expectations. They blame it on sales people and want to change them. They cannot think beyond that pattern to analyze whether sales are poor because A) Customer doesn’t see value in the product / service B) There is no clear differentiation between competitors products C) Industry trends might be changing and the product / service that was once successful may no longer be hot D) Other parts of the organization may not be supporting sales people effectively, etc. For Exec Managers the classic and easy response is to replace Sales people on the ground. I have never seen sales grow in any sustainable way after those moves.
Great prompt to get you thinking about what’s really going on.
I don’t have a problem with ‘lousy’ as leaders who don’t take the time to work out why they aren’t growing or solving the problems are either complacent, incompetent or colluding.
I agree it starts with taking personal responsibility but I like to use the ‘Five Whys’ process to get from the symptom to the underlying root cause.
When you can identify and tackle the real root cause (or causes) then you can make real progress.