Dealing with Destructive Leadership
Wise leaders give and receive correction.
Incompetent leaders tear down and poison relationships.
Correction cp. criticism:
- Correction builds up. Criticism tears down.
- Correction looks to the future. Criticism camps in the past.
- Correction makes something better. Criticism points out what’s wrong.
- Correction is for the advantage of others. Criticism is for personal protection.
Criticism is a relationship killer.
Critics belong to the genus Destructus Maximus.
Anyone can tear down. It takes insight, skill, and compassion to build up.
You’re a relationship killer if:
#1. You assume people have negative motives. (Yesterday’s post.)
#2. You magnify the faults of others and minimize your own. (Yesterday’s post.)
#3. The last time you affirmed, thanked, or showed appreciation the Wooly Mammoth grazed the ancient plains of the Arctic.
You’re a destructive leader if you haven’t said thank you in 24 hours.
If you think showing gratitude is for weaklings, you’re a relationship killer.
If the thought of showing appreciation to three people today makes your palms sweat, you’re a Destructus Maximus.
- Go on daily gratitude walks. No criticism allowed!
- Give personal affirmations to direct reports at least twice a month. Put it on your calendar.
- List the positive qualities of the person you’re meeting with – before you meet with them.
#4. You’re a relationship killer if you haven’t apologized since the Paleo Diet was invented by Fred Flintstone.
You’re a critic if you’re never wrong.
Leaders who use their strengths to evaluate others are critics.
You might need to apologize if:
- Team members are floundering.
- Your organization feels like a funeral.
- You can’t remember the last time you apologized.
- Take responsibility for the success of your teams.
- Avoid using the faults of others to justify your own shortcomings.
- Say, “I was wrong,” when you make mistakes.
What do leaders do that poison relationships, teams, or organizations?
How might leaders strengthen relationships?
What simple behavior suggested above might you practice today?