15 Ways to Make Your Voice Matter
Pathetic talkers – talk after listeners check out. Blabbing leaders have something to say and it doesn’t matter that people in the room have turned to bored, lifeless manikins. They keep blabbing.
Talkative leaders talk long past
Distracting talkers – tweak, guide, correct, add, and adjust ad infinitum ad nauseum. They unnecessarily prolong meetings with irritating jabber concerning insignificant issues, for example. Their drivel often begins with, “And don’t forget… or one more thing.” Gag me with a spoon.
The need to matter makes leaders talk more but matter less.
Please hit mute. (All exhausted followers are cheering right now!) When was the last time someone said, “Please talk at me more?”
But there’s more:
Your voice has power for evil or good.
Make your voice matter by talking about
what matters, when it matters.
Talk more when:
- Listening occurred first. Listen with your ears and your heart. The more you need to say, the more you need to listen.
- People need affirmation. You matter most when speaking to hearts not heads.
- Talking connects you with others. Sharing your heart connects you.
- Issues are dodged. Call out elephants. Say the tough stuff.
- The top stifles the bottom. Confront authoritarianism. Free people.
- “What” not “how” is on the table. Leaders who explain “how” are in the way.
- You see the big picture and others don’t. (Inspired by a recent conversation with Peter Block.)
- Blabbers keep blabbing. Interrupt! Please!
- Urgency overshadows priority.
- Direction wanders.
- Values are violated.
- Information is needed and you’re the one who has it.
- Curiosity bubbles up. Talk to explore.
- Confusion reigns. Beware; more talking usually creates more confusion.
- You’re an introvert. The silence of introverts makes extroverts uneasy.
Bonus: Talk about others more than yourself.
From the other side: 10 Power Tips for Leaders who Talk TOO Much.
How can leaders make their voice matter?
“Listening occurred first…” what a powerful statement. I’m going to share your list with my teams. Here’s some of my thinking on this important topic.
Love your post Karin. Thanks for extending the conversation.
Humorous but brilliant, thanks for the read Dan!
Thanks Lou…sad but true.
Say less to more people.
Ask more questions.
When you do talk make it about showing those you are talking to about sharing with them how accomplishing what you are up to together gets THEM closer to what they want. Remember THEM is all about THEM, figure that out and act accordingly.
Three simple things
1. Here is what I got
2. Here is what it will do for you
3. Here is what I need for you to do next.
Just keep it that simple and move the rock..
The Dude Abides.
I Concur and Connect
“Remember them is all about them.” KaChing!
Totally agree. Especially about confusion. In my experience confusion needs to be ‘asked’ out rather than ‘explained’ out.
oooo.. love the “asked” out rather than “explained” out. Powerful.
I have been guilty of talking too much on many occasions. Now, I try to frame my points as questions, where possible. It stops me quicker and the other person usually gets the point.
Dan talk too much too. 🙂
To quote a recent Seminar speaker “K.I.S.S.” (Keep in simple stupid)
Listening only counts if we understand….sometimes that can turn into babbling is some aspect to get the point accross, due to lack of knowledge etc.
For those of us who think and talk or talk and think or talk to think….this is a bit awkward.
Talk after you listen. Listening is a very simple yet effective way to cause people to return the favor. Great post Dan!
And the secret to good listening is to shut our mouths and NOT plan to talk. If you master those two things you are ready to engage in active listening, not before.
…when confusion reigns… well said! and the leader emerges as the one (or more) who can take all the talking and input and render it down to its essence. we have a whiteboard and are always scribbling on it. noone leaves until the meeting has some kind of conclusion. otherwise it’s just a chat about things and all the talk adds nothing, even more if one person would be doing all the talking and not let anyone else participate. If so, we would feel frustrated and direction-less, with no greater understanding than before – worse than if we had just been left alone, maybe
… urgency overshadows priority … that’s a big theme here and i am grateful for hearing it in all the interesting contexts in which this community brings it
Thanks for adding your story . Love the white board idea.
Your points apply to writing as well. Get to the point and keep it, “brief and amazing”!
I tried to interrupt a senior manager once. Now I know they don’t really want to listen, just talk.
Sad but true. Maybe a shock collar???
The BONUS! Thank you!! “Talk about others more than yourself.” Always a great reminder.
I’d like to comment but I want to talk about me, not you!! Oh I am talking about me!
This isn’t an exact quote, although Eleanor Roosevelt once said that small minds talk about others, medium minds talk about events, and large minds discuss ideas.
Thank you for another great post. A Twitter kind of approach to work talk would be highly productive. ” Say it in x number of words or you dont get to say it at all “
I loved the last one.
I would have never guessed that the silence of an introvert makes extroverts uneasy. No wonder “It’s the quiet ones you have to watch” 🙂
I do know that an introverts silence leaves a vacuum where people can jump to their own conclusions – often from their own fears or insecurities. This is a part of the pain of shyness.
It seems the best remedy is to speak up.
Thank you Dan.
Great post, it seems so many times we want to get a point across instead of understanding the other, i also hear every interaction is Growth so listening at first begets Mutual Elevation, and a more loving approach then dictator one… Keep up the great thoughts