How Negative Impulse Triggers Positive Response
Negative impulses are useful when they produce positive results.
Redirect negative impulses toward positive actions.
Great achievements emerge when negative impulses trigger positive responses.
#1. Anger – Openness:
Stop resisting anger. Use it for good.
Angry people think they’re right. You know the embarrassment of being angry and discovering you’re wrong.
Redirect anger to openness.
Redirect anger from your mouth to your ears. What do you need to hear, not what do you need to say.
Angry people have caveman IQs. Curiosity, openness, and creativity sit on the sidelines until you chill out.
Use anger as a trigger to take a fifteen minute walk around the block.
Angry people want others to change. Use anger to explore how you might change.
Angry people want something to stop. What should YOU start?
Angry people know what they don’t like. What do you want and why does it matter?
Angry people want control. What might you let go?
#2. Bragging – Honoring:
Take all the credit if your goal is to deflate and de-energize.
Every time you feel like bragging, honor someone.
Instead of taking all the credit, give all the credit.
Never bask. Always reflect.
Would you give your best energy to a leader who takes credit or gives credit?
#3. Complaining – Responsibility.
Complainers are good at three things.
- Explaining what they don’t like.
- Describing what others should do. “You should.”
- Avoiding personal responsibility. “It’s not my fault.” Complainers never complain about the stupid things they do.
The difference between complaining and responsibility is solution.
Redirect complaint-making to solution-finding.
#4. Isolation – Courage.
Use isolation as a trigger for courage. Step toward things you want to avoid.
The difference between isolation and courage is purpose.
Isolation is self-serving. Purpose provides a reason to step out.
What negative temptation might become a trigger that produces positive results?
- Worry – Preparation.
- Nitpicking last time – Reaching higher next time.
- Isolation – Connection.
- Solving FOR – Solving WITH.
How Negative Leaders Become Positive Today (Leadership Freak)
What are Negative Emotions and How to Control Them? (PPP)
Why Negative Emotions Aren’t That Bad (And How to Handle Them) (Life Hack)
Understanding the source of the anger may help in redirecting it to a positive situation.
Did they come to event angry from previous encounter and they carry with them into the meeting, work, event etc. So qualm the mood to perhaps, I understand you had a bad experience which we have nothing to do with, perhaps will get the individual to reposition their outlook for a positive event.
Often temper tantrums and anger were fueled by totally different circumstances.z
Happy Labor day to all! Cheers
Thanks Tim. When someone seems mad at you, it may be something else that’s bothering them. Love that.
Happy Labor Day to you too.
Nugget of the day “Redirect anger from your mouth to your ears. What do you need to hear, not what do you need to say”. Me and my wife have a rule, I will work on not letting things roll off my tongue if she will work on letting things roll off her back. In short I will work on my anger and what I say when I am mad and she will work on not taking my words so personnel.
Challenge of the week. Dealing with the attitude of “this is how we have always done it” as the new leader of a team and your assistant likes to keep things the way they have always been no matter what. I can use parts of today post to deal with this. As always good stuff Dan.
People in leadership and management positions should delve into the source of an employees anger issues. Maybe a person needs to attend anger management classes.
I am a proponent of “humane cultures” in a workplace. Most companies are more concerned with the bottom line and the almighty dollar than actually caring about employees on a human level. That is reality. People are human first and employees second. Perhaps an angry employee is having issues at home and it is spilling into the workplace? Could someone be suffering from PTSD? What is the nature of the employee’s anger? I do know it makes a world of difference to a person when they are shown that others care about them. Sometimes people are suffering and believe that they are all alone. There is more to life than just “doing a job.”
We have a man-made system here in America. An economy that does not embrace people on a human level. Personally, I have never worked for an organization that showed a great deal of concern for an employee’s personal issues. I cannot identify with that type of environment.
People can be negative or people can be positive. This centers on the nature of an individual. I detest slapping labels on people. People are more than labels. Human behavior cannot be regulated and that includes the workplace.
It would be nice to live in a world where we learn to accept others for who they really are.
Hi Dan: I have a quote from somewhere (sorry don’t remember exactly where) that says: “People want to do what you do – but don’t want to do the “did” that you did to get to this place.” In a recent difficult situation, it took days of almost constant churning in my mind and soul to approach a person in a very calm, “Help me understand…” manner when I heard I had been publicly scorned by them. It went well, but it was a very difficult process to get to that point. No matter the ultimate outcome, it was the right response. Exhausting but right.
Anger has at times given me the energy I need to deal with a situation. It’s important to use that energy in a positive way that leads to solutions.
Being an effective leader requires a certain amount of assertiveness, but we should all think about at what point does assertiveness become aggressive arrogance? A leader needs to assert himself when things need correcting as it is his duty. Sometimes, though, as humans we can get complacent in our positions and in this case begin to assert ourselves more often than we normally would. It might be a gradual change in our character that we don’t even notice. So whenever we feel like asserting ourselves perhaps we can think about if the situation actually warrants it. We can ask the following:
1. Does this situation requirement my intervention?
2. Is it my place to intervene?
3. Are their ways to include others with my intervention?
Asserting yourself in a situation can be positive or negative. It just takes a thorough understanding of the situation to make it effective and beneficial for the organization in which a leader works.