Removing the Lid on Your Organization
The lid on your organization is
the person’s feelings you’re trying to protect.
The conversation down the hallway goes like this. “We can’t bring that issue up because Mr./Ms. ‘I’m The Center of the Universe’ will get upset.”
The drama queens you dance around
determines how far you go.
Sammy Salesman gets bent out of shape if reporting systems change. Dance around Sammy and, eventually, you end up in the dark.
The person you’re afraid to confront
anchors your team.
Oh! We can’t change our delivery system because Susie Secretary will freak out. The team ends up serving Susie, rather than customers.
Weak organizations are governed
by the preferences of those who can’t be upset.
The people you constantly comfort may be friends, but they are the enemy of innovation and excellence.
The people you comfort
determine the level of excellence you achieve.
Displeasing disruption:
Courageous leaders disrupt and disruption doesn’t feel good. Weak leaders:
- Live in fear of making someone upset.
- Choose comfort over advancement.
- Take responsibility for other’s feelings.
Effective disruptions when dealing with lids:
- Feelings matter. Demonstrate respect, courtesy, and kindness, regardless.
- Be certain disruption touches you as well as others. It’s easy to get out of touch with discomfort when all you do is change others.
- Ask Lids, “What are the issues?”
- Ask Lids, “Do you think I understand the issues?”
- Have Lids explain the goal of improvements and innovations.
- Practice transparency and candor. “The IT Department has heard the concerns of Susie Secretary.”
- Reject concerns based on past projects. The people you comfort beat you up with the past.
- Connect shared values with disruptions and goals.
- Build stability as well as disruption.
- Practice firmness calmly, without frustration or anger.
Bonus: Maintain optimism.
Check out the great feedback on Facebook: “When leaders try not to upset people they ________”
How can leaders deal effectively with people who use being upset as a strategy to prevent change?
You are discussing my favourite people Dan. I find that focussing people with something like “I’ve heard those concerns before and realise there are always reasons not to do something, however can we start to make a list of the reasons why we should do this – when I’ve worked it through in my own mind the reasons to make this change are far more compelling than the reasons not to – so lets see if we can agree that is the case.” The focus must be on the future – and breaking a cycle of repeated failures/ underperformance. Also as leaders i think you can take a lot of fear away by saying something along the lines of “I’ll own the decision all I’m asking is your support in implementing it and in contributing to how we can make the decision a fully effective one.”
Thanks Richard,
I can tell you’ve led change before. 🙂
It seems the first things we hear are reasons we can’t, shouldn’t, or won’t. Obviously we must anticipate problems. But, I love the conversation that begins, “Lets talk about why and how we should…”
Perhaps dividing the meeting into two parts… Everyone argues for and everyone argues against, regardless of their personal preference would elevate the conversation.
Cheers
Great post today Dan!!!!
Knocked this one outta the park!!!
For me I have always been more logical than emotional, just how I roll.
I find maintaining focus is the way to getting to optimism.
While everyone else is basking in the minuesha of emotion I keep my eye focused like a laser on the agreed upon goals.
When dealing with drunks buying into drama has deadly consequences so I stay out of the drivel.
Every adventure, pursuit to agree upon goals has curved, twists, turns challenges, challengers, whining, useless emotion and useful emotions.
As a person looking to be a part of the solution, not the problem I choose the best as I am able to stay above the emotional fray and keep a clear head when everyone else chooses to buy into what I call drameeeeee!
The optimism is more about who I am, not trying from time to time when it seems appropriate pretending to be .
Somebody has to stay focused, calm, determined. If it to be it is up to me.
Or not!!!!!! Lol
Have a great one!
SP back to NOW!!
Thanks Scott,
I’m so glad you focused on focusing on goals. All successful leaders keep future targets in mind… and they keep talking about where they’re going, all the time.
I find, personally, that my forward focus sometimes gets in the way because I don’t want to hear disagreement. I’m so focused I close my ears. That’s my issue.
Staying open and focused is a great challenge.
Yep TOUGH!!!!!!!!! I hear you, for me too.
Just Big Book, manual for a guide to successful living, tells me to work towards progress not perfection. So I got that going for me.
I listen to disagreements and then gently try to steer them back to connected why’s and agreed upon goals.
Sounds like this, Al, I hear ya! We decided awhile back when we reach our goals you will have what you need to feel successful and feed your family and send your kid to HAAAAVad. I hear what you are sharing with me now so how does that get us there to what you desire most, your hopes and dreams? What can I do RIGHT NOW to help you help me get us there?
Ask them to describe the feeling when they drop their kid off for their first semester at HAAAvad. How does that feel Al? What does it look like, what do the trees and flowers smell like. You want that AL? So lets calm down, refocus and make it happen together!
NEXT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The leverage to get people to focus back is to connect THEIR hopes and dreams back to agreed upon goals, not listening to their drivel.
Just my opinion based on my experience. Working for me, might work for you if you DO it.
Thanks again Dan GREAT STUFF TODAY!!!!!!!!!!!
SP back to NOW! The Truth is the Truth not because dingalings follow on my timetable, because it is Truth! Jesus said above all Love, right? Now it is not True cause we are doing a lousy job of it?. So I figure Truth is connected why’s and agreed upon goals and I just repeat ad-nauseum in-spite of all the white noise. You? Figure out your Truth and STICK TO IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
That’s perfect for going into today – dealing with emotional intelligence of my team is key to breaking down walls based on years of habit so we can build a new foundation and process based on shared goals, values.
Thanks Chris,
Years of bad habits are tough to break…best wishes.
Sometimes just naming the unnamed issues cracks the ice… but, I find that slipping into blaming the people around the table creates an adversarial relationship.
I suppose that’s where focusing on the issue and not the people is important.
Love the title of your piece. Let the organization breath. There are other ways, sometimes unsavory for the worst of an organization/person to get out to the public. The measured approach to providing feedback ought to be seen as an opportunity to engage in a healthier dialogue.
Thanks Suzette,
Glad you liked the title. Sometimes that’s the hardest part.
You bring an essential component to removing lids, FEEDBACK. We never achieve our highest potential without feedback. great add.
These “lids” are stakeholders. I think one of their great fears is that the changes will make them obsolete or render their functions useless. They may not have the skill sets or the desire to learn or embrace change. Not the leaders problem. The leader when considering what needs to be done to advance the organization/area would do well to factor in the regime of resistance. In some cases you can disarm them by making them apart of the process. They can be subject matter experts in some cases which means they could potentially have good information to share on that could assist in moving forward. But, at the end of the day the needs of the “few” do not outweigh the needs of the company to advance and so they will either get on the train or get left behind. What we have to be careful of though is that their negativity and pessimism is very contagious and could spread to others. They find comfort in others sympathy and try to garner support for their position by rallying others to side with them. If its a direct impact on what a person does or what they will do in the future then they should be brought to the table at appropriate intervals to communicate information. Like it or not they are stakeholders but like my mama always says, “One monkey doesn’t stop the show. The show goes on!”
Thanks Enna,
You are so right about lids are stakeholders. I’ll add, that lids often care very deeply and are motivated by good but limited intentions.
Thanks for suggestion that the good of the organization is of ultimate concern. Of course, aligning what’s good for the organizaiton and good for individuals is what management and leadership work on.
I’ll add that, sometimes if you deal harshly with one drama queen, the others realize you are serious and begin to think differently.
But then of course…there are the persistent ones… 🙂
A great way to analyze decisions is to use a pain/gain model. Use a two by two grid (four boxes). Columns labeled Pain and Gain; rows labeled no change (e.g. keep old software) and change (e.g. adopt new software). Recognizing both the pain and gain of change helps get buy in and assists in the emotional component of change.
Thanks Gayle,
I love simplicity because just enough enables clarity…thanks for adding a simple tool for finding clarity.
Why is this so hard for us to do or to get our other managers to do? The reality is that we have all danced around this issue before. It is like being on a diet. We know we are not supposed to eat that food, we still do it and feel awful every day we have to loosen our belt. When we finally lose 10 pounds we feel so much better and wonder why we didn’t do this months ago. I guess it is the self discipline to do what we know is right for the health of ourselves and everyone else…
Thanks Patrick,
You really captured that feeling of frustration and regret that comes over us when we realize we’ve been sabotaging ourselves and others.
Powerful
Perhaps part of the problem is living for short term vs. long term benefit. Like the bite the bullet now so things will be better tomorrow.
My need to be liked is another issue that silences me when I should speak up. I’m learning to deal with that beast, slowly.
Dan,
I have seen first hand what you’ve described in many organizations that I’ve worked with. I’ve seen Managing Directors try to be all things to all people.
Today’s post however spoke to me about how I lead my own life. Just this morning I was reflecting on how I always make time for others, ensure that their needs are met, say it’s no problem when sometimes it is just to please them. I was raised by my granny when my mom went to England to earn her degree and saw my grandmother self sacrifice daily.
I realized in my own life I use being helpful and being available as a currency for acceptance and inclusion.
So “displeasing disruption” speaks to me directly:
Live in fear of making someone upset.(usually colleagues)
Choose comfort over advancement (my own advancement – let me help everyone else while I stay stuck)
Take responsibility for other’s feelings (big time! 🙂 )
After journaling and then reading your post I know it’s confirmation that I need to turn this around for myself, my growth and my success.
Thanks Dan for always being a catalyst for new ideas, and applications.
Giselle
Great one!, Hit the nail on the head. ;O)
Hello,
My name is Ela.
I like your newsletters, however I have the impression that I have them too often. Is it possible to change the frequency of sending and send them less a month to give time to read and implement into life what is written in newsletters, please?
Thank you.
Ela 🙂
Dan, You continually describe the last organisation I worked with before going out on my own. So relevant, so true and so real..unfortunately.
It’s like you wrote this specifically for me. I had to have the uncomfortable conversation today and it was so amazingly helpful to have this pep talk just hours before. It gets easier, but deep down inside… I still struggle with having to tell someone to set it up.
Thank you so much!