13 Things You Don’t Need to Lead
Pressure that’s rooted in unrealistic expectation; frustrates, defeats, even crushes.
Self-imposed pressure drains joy, prevents progress, and invites leaders to become isolated and self-protective.
Leaders don’t need to:
- Stand up front.
- Pretend they know when they don’t.
- Talk first, most, and longest.
- Cling to authority.
- Protect their image.
- Feel important.
- Fix all the problems.
- Be right all the time.
- Make all the decisions.
- Answer all the questions.
- Lead all the meetings.
- Take the credit.
- Have position.
Pressure goes up and satisfaction goes down when leaders do what they don’t need to do.
Two conversations:
I woke up this morning with two conversations on my mind. One recent and one from the past.
Past – freedom to not know:
I asked Mark Miller, Vice President for Organizational Effectiveness for Chick-fil-A, if he could go back in time, what advice would he give his younger self. He said, I’d tell my younger self that he doesn’t need to have all the answers.
Self-important leaders need to have all the answers.
The need to have answers makes you dread questions, reject exploration, and build walls. The pursuit of answers, on the other hand, makes others feel valuable. When you have all the answers, you tell others they’re not important.
“Let’s find an answer,” is better than, “I have the answer.”
Recent – freedom to make mistakes:
An experienced, high-level leader said, this is the first time in my career that my leader is OK with learning from mistakes. (paraphrase)
The need to learn and grow is natural and joyful. The need to be right is arrogant.
Talent languishes, progress stalls, and leaders posture in “need to be right” cultures. Sadly, “cover your butt” is normal for many organizations.
“What are you learning,” is better than, “What do you know.”
How can leaders stop doing what they don’t need to do?
What do leaders really need to do?
Dan – wonderful statements.
“The need to learn and grow is natural and joyful.
The need to be right is arrogant.” – very important statement!
The biggest challenge in a relationship is – to support – the relationship partner
in his conversion, learning and development process.
Decisions out of fear make you unfree.
Decisions out of love make you free.
The greater the success – the more mistakes we can make
– that’s not a contradiction.
The question would be – what is success and that’s the only goal
– or is there not more important goals!
Encourage culture ideas – opens people – also for new opportunities.
Of course, this is make a process of recognition and self-experience – just do it!
And it needs our openness in mind and heart – share – to motivate – build
– that together.
Have a joyful day – Beate
>> Let´s find new answers 😉
Thanks Beate. I enjoy that you added “love” to the conversation. It’s exciting to see language of the heart seeping into leadership.
Thanks for adding value.
Thank you – Love it – Dan.
Life is a unique and infinite wealth – richness. <3
Our values determine our lives, if we love it – this is the greatest power
– the appreciation – to ourselves and we pass it on to other people – sharing it!
The greatest success is goodwill and a deep mystery of growth
– towards a common happy and satisfied life. 😉
Leadership is have the confidence to say “I don’t know, I need to look that up or think about it and then get back to you.” rather than trying to make it up because they don’t want to look unknowledgeable.
Thanks Andy. Don’t make it up, look it up! 🙂
Andy is so right. Then, when you get the answer and get back to the people you were dealing with, often they are surprised because you simply did what you said you would do.
Fantastic point, Andy. “Let me think about that and …” Is too infrequently said or heard and it needs to make a reappearance. Our culture of immediacy, certitude and the presumptuous omniscience of not only leaders, but of everyone trying to appear competent (& those who are overconfident) must be revised and replaced by humility and a desire to learn what is not yet known. Let’s “think about it” or even “ruminate” because speaking and acting without conscious thought and deliberate action is foolhardy and doomed to failure or stagnation.
Dear Dan,
A thought-provoking & useful post. Good leaders need to have a curious mind and open to learn from others. It’s again “We” approach that scores over “I know” attitude while working on operational issues. Valuing individuals and their talents will be beneficial. Taking everything on your head leads to unnecessary stress and keeps you isolated while solving so called confidential strategic issues.
Treat your colleagues and subordinates more as Team Members rather than Followers, Your list of don’t is quite simple but meaningful once we think deeply. Unknowingly, we are acting the same way many times in the real life and land up in difficult situations.
Thanks Dr. Asher. “We” not “me” or “I”… powerful! That shift makes so much difference. Thanks for jumping into the conversation.
This Is Great..Jus Scratched A Whole Bunch Of NonSence Of The *Ta*Due*List..A Few Less Crosses To Bear ToDay Thanx A Million
Thanks trbl13. Best for the journey my friend.
This depends on the organisation and probably the size of the organisation. I have worked in small business where my boss owns the business but is a technical person and I’m the marketing manager. He hired me because that’s my expertise and he respects my opinion, even if we need to talk through things to reach a consensus. I would say this situation is true of many businesses and so leaders need to keep in mind the strengths and weaknesses of their team members and their contributions to the business. Let them do what you hired them for and your job is hopefully just to keep the machinery well-greased. As a leader, your role is to guide the ship not necessarily to drive it.That is, if the team is working well.
Thanks roweeee. Guide don’t drive. When leaders help teams function in their strengths and get out of the way, the team pulls the leader and organization forward. Glad you joined in.
Dear Dan,
I appreciate the concept of stop doing what leaders do not need to do. It is also important for leaders to understand what they are not suppose to do. When leaders are more concerned about showing power or feeling of superior then they stop to be leaders. They start becoming manipulators. I have seen many people claiming leaders are desperately engaged into power game. They do everything to hold some position, hold some power, control some groups etc. They become so blind that they do anything and everything to achieve power. Such people are actually unaware about the leadership concept itself.
I strongly feel, leaders need to create their boundary of leadership. They should also define the impact of that leadership. Most importantly, what means they use to achieve what is needed is very important. I think, people define their own limitation of boundary and try to justify it. It is crucial to break self-created periphery which delimits our progress and effort.
So simple yet so true. If only all leaders would be a little bit more open minded and listen more than talk… Ego always comes from fear – that is why dictatorial bosses are never to be trusted.
it is arrogant to think we have all the answers – great point!
Also look beyond the leader to see how the organization rewards telling, versus asking.
Really like this one! Your posts always challenge me to grow. Love it!
Great post as usual Dan!
I especially like your opening statement “Self-imposed pressure drains joy, prevents progress, and invites leaders to become isolated and self-protective.”
It’s terribly odd to observe how this pressure is driving our lives instead of us doing the driving. The answer lies in love and vulnerability of course…if only it were easy to get there… 🙂
Great post as usual Dan!
I especially like your opening statement “Self-imposed pressure drains joy, prevents progress, and invites leaders to become isolated and self-protective.”
It’s terribly odd to observe how this pressure is driving our lives instead of us doing the driving. The answer lies in love and vulnerability of course…if only it were easy to get there… 🙂
Good list Dan.
Great leaders stop doing what doesn’t need to be done has everything to do with the intention of their leadership in the first place.
It goes back to one of your other posts that I can’t recall at the moment. The big question for anyone is WHY do we want to lead in the first place? What’s our intention? Motive? Purpose?
If it’s anything other then SERVICE, there’s going to be a ton of unhealthy behaviors attached to a persons leadership. i.e. revolving around the need to feel important reflected over the persons desire to HAVE to ‘be a leader’ in the first place or an insatiable need to be admired.
And rest assured Dan, this is more of a generalized statement and observation predominantly related to what I’ve seen ONLINE over the past couple years in the leadership space.
Good leadership is about SERVICE. Not about self importance and filling up narcissistic needs. (need for admiration)
When a persons ‘need’ revolves around those things, it’s reflected in what they do, and how they treat people. And a LACK of legitimate service. Most things will be done to GET the unhealthy needs met DESPITE ‘leadership’ words used.
Good leaders help people. Because that’s what it’s all about. (at least in my mind)
Thanks for sharing Dan.
Excellent post. Leaders learn best by being willing to admit they were wrong but enlisting others to help find a solution. Brings unity in purpose. There was only one perfect leader -Jesus. He started a ministry with 12. But he loved them every step in their development. He led with love, sign of a great leader. Anything else is intimidation & fear ruining people and crushing only to control them. This happens more than we know.
Dan, What a great post. I am only part way done with reading the book “Multipliers” by Liz Wiseman, but your points of lets learn together and not having to be right all the time or make all the decisions really echos what I am reading there and the power to use this type of attitude to increase everyone’s performance in an organization.