What Lousy Leaders Can’t Do
Lousy leaders expect others to adapt to them. They’re rigid and bossy.
If you expect others to adapt to you, get over yourself. Failure to adapt to others frustrates everyone, including yourself.
- Leadership is relationships.
- All relationships include adapting.
- Successful leaders adapt to others before others adapt to them.
Shocking truth:
If you aren’t the boss, you might think, “If I could just be the boss, I’d have my way.” Nothing is further from the truth.
Leaders don’t have authority so they can have their own way.
“As a leader, it is your job to make your team successful, not the other way around.” Chris LoCurto
Adapting to others:
Chris LoCurto, teacher of the Entreleadership Performance Series, loves teaching personality styles. DiSC helped him know himself. Just as importantly, DiSC helped him adapt to others by learning their communication styles.
First step:
Chris said, “DISC helps leaders understand how they give and receive information. If you get that ‘deer in the headlights look’ after giving instructions, you have a problem. We give information the way we listen.”
In order to effectively adapt, align with yourself; find your starting place. Are you fact or feeling driven, for example? If you act first and research later, you drive thoughtful people crazy.
See yourself then see others.
Second step:
“Learn how people receive information.”
It might surprise you, but some people think about the feelings of others. If you’ve said, “But, what did I say?” in response to hurting someone’s feelings, you gave information the way you receive it.
Chris explained that he and his team took the DISC assessment. He’d interact with a team member and then read their profile. In about seven cycles he learned how to, “lean in their direction.”
Get over yourself by adapting your communication styles.
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Visit Chris’ website: chrislocurto.com
Have you seen bosses who didn’t adapt? What happened?
In what ways are you adapting to others?
Reblogged this on HEART and commented:
I agree that being flexible is key to getting the best out of those you work with. There is a fine balance though that needs to be achieved. It is possible to be too flexible.
Nice one. I am especially connected with the point you mention about a leader needing to “align” with himself/herself, even before seeking to adapt. I have experienced many leaders struggle to get past the first stage of “self alignment”.
While I am certain a DISC assessment would be helpful, the alignment really stems from how authentic we are and how much we “want” to make a difference to people and organizations – as opposed to how much do I want to gain for myself as a leader.
Dear Dan,
It is true that there are bosses who do not adapt. They try to control circumstances and situation by trying to control people. They are generally passive people who thinks for their advancement. They are not concerned about others development. And why these behaviors emerge is many- fear is the core. Again what drives the fear is their inability to adapt the changing situations. They are incompetent and sort sighted people. Inertia and inability to see the future is the main problems. And this is the symptom of lousy leaders. We can also name them as mis leaders. How I adapt to others depends upon many factors. I see the reliability of the source, credibility of the person and intention of the person.
So, source is main parameter. The other things that I adapt from others is the non tangible components. For example if someone is pumping in lot of energy, enthusiasm to achieve my goal, then I follow and adapt the person. When I see others performing extra ordinary, I get inspire and keep adapting the traits and qualities of the source.
Hi Dan, does, “Leaders don’t have authority so they can have their own way,” mean leaders, managers or both? Seems to me leaders are far more likely to have the authority to have their own way than do managers. The caveat of course is that a leader’s own way is what is best or at least better for the organization.
Leaders who try to adapt to new hires who have a poor job suitability are just making more work for themselves and quite often create a poor experience for many of their new hires.
When we hire for competence and talent we avoid many of the performance problems of employees, Hire right, manage smart, reward fairly.
Years ago Sandy, a direct report, came to me because she finished her assignment and needed another one. I said, “Do A then B then C then D then E then F.” I gave her six assignments quickly and off the top of my head. Sandy turned and was walking away when she stopped and said, “Mr. Gately, I have a dumb question to ask.” I looked at here and said, “Don’t you have a masters degree in environmental engineering,” and she replied, “you know I do.” I followed up with, “Don’t you have an undergraduate degree in Mathematics which impresses the heck out of me?” Sandy replied, “Yes.” I then said, “Then nothing you could ask me could be a stupid question.” Sandy replied, “But I don’t know what you want me to do next.” I replied, “That is my fault, not yours. Sit down and grab a pencil and a pad of paper and lets make a list.”
After Sandy completed the task list I then asked, “Sandy, I have a dumb question, had I said that, ‘that was a dumb question,’ what would have been your reaction?” Sandy replied, “The first time you did it I would think you were having a bad day. If you did it a second time, it would be your last.” Sandy was clear that the goodwill that existed between us could be lost with only two episodes of bad behavior by me.
Too many supervisors and managers either believe or act as if they are the world’s best communicators. The responsibility to be understood lies with the speaker and in Sandy’s case, it was with me.
Many of my clients are at the very upper end of the bell shaped curve of mental abilities. In other words, their minds are like a jet fighter pilot while many of their direct reports are more like an ocean liner captain; they can do their jobs well but not as faster not as error free as the jet fighter pilot. Clients who are in the top 10% are often pleased yet become sad when they realize that their direct reports may be trying to do a good job but they have failed their direct reports by not taking into account their direct reports abilities to remember all of the directions spewed out at them like water from a fire hose.
I always end with, “Never ask a direct report, ‘Do you understand what I want or mean?’ since what they understand is what they remember so instead ask ‘What are you going to do next?’ and wait for an answer. If what they are going to do next is what you want them to do next, then ask them “what will you do after you get that done?” It won’t take long to learn if they understand what you want them to do.
Dan, Hi. I am a wife, a healthcare worker by nature, EMS and hospital ER/Trauma & ICU. I absolutely love your each and EVERY blog post you write, I eat it up like candy. I find your blog so interesting and appiles to much more than management work. I am not in management, my husband is. He is an district manager, most done HR and management all his life. He is the funny guy that makes fun of others and life, and claims to run hotels, to get that attention almost like a fame feel. He would like to say he is the best man for the job in whatever he does. Not that I want to burst his bubble but how do you lovingly bring him back to this articles topic and say were do you see yourself and how does others see you and make the changes to be the better guy to work for? If it is happen at work, it is probably happening at home. Capeesh? I hope this finds you well… Jackie
This is a big part of the reason we take our coaching cohorts through the DiSC and a series of other assessments because until we know how we are wired, and how our team is wired, we have no clue how to communicate with one another… and how to make each other successful.
Good stuff today, Dan!
Deming once said, “it is not necessary to change. Survival is not mandatory.” That truism fits organizations and those that lead them. What got leaders to the point of leading is not/may not be what they need to lead, in fact, they may need to let go of many of their own processes and maintain a ‘semper Gumby’ mindset.
And, as with cars, we likely could benefit from one of those ‘lifetime realignment’ deals, so that our groove does not turn into a rut before we realize it. Perpetual realignment?
Having that flexibility in communication is one of the keys. Not just learn how others receive information AND also retain information. Rarely is it a ‘one and done’ process. The old adage of hear, see, do does apply, dependent on each person’s current skill sets. Become facile in synthesizing a range of communication methods, then individualize to each audience or person. Coupled with that flexibility could be leadership modeling the value of continuous learning.
Great read but I wish it had explained more about the fact that every employee/supervisor, as well as every person, is different. Each reacts to different stimuli and differing methods of communication. A good manager/team leader understands this and remembers that each employee should be treated as an individual.
Dan,
Great article. DiSC is a wonderful tool to help people understand their own natural tendencies and how that relates to people with different styles. It can really open your eyes to how mis-communication occurs in your organization.
Carol
Hi Dan, excellent article. Leaders also need to realize that it takes time to really get to know and develop a relationship with those you are leading. Letting new hires know that you are looking forward to getting to know them and that you believe in open communication from the start has helped me in this area. Thank you for the link and lead to DiSC I will check this out. 🙂
This is a great piece Dan. Becoming a great leader can be achieved by truly understanding people. Understanding standing others circumstances, backgrounds and life experiences is key. Traveling has been a great way for me to become more personable and the more people I meet from different background the more enriched I feel.
Listening. Leaders who listen are the ones who unearth problems, create a climate of communication and are willing to receive unvarnished, unsanitised messages. They can therefore make decisions with the proper context and background which would otherwise be stripped out. As we all know, leadership is always the last to know when there are problems. Why? Problem signals come from the grassroots. Don’t be a “clueless” leader!
Great post, helping your team to succeed is the greatest thing a leader can do. Again not to make themselves successful but because that is the only way to meet your common goals (sales, events, quota, etc).
Great post, helping your team to succeed is the greatest thing a leader can do. Again not to make themselves successful but because that is the only way to meet your common goals (sales, events, quota, etc).