Leadership’s Most Neglected Virtue
Few things are more devastating than being used and abused by those you support. Disloyalty burns like no other burn. Disloyalty demoralizes.
Strength:
The strength of an organization is expressed by the loyalty of its people. Military organizations thrive because members disadvantage themselves for the advantage of others, for example.
Giving:
Calling for loyalty demands reciprocity. Sacrifice of life calls for loyalty to the fallen. “No man left behind,” is the flip side of, “Give your life for the cause.”
If you want loyalty, give it.
Have you ever heard the bull crap line, “I need you too much to promote you?”
Never be loyal to those who are disloyal.
Expression:
Loyalty is seen when:
- Gossip is rejected. All gossip is disloyalty.
- Serving others rises above serving self.
- Disagreement is encouraged and honored. People who won’t engage in constructive disagreement believe they’ll be thrown under the bus when it’s convenient.
- People own decisions even if they disagreed.
- Everyone is held to consistent standards. Those higher in organizations never enjoy benefit at the expense of others.
- Leaders take blame and share credit.
Sacrifice:
Disadvantaging self for others isn’t sacrifice when values align, it’s an honor. Standing for something enables you to stand-with.
Mistakes:
Loyalty is best seen in the context of mistakes and short-comings. Few things stir the soul more than standing with someone who fell short. Loyalty for loyalties sake is foolish, however.
Stand with those who acknowledge mistakes and make corrections. Reject those who hide mistakes and persist.
Standing “with” demonstrates and invites loyalty.
Few things bring out the best in others more than loyalty. Who are you standing with? Who stands with you?
How and when do you express loyalty?
Have you seen loyalty at work?
Loyalty is to an organization (or a family) what gravity is to the solar system.
Hi Joe,
I’ll take that to be… it holds things together.
Thanks for being first in today.
Cheers,
Dan
Dear Dan,
I take some nuggets of wisdom from the post. Never be loyal to those who are disloyal. All gossip is disloyalty. Leaders take blame and share credit. These are so true that time and history perhaps may not change it. I think gossip are generally blame centered.People criticize or demean someone not present. So, gossip creates negative environment that damage talent and culture. Leaders should ensure that gossip turn into intellectual discussion. The good news about loyalty is that every one needs it but very few want to be loyal to others. There is only one best way as you have suggested: Be loyal if you want others to be loyal to you. Today, organizations suffer from disloyalty. I absolutely agree that loyalty is reciprocity in nature. Organizations and management want employees to be loyal without being loyal to employees. Creating hierarchy and Silos are road blockers to loyalty. Generally in the organizations there are some category of people who creates disloyalty but show that they are loyal to the organizations. Those who monitors and tracks boss style, preferences and habits. These people are known as “boondoggler”
Dear Ajay,
Thanks for your comment. I hadn’t thought about silos in the context of loyalty but now that you bring it up, I sure can see it.
Silos have an “us/them” orientation. Silos represent the negative power of misplaced loyalty.
Thanks for sharing your insights.
Best,
Dan
Dear Dan,
I agree. Organizations have silos and human beings have blind spots. And both affect loyalty. So, I think delaying both could increase loyalty. Ideally speaking, both should not come in between but they do intervene the loyalty. We can take example of relationship that is based on expectation. It may not last long.But relationship based on sacrifice without expectation definitely lasts long and enhance loyalty.
Regards
Ajay
There was a period a number of years ago when we had a number of people leave in a very short period of time. Management sat down with the staff to try to openly discuss issues to see if there was something that needed to change. During the discussion our senior partner said to the newest staff on our team that each of them was hired because we believed that they had the potential and the ability to one day be partners. That statement of belief created more loyalty than any program we could have put in place.
I love this Bonnie. The senior partner saying “they had the potential” to be a partner created a shift in the mindset of the team.
Great Bonnie.
He (your leader) admitted they were hired because they had the potential to be a partner. In essence he was admitting their loss was significant. He valued them even after they were gone.
He called a meeting to find out from everyone what could have been done differently.
That is an organization with leadership that would earn my respect.
Thank you for sharing that story. It gives me hope.
Dauna Easley
Bonnie, thanks for sharing a great story. Best, Dan
Well written – thank you!
cheers!
Great challenge today Dan – how and when?
How? – well I’m going to sound bite Ajay’s comments about communication – by demonstrating “Curiosity, humbleness and acceptance and respect”. When? – I like to think I convey my loyalty every day to both family and colleagues (the organisation in general)
Whenever this is not reciprocal I think I must ask if that is where it is moving towards – and if it’s not it’s time to cut your losses. The harder question is – “Is this because of your loyalty or there’s?”
Of course I get it wrong from time to time, and don’t honour my intent every minute hour or day, but that’s what makes your post such a great challenge
Beware of false friends who seem to have abandoned many others because they were fools. There is a fine line between Loyalty and foolishness sometimes – it can turn on a moment. The art is being able to see this in the face of desperately wanting your ‘loyalty’ to be honoured/returned, when to others clearly it is not.
Richard
In today’s business climate, loyalty needs to be practiced and demonstrated on a consistent basis.
It all comes down to leadership. Your team is watching everything that you say and do.
It’s not enough to show loyalty in spurts, or when it’s politically correct. Your team will know it’s not authentic.
Practice loyalty in a small way, each and every day. You’ll be surprised by the returns.
I’ll be doing a presentation in a few days on how decisions made because of budgets changes can affect employee moral in library organizations. So many of your statements relate to the overall topic of my presentation, and loyalty is indeed a grave part of any organization – and loyalty needs to be nurtured!
Dan,
Here’s the greatest compliment I can give your post. It brought to mind perhaps eight different stories throughout my (and my co-workers’) careers that I could use to illustrate each point.
You’ve come up with words and explanations that exactly resonate experiences in my life.
If I had one of those big gongs on a giant stand I’d hit it with a mallet. Booiiinnnng. Right on target!
Brilliant.
Dauna Easley
Hi Dan I really enjoyed this post. I am very fortunate to be working with people who are loyal to each other and the business we work for. Our patients can tell it on their first visit to our office. It has taken an investment in the people there by the business owner but the return is something you cannot buy with money. Have a wonderful day.
Your point regarding reciprocity may be one of the keys to how and when. (When might be the easier of the two to answer…consistently and all of the time. If those two criteria are not met then the loyalty is in question and certainly the reciprocity is compromised)
How does leadership or any employee demonstrate reciprocal loyalty? UPR could be one approach…unconditional positive regard.
Yes, trust but verify does factor in, but once verified (what is your verification process and is it transparent?); actively and consistently demonstrating unconditional positive regard with every interaction that is aligned with vision would be a great start.
I’m concerned for a world in which “values-centered” (principle-centered) actions/leading are taking second place to profit-centered (some might say survival-centered) decisions/leading. I believe this has eroded loyalty from the employee side –by seeing other team members dismissed.. And from the manager side –by receiving gut-wrenching declarations “you must cut your staff by 20%.”
None of this makes loyalty (or honesty, or similar) less important, but it makes the execution step more challenging and for a percentage of the workforce it has created a cynical spirit that works against anything positive.
Thanks for encouraging us in positive directions
As someone who has felt the pain of behind-the-back gossip, lack of support, and closed-door mutinies, this post really resonates with me. Thank you for recognizing the importance of loyalty and also encouraging some of the behaviors that earn it.
PS Dan, do you have any “re-blogging” policies? Or do I have the freedom to re-blog some of your posts to my site? (Goes without saying, I think you put out some very good posts that I think my audience would enjoy… I would also have it translated to Spanish…)
I recently pinned my column on “How to manage Millennials” and discovered something in my research that really surprised me, which speaks to your post today.
Everything you state works well for Baby Boomers, but does it apply to Millennials (born between 1981 and 2000)?
Here is what I found, 80% of Millennials dislike their jobs and the average Millennial will have 8.6 jobs between 18 and 32.
Current leaderships’ greatest challenge in my opinion is how does one inspire these new employees to remain in the organization.
When one considers the average turnover cost for a departing employee today is $75,000/employee, Loyalty is an attribute worth spending some time working on.
Loyalty in its real sense means full devotion of time and efforts towards the betterment of an organization. It certainly demands reciprocity and a very important point to get employees more committed towards higher productivity. It’s an inner strong feeling to fulfil the assigned tasks in the finest manner and get the reciprocal treatment by recognition and rewards.
Leaders can make a big difference in inculcating this feelling amongst all staff members by setting his own example. Remaining truthful, having good fairness and transperant and honouring given commitments are specific things what employees look for in their management. Once satisfied, ordinary people turn out to be extraordianary in results.
Loyalty also means not to speak bad about the organization that you work in public. Go to the extent of stopping gossipers to criticize the management and its style or don’t be party to such time-wasting discussion. Loyalty also expects you to be very honest and faithful leading to long-term services and always be there during ups and downs of the organization working.
Can we term ‘Loyalty’ as love my ability to contribute singularly and collectively towards the organization growth.
I find that I learned these lessons at my Grandfathers knee. Life always gets in the way and I learn them over and over again. Some of these I have always practiced and some I have never been good with. Seeing it put so straight forward dose bring it home again.
Dear Dan,
Hi, I don’t recall having replied to any of your posts before, but, once again, you’ve written something that hits home for me. I’ve been in the workforce since I was 16 years old, totaling about 20+ years. I’ve worked for many companies, both small companies and large corporations. In my opinion “loyalty” is a relative term; not meaning the same thing to everyone. Unfortunately my experiences (either personally or by observation) with most managers is that loyalty is a favor or held only for those that they believe deserve it. I’m not implying loyalty should be blind, but I believe loyalty should be prominent and obvious to all who fall under some sort of leadership. I recall my skepticism when seeing banners or posters that speak of “integrity”, “honesty”, “loyalty”, “teamwork” while I’ve gone on interviews. I know that one of my biggest desires is to work with a company, team, or group that holds loyalty as a personal standard towards each other, not just towards the company/corporation. There is much I have not said so I hope my response isn’t too vague. I also recognize that a lot of what I’ve seen in the workforce is more related to poor management styles or attitudes rather than just issues with loyalty. Thank you for allowing my .75 cents worth! Have a great day everyone
Hi Dan, fantastic post. Some sidelines on the concept of loyalty. It is a challenge to demonstrate “equal” loyalty even when that is what is called for. “Distributing” loyalty must be grounded on a bed of equanimity. I would submit that showing the highest loyalty will lift those that might feel they are not as deserving. I know that some do not believe in “degrees” of loyalty but circumstances in life call for us to prove our loyalty on multiple different levels. Lastly we must stand fast and be loyal to ourselves to be able to give loyalty to others. Denying our values and integrity to give loyalty is an exercise in futility.
Semper Fi
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Dan, I love the engagement here. Loyalty. What a great subject and a difficult one for sure. I agree that it needs to come form within and from the people in leadership positions. My mantra or words that I like to live by are “Lead by example”. When you can and you do then loyalty may follow.
This is a tough world and a fickle one so when you do have a loyal team then the achievement is not to be overlooked.
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