Finding Your Power

Focusing on what others should have done is an excuse maker’s paradise.

Responses reflect values.

Excuse maker and blamers value themselves above others. They’ll drive the knife in your back if it serves their purposes.

Compassionate leaders value others. They believe in lifting rather than crushing.

Responses reflect confidence.

Blamers live defensive lives, feeling pushed around by circumstances and people. They don’t believe they’re able to change things. They feel trapped. They’re dangerous, like caged animals, they’ll lash out.

Confident leaders remain calm during disappointment while seeking solutions, at the same time. They aren’t frantic. They’re focused.

Responses reflect connections:

Excuse makers feel alone; they don’t trust or consult with others, except to determine who to blame.

Connected leaders seek solutions with others. They’re willing to ask “dumb” questions in their pursuit of smart answers. They don’t believe they have the answers. They believe they can get answers.

The weakness of blaming and the power of solution seeking is all about your values, confidence, and connectedness.

Embracing your power:

We taught our grandchildren to swim. They started with floaties. I still remember their white knuckled grasp the first time they tried swimming without artificial buoyancy. We stayed close.

They kicked and splashed and nearly sank, at first. Gradually we moved away. Soon they were swimming from one side of the pool to the other. Eventually, they instructed, “You can get out of the pool now, Poppi.” Their gleaming pride was priceless.

The most powerful thing you can do today is take small steps toward big goals. Forget giant leaps toward perfect solutions.

Your next step is too big if you feel trapped and powerless.  Break it down.


How do you rise above excuse making?

How can we help others rise above blaming and excuse making?


Subscribe to Leadership Freak todayIt’s free, practical, and brief. The subscribe button is in the upper right of the home page. I’ll never sell your email address, promise.